This is not true. You obviously can't do this in a tiny town but I dated multiple people in Ottawa is only ~850,000 -- it gets to 1.2 million when you count the French side. Likewise at university the population was just 350,000 but there were an additional 60,000 students and for this purpose you need at least 25,000 people in your target demographic.

Why would you need completely different social circles? This isn't something secret that you can't let other people know about. The girls you are dating know you are dating other girls and you know they are dating other guys. There is generally an unspoken agreement that you don't explicitly discuss this but it is assumed. Occasionally you'll run into each other while out on dates and you just smile and act like you've run into a co-worker.

As I said before I am really curious to know how FB has changed this. I suspect FB makes dating really bad. If I was single I'd keep my FB under an altered last name and only allow actual friends access to anything. Having an open profile or allowing people you've just started dating onto FB has to be the cause of a lot of drama.

No. This is just the accepted norm for dating so why would anyone be upset. If you lead someone on that is different but why would anyone get angry over something that is standard?

If anything I think guys have a harder time with it. I base this on conversations I had with girls (friends and in a few cases girls I was dating) and guys didn't like or understand why the girls were dating other guys. I suspect it was just standard insecurity because the girls were above them and they really weren't competitive.

If you meet a girl who wants to be exclusive right from the start that is a pretty big red flag. Figuring out if you want to go on a date with someone takes pretty much no time because it isn't a big commitment. Figuring out if you want to be in a monogamous relationship with someone takes a lot of time. Even after a half-dozen dates you're only starting to get to know the person and starting to form an idea of the relationship potential. Anyone who wants to be in a relationship after a few dates has nothing to base that on and that is a really bad sign.

Agree with henry about dating multiple girls at once. I think the problem is, most guys meet a girl they like and feel the need to lock her down into a exclusive relationship because they're scared they will lose her. So what they do is focus all the attention on her which ironically drives her away. When you are single its important to keep all your options open. It could actually scare a girl away if you start talking about being in a serious relationship with her, but by having options your mindstate is a lot calmer and you can carefully chose what type of girl you want to be exclusive with. I'ts her job to bring up exclusivity, not the guys. It also makes you a lot more attractive if she knows you're dating other women.

If you start dating a girl and update your facebook relationship status you are lame as ****

That's not what he's suggesting

Do not convey any of this to her.

Its like saying "if I don't find anything better, I will settle for you"

So,if you aren't in relationship mode right now,keep it platonic.

But be aware,if she's awesome, somebody will get to her eventually


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long time no see. slept with an older (not sure age, but guess is 33?) british girl last night. ridic body, medium face. cool girl too. however, for some reason, i have no interest in seeing her again. i'm not sure why but it happens a lot. i think im getting to be more of a commitment phobe as i get older. the problem is that she is really into me and suggested we do lots of things together and see each other soon (not in a creepy or overattached way though). i, of course, said sure that sounds like fun because i didnt want to be like "no i dont plan to ever talk to you again". what's the move here?

also, i feel like recently, without condoms (we didnt have any...) i havent been able to last very long in bed at all. last 3 or so times ive had sex. pretty annoying really

You're such a pisces, Colin.

Thanks for the responses. I might have some confidence issues. Lately I am extremely focused on how I walk, what I look like and how others view me.
I dont know if this is normal or a bad thing.

I blew my poker BR today and decided that I take a time-out from the game so I got more time to improve myself. What would your first suggestions be (besides going to the gym --> already doing that or go traveling --> went 3 weeks to America and a week to Belgium this vacation)

Improve your wardrobe. Get another hobby (not because you should drop cards, but because you should do a wide variety of things)

Does blowing your bankroll cause issues for finances?

If yes then fixing that should be the first priority. It is really hard to lead an interesting life on a budget.

I think I approved my wardrobe a lot. It's not like I wear a suit everyday but I got clothes that fit my body pretty well (which is hard since I am 6''4)

No it doesnt cause issues for finance. I am a student tho so it's not like I am swimming in cash, but I am doing alright.

