it's not just me and her hanging out. it's a whole group of us. we're all finishing an exam and getting drunk. it would be very weird for me not to go out.

the quality of sex was definitely not the issue. there's much more at play here than that.

Young People,

There has been a discussion of smoking alcohol being the new trend amount students. Has anyone seen this happen?

The reason I ask is when I was a student the "trend" was injecting alcohol yet it was completely fabricated by the media. Likewise Rainbow Parties also a media creation.

The better looking guys have a big advantage so as a group they would do better but you make it sound like guys who are rank less on the physical can't make it up with other characteristics which is simply wrong. I've hit on the same girls as much better looking guys and the girl ended up going home with me.

Some guys yes. Guys are broken down into two categories -- the type that will lower their standards as they drink and as it gets closer to last call and guys who won't. I'm a big supporter of the latter but I know a lot of guys who if they don't have good prospects with 45 minutes to last call they will change venues and go to a cougar bar. I'm not sure what you point is -- yes if you are going to be mediocre than being a mediocre chick is better than being a mediocre guy. This is of no value to discussing dating dynamics for non-losers.

The problem is that you are extrapolating from your experience to generalize to the group of men as a whole. That isn't acceptable since if we assume you are not a troll you have serious issues that will make you underperform.

Not true.

If you believe in evolutionary psychology as applying to complex behaviour such as dating then you need to forget everything you think you know.

in that case of course go out but i would say don't sleep with her.

Henry,

Did you scan those articles? You truly believe that women are as easy to give up/get sex as men? Men are far more likely to give up sex to more women due to their tendencies and because of society. Society punishes women that sleep around. It praises men that bed many women.

It gets tossed around all the time that for men dating and sex is a "numbers game."

Why is that? It clearly is because men are after sex with a ton of women and they have to keep trying until they find the one that will give it to them.

If it's such a numbers game it implies women are less likely to give up sex to random guys.

So go but don't pay her any special attention (likewise don't ignore her). Just treat her like anyone else. If there is any attractive girls there pay extra attention to them. Lastly, if you can try to angle things so you can end up showcasing something your exceptional at.

I also think this is a factor. I don't think you can really judge how good it was or not for her. Most guys greatly overestimate how good they are in bed.

The second factor is the constant contact and the clear imbalance in power. If you want this girl to be interested you have to fix the power imbalance.

i will def sleep with her if she wants to. what i wont do is go to her place, or have her come to mine, to just sleep in the same bed together.

typical procedure before was at the end of the night we'd just end up together and go to one of our places. probably half the times i'd try to hook up with her and she'd say no. obviously that changed last week.

if it's the end of the night, i will probably just say i'm going home. if she's insistent on hanging out, i'll tell her i'm not interested in just cuddling. take it from there.

def want to pay extra attention to attractive girls there. that's the ideal situation.

i think in a lot of cases it is a factor. here i don't think it is. she even told me i was really good, and she felt bad because i didn't come.

and ya, the power imbalance is terrible. working on fixing that.

isn't that also known as "Caribou Lou"?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gO3aqp4_yCk

i'm actually debating bringing another girl out. i have a few that would come. not sure if that's the best move though.

edit: oh and she wants a ride to the exam on tuesday. it's probably 10 mins out of my way. may just have to deny that one.

No. 99.9% of that **** is garbage so not worth reading.

Belief has nothing to do with it. It is a fact. Dynamics are different based on location so I am willing to accept that there might be small pockets where this is not the case but in any city I have lived in this has been the case.

Do you live in a small town in the bible belt?

No. People who toss around that term tend to be PUA scams. The reason they do it is to prolong the scam. Treating dating as a numbers game will limit you to subpar girls.

TommyTrash, I think the problem is you have no game and don't know how to talk to the opposite sex so you use your looks as an excuse. Stop focusing on your looks and start focusing on other things that will make you stand out from your competition. I would say im an average/slightly above looking guy and I've banged a 8 before so you are definitely wrong. I also have options with girls that are 7s+ (Believe it or not haters). Dont get me wrong looks does matter but it isn't the be all end all. If i was taller and better looking i would obviously have more success with women but there is no point always focusing on what you cant control.

idk I guess it's different with different people but if I'm on the computer and someone messages me I think it's rude not to respond. Maybe take a little bit of time but not straight up ignore them.

