[QUOTE=LKJ;16924391]This is so true. If they're that desperate to maul you, you get to name the conditions right?



+1. Could not get through that part without squirming uncomfortably in my chair. And I thought it said an hour and a half on first read, not a half hour. Bad either way, but the half hour thing is...wow.

QUOTE]

just checked my phone, and it was an hour. Not that it really mathers. But i think my best plan of action is to text her on friday evening/night.

And just ask something in the lines of: hey .... do you already have plans for saturday? or do you want to get together?

should i text something else or just that?

soooo...

tuts what happened?.

Karak, being that a lot of the time it's just you along with the group of girls (ladies lunch, etc.) , how are you not filling the role of their gbf? Not trying to criticze, you just seem to be spending way too much time on the friends side of the equation for this.

Hooking up with them helps.

Also, your post exemplifies a patent misunderstanding/cop-out men often attribute to women.

Guys who get "friend zoned" (which is a fake term just made up to make people who get flat out rejected feel better), they ask themselves why?

Well, I spent a lot of time talking to them, being nice and hanging out with them... that must be why!

Because, obviously, causation = correlation!

Or is it because you were subservient, offensive, passive, wussy, asexual, unattractive, boring or stupid?

Or maybe just plain incompatible?

There is one girl I am "friend zoned" with, and that is D. Why am I friend zoned with D? Because I choose to be. Could I hook up with her again if I wanted to? Almost certainly. But doesn't she have a boyfriend-ish now? Wouldn't even matter. Would I do this? Hell no. It would be unfair to her and a huge dick move by me. So I wouldn't even consider it. That's over, and I am staying out of her way relationship wise.

B I am certainly not friend zoned with. C obviously I'm not, but that's over with. A who cares.

Let me think of the 3 closest female friends I have in life... yep... all 3 of them started as romantic/sexual relationships.

Sorry for the triple post, but the edit function is acting weird.

Also, why is being friends with women so bad? I go out to lunch with 3 girls I'm "just a friend" with... so? I happen to enjoy being around women. C even said to me one time, "You just connect with girls. You understand them better than most men, so you like being around them and they like being around you. You know how to and like talking to them."

That doesn't make me gay. I end up romantically involved with a lot of them. I really like keeping a close circle of (platonic usually) female friends. Not only are women better to talk to about emotional issues (ygos I know), but they are generally more nurturing and maintain more of a "2 way street" friendship. Guys can be relationship-stupid (meaning a social friend relationship) or looking out for #1 (themselves) always. Women are also looking out for #1, but the way women often feel fulfilled is helping other people. I'm the same way honestly. That's why I like giving advice and listening to my friends problems and trying to help people. It maximizes my personal utility.

That's not to say I'm not friends with guys. No, not at all. Most of my close friends are men. There are also plenty of men out there who genuinely care about each others problems. It is not gay to go to a guy friend about an emotional problem. The whole idea that men have to be tough and can't show weakness to each other is ingrained in our skulls for a reason, but that reason is long gone in MOST contexts.

In addition, talking to and interacting with women often makes me better at... talking to and interacting with women. Talking to a new girl isn't awkward or weird, because I guarantee one of my friends has similar communication habits and personality traits, and I already know how to connect with her (or, contrarily, I can figure out quickly that I DON'T connect and bail).

...and women have other friends, who are often hot

Bingo. Can't believe I forgot to mention that. I can't tell you how many girls I've gotten involved with by meeting them through a mutual female friend. A mutual female friend introducing you to a girl instantly dispels 28348234 of the concerns women have about guys.

"Well, he can't be creepy because X is friends with him. And he's probably not a user otherwise X wouldn't have introduced us. And he must be smart and funny, or X wouldn't hang out with him."

As opposed to cold approaching a girl or being introduced by a guy friend:

"Weird, he needs his guy friends to help him meet girls? He's probably a creep." (obviously there are some guy friends where being introduced can help. For example if D were single and I told her she should pursue a guy, she'd probably trust my judgment because she knows I'm a huge cynic and like to investigate people's personality traits fully... and I'd never set her up with a known creep)

These are issues which obviously fall under the doctrines of "social proofing."

totally true. I try to befriend average girls or any girls just to try and meet the hotter ones. Easier for me to meet and talk to average random girls, and sometimes i even start to like the averge random girl.

Its odd how I can sort of relate to karak in that I'm probably friends with a lot more girls than boys. Unfortunately about 90% of them have long term boyfriends after I've invested time talking to them and they always seem to befriend me. Not that I don't mind having female friends


Rungood tomorrow one time. I need it a lot more than anyone would suspect.

afaik karak you have yet to hook up with either A or B and i cant remember if you said you did with C or not.

so far they are driving you crazy and you still havent gotten any with either of them, despite multiple times you saying that this is the weekend or its over.


obv im rooting for you but your post had so much superiority in it that i had to take you down a peg

My post largely wasn't referring to A and B. It's referring to other girls who I think you know.

But I have hooked up with C and D, thanks.

how is this different than any other time

which reminds me, maybe i lay it on too thick with B sometimes lol

conversation i had with B today

B: "Hey karak!!! your tie is so awesome let me see it" and of course she's twirling my tie

so then we talk about my interview and she says "im sure you'll get the job"
me: "i dont know. there's a lot of competition."
B: "but you're brilliant! they have to take you."
me: "I know I'm brilliant, but that doesn't mean they'll take me."
B: "but you're brilliant AND likeable"
me: "true, but it will still be hard"
B: "oh you are so modest"
me: "you forgot handsome. im brilliant, likable and handsome. maybe you're right... I will get the job!"

then D and I walk away to go to our cars. D: "think you can make it through the door?"

It was thicker than usual.

Essentially, I agreed with most of what you said, but didn't want to post that much because your tone was just irritating.

being accused of being a "gbf" annoyed me

especially since he thinly veiled it

Haha, it helps me understand now that you compelled me to Google WTF that even stands for.

I still totally understand yeota's post, but I get your irritation more now.

is this bad?

B just emailed me offering to hang out with her and her friend tonight then go out to a bar

but im sitting here on the couch quite comfortable and im tired and i just want to watch movies and go to bed

coffee i guess

too many TVB not enough actions

ahaha i like her

Here's a question I had meant to ask last weekend, but it will apply tonight too since the place I'm going to is more club than bar.

I generally will do it and avoid looking or feeling self-conscious by telling myself that people probably don't really care as long as you're going for it and look like you're having a good time...however, I'm pretty sure that I'm flat-out terrible.

If you're a horrible ****ing dancer, are you better off just being a good sport and dancing, or sticking to the outskirts of the room and mostly avoiding it?

just ****ing go for it

sticking to the sides and half-assing it makes you look dumb

alcohol is very helpful in this situation

FYP.

There's almost no way of getting me to dance without alcohol. And if I did, I would look and feel self-conscious, and option (C) of "dance, but look really embarrassed and awkward the whole time" is of course the worst option of all.

Anyway, fair enough, I agree with you and that's been my general play.

Alcohol and watch Hitch.

Also LOL @ the idiots assuming that because you are friends with girls you are immediately their gbf. That's the most ******ed thing I've ever heard.

Honestly, one of the most valuable types of friends you can have IMO is being good friends with a girl but still acting in a way where she'd hook up with you if you wanted. Girls will never make this move, so it gives you the power too.

Along the lines of what Karak said, Winghoes >>>>> Wingbros.

I can see where this would be the case if your wingho is vouching for you to girls that know her...but is this really the case if you're trying to work a venue full of randoms?

abso-****ing-lutely and it's not even remotely close