Thanks for the condom suggestions, going to order a few different brands. Maybe I'll even try masturbating with them lol.

Be sure to take pics of you wearing the condom so we can help out.

Hey guys,

I understand I may be opening myself up to attack, but I'm hoping some will give advice without considering the moral issues here.

I teach a private test prep class at night and there's an absolutely gorgeous girl who has a crush on me. She just graduated college; I'm about ten years older.

The difficulty is that there is zero opportunity for me to create any personal touching or contact. I'd like to figure out a creative way to approach the situation with confidence right now rather than wait until later in the term when I give out my email and then hope she uses it. (I assume she will, but who knows, by that point it might be too late.)

The fact that I'm married complicates the situation in that I don't have a place to take her back to, and I'm pretty sure she's living with her parents between college and law school. Though I've never had an affair, I think I can work out those details well enough and intend to be upfront with her about the nature of our relationship.

But I'm really struggling with both how to isolate and make a move here. I'd like to make a strong play while the class is still ongoing because it's so much ballsier, but I can't create the opportunity. Perhaps I should expect that if she's as interested as I think she will provide one by staying after class one day or asking for private tutoring?

Anyways, this should be a slam dunk but I'm rusty and a bit infatuated for my own good. Definitely willing to cheat, though, that part is settled in my mind.

Thanks for any advice.

How are you so sure she's as into you as you think? What exactly has she said/done?

The first question is what makes you think she has a crush on you?

She probably is angling for a good grade.

So unless she has initiated,you're probably looking at a violation of the student teacher rules,could lose your job and if you piss her off,she tells your wife.

-EV




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I'm not sure of course, but a significant number of the standard physical signs are there. Being totally sure isn't necessary, I'd give it a go at decent odds. She would have to be a dedicated sleuth to get ahold of my wife and girls really don't blow up on married guys who just ask them out.

I teach for a private company. There are no grades. We are allowed to socialize with students in any way. However, maintaining professionalism in the classroom requires that I don't do anything too overt.

Does she know you're married?

If you've never had an affair I'd advise against it. Cheating sucks and I think there's a good chance you'd regret it after, no matter how gorgeous this girl may be. Even if you plan it well, there's a possibility of getting caught and ruining your marriage.

You didn't include much info on this but I mean if it's something you're willing to risk then go for it I guess.

Nothing I hate more than people that cheat. Lowest thing you can do to someone that you 'love'. Disgusting.

I taught the LSAT and this was not uncommon but I didn't work for anyone. In your situation what if she decides to make a big deal about this? Low probability but consequences can get up there.

I think the marriage is already ruined if hes considering cheating on his wife, Most marriages are a mistake anyway.

And you still can be canned for cause,sexual harassment is easy to fire for once evidence of an improper relationship is proven.

And this is no better than screwing a subordinate, if she says she felt obligated, you're done.

And then the wife uses this as evidence in her filing .

Very little upside.

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So you want us to help you cheat on your wife? Wow man

Since you seem willing to however, what is so bad about just asking her to hang out sometime?

All,

Appreciate the responses and tbh even though I thought I had decided you all are talking some sense.

My wife and I are married for financial reasons as neither of us believe in marriage. I've often expressed my disdain for monogamy and while my wife understands and possibly expects me to cheat I haven't yet and I think it would hurt her a lot if I did although she wouldn't leave me. I would be trying not to get caught so it's not like we're open.

I'm actually surprised how compelled I am here, I've taught this class for years and lots of girls have had crushes but it never bothered me. Pretty happy with my marriage and am not seeking to cheat.

Won't pursue this one, but to be honest if it falls in my lap- that is, in the unlikely event she initiates it- well, I'm probably losing that battle.

I appreciate the responses and think maybe you guys said what I really wanted you to say. I'll bow out and let you guys resume asking out girls. I Am jealous though.