oooooppppssss.

my bad.

Well if we are objects for their entertainment then why shouldn't they be ours? Anyhow...

I guess I should just go back and read a little more because if she did actually try and hang out with him after what happened here and they did SUCCESSFULLY hang out then maybe some of what I said could be wrong.

Like I said.

Move on.

You blew it with this one and don't have a shot.

Save your energy for others.

MEET THE POSSIBILITY OF A CHALLENGE WITH A GIRL

RUN AWAY RUN AWAY RUN AWAY

DONT WANT TO GET MY FEELINGS HURT!

dude. gimme a break. He has already stated how she loves flirting with a whole bunch of guys and thats just her nature. Is this really the girl he wants?

Ok so here it goes. He is up for the challenge. He is gonna get this girl. He ****ing works his ass off jumping through hoops for her. And he wins her over and they are now dating.

Now he is totally in love with her, and she may even be in love with him. But he still has to sit there and watch her flirt with other guys all the time. Doesn't sound like a situation I would want to put myself in.

You have very clearly been burned by women way too many times in your life. You need to step back and reevaluate your own experiences and feelings before trying to advise other people.

The bitterness of your last paragraph makes it clear this has probably happened to you. However, that does not mean it will happen to everyone. You are basically advocating never taking a chance with a girl if there's a chance down the line that he gets hurt. That's sad.

If the specter of your girlfriend potentially flirting with someone else while you are in a relationship bothers you, you are in for a huge shock when you get into a serious relationship. All women flirt and will continue to relationship or not. The same goes for men. It's a natural part of human interaction. Learn to deal with it or you are going to have serious jealousy issues for a long time.

i think its awesome when my GF flirts with other guys because I get to see what massive fails they are and I get to crush their souls when I sweep in for a kiss once in awhile.

also, if I wasn't allowed to flirt with other girls because I have a gf im pretty sure I wouldnt have that person as my gf. my natural interactions are flirtatious.

Alright, alright you caught me.

I'm at the tail end of this relationship with a sociopath(pretty positive about this one). At the beginning of the relationship with her(the first time) I was all about the challenge. I feel in love with this psychopath at first sight(greatest tits Ive ever seen, 18, platinum, size 0, did a bunch of drugs, what I thought was my dream girl basically). She had a bf at the time and I won her from him.

She made me think I was super cool at first and gave me all the confidence in the world. She was down for whatever I wanted and was just the perfect girl. Everything I wanted.

Then we were together. She ****ing turned into this totally different person immediately. But since I was already in love with her I was able to put up with all her control and jealousy and manipulation and using and purposefully trying to hurt me more than anyone ever could.

Once I finally got away I thought i was free. Nope. I ****ed up my next relationship with the girl I actually wanted and was really in love with(she loved me back, didnt just stockholm syndrome/sociopathically turn me into her slave) and was in love with me because she has changed me so much i actually went back to her.

I just want everyone to be cautious of who they start to fall for because if once you are theirs they totally change and you dont feel like you can do anything right and never please them. Get the **** out.

Youll never make them happy and therefore you will never be happy.

Thats why I suggest getting the girls to want you so that you know they do, also they like the challenge sometimes as well(if they aren't a sociopath) and honestly...dont you want to **** as many girls as you can before you actually settle dow?

see yeah thats cool. And thats why what I said seemed so bitter and jealous. Is that the girl im getting away from right now had so much control over me that I stopped flirting with girls completely or talking to them really just to avoid any drama with my gf that when i would see her flirting with other guys it would just piss me off because I wasnt doing it.

so basically yeah i just did have a really ****ed up person controlling my life and right now im trying to move on.

the last 5-6 posts are kind of funny in their own way.

What on earth? No. No. No.

I've known this girl less than a month. There's nothing even resembling being in love with her at this point, nor vice-versa I'm quite sure. It would be ****ing weird if there was.

Why shouldn't she flirt with other guys besides me? She's single. She's having fun. I flirt with tons of girls. Some I'm interested in, some I'm not at all. There's nothing wrong with any of this, the interactions are fun either way. She happens to be one I'd be interested in possibly pursuing; maybe she'd be into it, maybe she wouldn't. Time will tell.

I "blew it" with this one? I don't even know where you got any of this. This is all kinds of crazy though.

havent been on here for like 3 months cause ive spent all the time loading up for tomorrow, going to a houseparty splitting a 75cl vodka with an absolutely stunning girl. possible future prospect.ONE TIME PLZ

Yea that's a good point. Its very risk-reward based, in the 95% case, odds are you are just going to ruin the friendship or at least change the dynamic which can lead to negative consequences for you.

