You're gonna laugh Vin. She left me to go back to her ex, who she's with now. On the surface of it, she's off the wall crazy. However I can justify some of her craziness and also explain how I ****ed up too. But I'm not gonna do it in a public thread.


Would a pm to be pasted into skype chat / an invite to skype chat to explain this situation a bit better help for you fellas to give me some advice? Kinda need it from some people with more experience than I.

Edit: Heading out now, be back later on.

Is she objectively 'hot'?

Even if she leaves her boyfriend again temporarily who's to say she won't go back to him in the future? I've dealt with girls that tolerate abusive behavior and they cannot be saved.

She wasn't very religious fwiw, it was definitely more of an identity thing than a religion thing. Her parents were more religious than she was. She just knew she wanted to raise kids in a Jewish household, have a Jewish wedding, etc.

I think your stance is in the majority and it's understandable. I thought a lot about the same stuff and I'm not sure there's a correct answer one way or the other. I will say that good relationships ime are constantly composed of sacrifices, large and small, and she certainly sacrificed a lot to be with me (it obviously caused a lot of tension between her and her family). I can't say whether or not it was long-term viable.

It's probably also worth mentioning that when I said I'd be willing to consider conversion early in our relationship I had no idea if I was telling the truth or not. It took about 1.5 years together and me being fully certain I was very in love with the girl before I started to seriously consider it. And of course I never actually went through with it, maybe I never would have.

A. Men.

The one that I know personally *lives* with her on and off again bf in res ffs. Wonder how many times he's come home from macking all night to sweet talk his way into some action only to rinse and repeat the next night. Dude's livin the dream.

+1

Never dealt with but watched from the sidelines. It is the most ****ed up thing to watch but they can't be saved.

Yessir. She has the best ass I've ever seen in my life.

She wouldn't have been back with him this time only for some ****ty conditions not to mention my **** up. But I guess that's not to say those ****ty conditions couldn't come around again.

I don't get it. Her parents hate the bf, her sisters hate him, all her female friends hate him, me and the other one other male that she knows half decently hate him (for obvious reaons - we can't talk to her without risking her bf going off on her).

She left him before because of his abusive behaviour, then when they got back together the first 3 months were over the summer, when frankly she wasn't going out partying or anything (not that many friends, usually only goes out with college friends). So it was basically her and her bf, so the bf was happy and didn't go off on her at all hardly. But now last 2 months back in college and he's off again. Same way she left him last time, if it's gonna happen it'll be over the christmas break.

She's rebelious though. When I seen her 2 weeks ago me and her other male friend were there and she text me later saying her bf had gone off on her ... because she was out with us, just talking and dancing. She puts up with it for a while, but eventually cracks, is the way I see it.

To my mind, and in everyone elses opinion it will end soon. She left him because of it before, then she gave him a second chance. Was fine for the first 3 or 4 months through their "honeymoon period" so in my opinion if it's to happen it will happen over this partying season.

If she doesn't leave him. I'd be shocked. It defies not only common logic, but also her logic on which she made the decision to leave him last time


.........


Anyway, she didn't reply. Don't have a clue why, could be that the bf seen the text although idk.


Advice for when I see her on Thursday? Thinking I'll just act as if she doesn't wanna talk and that's fine. And if she talks to me about it I'll just ask her outright what's going on. Kinda sick of this.

Understandable. Those of us not (yet, ideally) in a financial context which allows us to pull rockets on the reg are often, innocently victim to the whims on which crazy bitches live.

Good luck dude.

Ha, fair point.

Thanks. I expected more mocking from the thread ... mighta helped me to get some sense! Although I doubt it.

Thursday should be interesting. I hope the bf is there, that should create some nice awkward situations. Also the chance of him trying to physically assault me is pretty present, which would mean I could finally give him what he's got coming.

I mean seriously though a woman's ass is probably on of the most important things about them.