Yea, but don't you look like a super saiyan?



Cute chick in my class asked to be partners on a project coming up. It probably has something to do with 90% of the class being borderline ******ed but whatevs. Gonna try to do some work and then go out to a bar or somewhere (but I need a new fake so its going to be some ****ty club.) I'm all about these accelerated summer classes makes everything go way quicker.

especially with certain messaging systems when they can see if you read the message. eg. bbm/facebook/whatsapp (can see last online, not if read - but same diff)

altho it is a bit of a power move to read it, and not respond. usually though, i just let it sit there for a period of time, then i read it and respond.

Ugh!!! what is with this girl. i don't know how she can be so insistent on being friends when i've made it abundantly clear i want to be banging and that we should be banging.

basically last night it was me telling her for at least half an hour we should be banging while rubbing dangerously close to her nether region. if either of my hands were an inch closer they'd either be on her breasts or vagina. she's ok with this level of contact, but doesn't want to do anything.
"no we're just friends, i don't want to risk ruining it"
- i do.
"that's not a very good friend thing to say"
- well we're not going to ruin it to begin with. we'll just have fun. i'd say what we're doing/not doing now is more of risk to ruin it.
"no we can't"

anyways, that was the situation last night, and many other nights, and now she wants to study together at my place.

like get effed. if you want to come study here we're taking intermittent study breaks to bang.

(1) That is precisely my point. Your attractiveness to a particular female is an extremely complex function that TT keeps trying to act like is 2-dimensional.

(2) GL, should be a very good opportunity at the very least to hang out outside of class since you will now be in the habit of contacting her.

I agree it is rude to not respond. Solution is don't use online chat software. Set FB to no chat.

I noticed recently even FB messages now report when they have been read. Since There might be a way to disable that but I haven't looked. On my FB I get a pop up message over the Windows clock when I get a message and I can read it without setting off the message has been read timestamp. Failing that just don't read the message for a while. It isn't likely to be time critical.

ya on my phone i can read the first few lines of any of the above mentioned messages without actually 'reading' it. so if it doesn't appear in need of an immediate response, i don't actually read it.

eg. this girl messaged me now asking if we should study together. get real.

I was in a car accident recently and my smartphone broke so now I'm grinding the flip phone game. I usually just own it when people call me out for using it but do you guys think a girl is likely to look down on that type of thing? Everyone I know who owns a smartphone, save a select few, had their parents buy it/on their parents plan but it seems to be the norm to own one now a days. Should I make the investment to buy one? Keep in mind I make 9.50/hour and need to spend ~5k on school this summer but I could afford one if I sacrifice other things.

I mean if you want a smart phone def get one again, I would buy another one if I could just because they are so convenient and make life so easy, but don't buy one just because you feel the need to impress girls.

I'm not in any sports leagues right now but I have considered them before I just seem to have resistance to joining social type things for a number of different reasons.

I mean they're awesome and I loved having one but they're all just super expensive and I don't have an upgrade until October. I think I'm gonna look on Craigslist.

Can't you get one for free by committing to being with a specific mobile company for 3-4 years? --Edit. Wait until Oct. No point spending $500 on something now

I think having a **** phone is a factor. It signals a lack of resources. How important that is depends on your scene.


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I buy my phones because I like to have phones no one else has which isn't the smartest idea sometimes (Maemo 5 as a phone o/s while quite impressive to the computer nerd in me has zero apps).

Unique phones were useful when I was single. Unique things are instant openings for girls to initiate conversations but cool phones are expensive and even more so since they usually need to be imported. Not worth it if you make that little per hour.

pick up move i saw at the bar the other day...

dude intentionally drops his crap blackberry on the ground in front of a girl. pretends not to notice. girl picks it up and tells him he dropped it. conversation initiated.

not sure how it progressed after that.

Henry,

What do you mean by "power imbalance"? In this case is it her control of the relationship status i.e. "just friends"?

I imagine paying less attention is how he would do that?

i think im going to join an improv class soon. seems like a fun way to get out some creative energy i cant ever use at work and will likely put me in touch with some cute outgoing girls. will report back when i get around to it.