If she has not shown any inclination towards wanting to be "more than friends" then odds are expressing your interest is not going work and you are just going to embarrass yourself. Much more importantly though, you might lose the possibility of leveraging your relationship with her when it comes to interacting with other girls (her friends etc..).

Its tough, cause its pretty situational based, but to be successful in picking up girls you need to differentiate yourself in a positive way, and falling into that "smarmasaur" group is a sure recipe for failure.

That being said, there is definitely a time and place when confessing your intentions can help.

I think a lot of sociable guys and girls have this quality. Not necessarily flirting with the intent to do anything, but just being funny, endearing and generally a good time to hang out with. I know that I am like that, and have been in a couple relationships where 1) it was not cool to be like that (from her perspective) and 2) where she was like that but it was fine because we both trusted each other. The latter was a much better and happier relationship.

****ty man, but at the end of the day I think that everyone wants to end up in a relationship where their is some sort of reciprocal admiration (you really like spending time with her - she really likes spending time with you) going on. She was clearly not a good person to be around, and used you. You shouldn't let that jade you on the entire female population.

watttttttttttttt

Source, I believe you have sexually transmitted crazy mouth.

LKJ, you're fine. I don't think anything here is out of the ordinary. She doesn't love you yet, but you know, that's kind of normal.

ya, gigantic lol

No, it's not a lol. Tell me: what is the difference between the "friend zone" and a girl not being attracted to you?

I'll expound more later, but I want you to reply to that question first.

Source: how old are you?

Also, as much as your posts frustrated me at first, I do give you props for coming clean.

Well, typical wisdom is that when you are friend zoned, the girl may have been semi-attracted to you in the past and been open to going out with you, but by taking too long to make a move she decided she'd rather be friends w/ you and ta da, you're cooked w/ her

24

Do you guys honestly think women have some point of no return where they no longer consider you a potential mate? I mean, really?

It's a cop out excuse for people who either a) don't want to admit they simply weren't good enough for her or b) are looking for excuses to get out of certain behavior or talk their way out of pursuing a girl.

OH WELL IM IN THE FRIEND ZONE NOW BETTER GIVE UP

or WELL I CANT GO OUT WITH HER TONIGHT OR ILL GET FRIEND ZONED!!!

or CANT TALK ABOUT MY FEELINGS OR LET HER GET TO KNOW ME CAUSE ILL GET FRIEND ZONED!!! NEED TO APPEAR TO BE A WALL OF UNTAMEABLE SEXUAL LUST AND MASCULINITY

The last 2 points have some credence, but guys take them too far. "He just treated me like **** after our first few dates" is something I hear from chicks a lot. You need to be firm, leading and aloof, but you can't be a complete *******. Only chicks with low-self esteem will dig that.

The friend zone is another way of saying "I appear asexual to a girl." Is it possible to recover from that? Absolutely. Is it difficult? Of course. People also use the term when it's obvious a girl simply doesn't find them attractive or sees them as completely passive and a complete wuss. They just want to soften the blow to their fragile egos. It's probably a lot better to be (tactfully and not brutally) honest with yourself.

My first serious relationship: we were just "best friends" for 6 months with really no intimacy and then started dating. Dated for 3.5 years.

My second (and most) serious relationship: I was her shoulder to cry on and bitch to about her ****ty boyfriend for a year. She used to tell me all the time how she loved him, how she couldn't imagine being with anyone but him, how she wanted to marry him. I sat there and talked to her about it and was her therapist for it for nearly a year. She led me on and played games with me. Would you guys think I had any chance in hell?

I changed course with my behavior. I started being more firm, masculine and showed interest in other girls. She dumped him for me within a week. The friend zone is a joke. If I applied the friend zone concept I would have bailed. Of course I should have done this WELL before a year, but I had to learn. The day I finally made a move on her she actually said to me, verbatim, "This is what I've wanted you to do for the last 12 months. Why did it take so long?"

Now this relationship (at least at the end) was a disaster, but we needed other context clues to figure that out. The interaction above alone is not enough.

A girl end of last summer invited me to visit her. We've been "best buds" since middle school. She tells me all the time how I'm "like a brother" to her. We hooked up. It wasn't very difficult to change gears when I wanted to.

All in all, LJBF just means: "I'm not attracted to you, but you are a nice person!"

Haha, I had a girl pretty well love me after this period of time and it freaked me out. I would have considered giving her a chance, and in fact already had thoughts to this effect, but after I heard that she was going around to all of our fellow co-workers telling them that I was the "perfect man for her," and other similarly overt comments, I just said, "WTF" and kept as much distance as I could from her. That just screamed "crazier than even the average girl" to me.

I know I'm fine here, I just couldn't let that post of his go unanswered since it painted me out to be ridiculous.