"If you ain't got no ass bitch wear a poncho" imo

I'm sure her boyfriend has done way worse than your "**** up" and she is still with him. She missed something about their relationship - the sex, familiarity, having a project to fix, etc. She's back with him because she wanted to be not because you ****ed up.

Why would you be shocked if she doesn't leave him? She defies common logic every day she is with him. He is abusive, and all her friends and family dislike him - yet she continues the relationship despite all this. I'd be shocked if she DID leave him, not the opposite. Not to mention even if she does she is likely to get back with him again, just like the last time.


Actual advice is don't engage her. If you run into her say hello and be cordial the same way you would treat an acquaintance you haven't seen in a while. Short small talk and move on.

I know no one actually follows advice though, so w/e. As I said earlier you can't fix this girl so don't bother trying.

Jasonsc,

there is only one reason why you want to get back in contact with her:
You are currently frustrated, have minimal success with other girls and think she is a sure gig.

The later is definitely not the case.

IIRC, you live in scandinavia (correct me if I am wrong) and it's getting darker every day and you feel kinda lonely. But, she isnt the one you should be chasing, she is trouble.

But this is almost always the case, sadly.

Saved is an interesting word, as a girl of this type explained to me that she thought she could save HIM and that's what brought her back or even attracted her to that type of guy in the first place.

All points were well made, and I appreciate them.

Anyone who has given me advice, here or IRL doesn't really know this girls backstory. Is she crazy? I'm not sure crazy is the right word ... but she has some issues. She's not your run of the mill crazy bitch I don't think. I never dug deep enough about her past, but I think that's what's causing this. I kinda feel sorry for her to be honest.

Point being, I just can't believe shes totally crazy unless I can suss it our for myself. On the face of it yes, completely crazy. But I really think that the real her isn't. Her personal and family values coupled with her past just weigh too heavily against it.

That being said, maybe she is crazy. Our relationship wasn't long. That's why I'm seeking this closure ... If she's crazy, well that's closure because I'll be running as far the **** away as I can. And if she's not crazy, then her relationship won't last indefinitely.

Mullen yea I agree, it was more their situation than my **** up though.

Every single Christmas present my girlfriend got me was an item of clothing or some sort of accessory. **** off and get me something I actually want.

Dress better and maybe she will

bitch christmas ain't fo 5 more days

lol at being concerned with what your gf gets you for xmas.

(hint: buy it yourself)

I actually didn't really want anything for Christmas. My grandma and a couple other family members asked what I wanted and I couldn't come up with anything besides clothes or money. I finally came up with the ESPN 30 for 30 series on DVD but that took me awhile.

BTW if you don't want clothes for Christmas you should probably tell her that before she gets you stuff. I hope you haven't exhibited any passive aggressive behavior indicating you didn't want the clothes.

Getting clothes does suck, especially because people that do get them are also often the same people that would ask why you are not wearing them. I have a lot of trouble coming up with what I want when asked too, because I've really picky about anything useful. mullen's idea is a great one, I watched the Escobar documentary and it was excellent.

Seriously, just stop all contact with this girl immediately. You are occupying too much of your time on a lost cause, which can only end up hurting you in the future. Just forget about her and stop engaging her if she initiates contact.

Your closure should be knowing that she is crazy, and that you don't want to be in a relationship with a girl that has serious problems.

clothing is the nut worst gift to give or receive. last year my aunt (bless her heart) gave me an ed hardy shirt. why not just give me 50 bucks to spend on clothing that doesn't make me look like a douchenozzle.

Clothing is a fine gift as long as you communicate to the person specifically what you want or have a family member/gf who knows the kind of clothes you wear purchase it. Obviously getting an Ed Hardy shirt or some wool sweater you'll never wear sucks but I've gotten some great clothing gifts the last couple years.

I just don't need anything any more. When I was younger I always wanted lots of stuff but I just can't think of anything as I'm getting older. Im also of the opinion that money or gift cards is a pretty lame gift for immediate family members or a girlfriend.