Part II was better than part I and I really thought something was gonna happen with the one girl. Hoping you luck out in part III

Seriously, you weren't sure whether to keep going?

Also regarding part two, and the friends, I would of made a comment to the girl like

"Yea sorry, didnt mean to keep you out past your bedtime"[Than go in for a hug/kiss, wherever you were at that point in interactions, she will prob defend with "Its not my bedtime!", to which you can say "I am not the one you need to convince"] or something, try to get her to stand up to her friends. It did seem liek she wanted to hang with you, but it didnt seem like she was vocalizing this to her friends, so instead of the ordinary talk to friends to diffuse, on the second time I would of tried making a backhand comment to her in hopes she realizes, well I do have a BF, but this is what I want now.

that's what she said

[deleted by GCG's request since it contained info from the super sekrit TR]

Yo yo, alright so gonna post some of texts I've been sending this girl to see if I'm on right track. She seems to be pretty responsive/friendly, but I know I've made a few mistakes.

So after not texting for 5 or 6 days I open with:

IaiH- Hey, finally able to catch my breath, been super busy. What are you up to this weekend?

Blonde Hostess (BH): Hey I'm out of town for work till Sat so haven't made plans yet, what about you?

IaiH: I'm hoping to get out on the water either Sat/Sun otherwise haven't made plans for 4th. We should get together for drinks/hang sometime soon.

BH: yeah definitely, what area of city do you live in?

---we exchange info few hours pass

IaiH: So what do you do when your not busy being an eye catching hostess by night?

BH: Haha. Right. I'm a sales rep for a lingerie company called "typical lingerie name." What about you? What do you do when your not moonlighting as valet stud?

--- here not sure what to say really other than boring truth. so I say student at such and such and valet. but then I'm thinking leaving something mysterious or interesting in there might be best so I go ahead and tell her I used to play poker full time until recent Guberment shutdown yada yada. Pretty big mistake here me thinks, should be more about her and less about me.

BH: Oh, interesting, do you not play regular poker?

--realize I need to change subject back to her

IaiH: How does one sell lingerie other than modeling it?

BH: That is such a guy comment! I'm doing blah blah, doing this next week, I definitely do not model it.

IaiH: Aww that's too bad, : ( Sounds like a good gig though

BH: Why does every guy I tell my job to ask me the same question!? Lol

IaiH: Hmmmm I guess our imaginations run wild...


What's your analysis? Haha can't believe I'm posting this ****.

Texting is easy, in person stuff that gets me.

FYP

Wow, this guy does need help.

Standard.

A little cheesy probably. Don't need to tell her you think she is good looking.

Mysterious element is definitely good. Make her find out instead of just laying it out on the table. Mentioning poker this early is a bad thing. Do not recommend doing that.


Good.

She liked that comment.

Then I see that comment and not really sure what to make of it.

You last comment could've been like "I dunno, why don't you ask Victoria?" (alluding to Victoria's Secret since how else do they sell their products?)


Seems pretty standard conversation. You didn't **** up (too badly) this time.

Really just need to be less boring and add that mystery element into the conversation. More teasing is good, too.

Never mention poker, I have a hard enough time trying to get by explaining why I have two monitors(although most girls are like "Why do you have two computers?") And a hard enough time deflecting questions about where I am working, but to volunteer that info...wtf

Exactly. IaiH, she doesn't care that you are a student, play poker, and valet. She doesn't want you to be so blunt.

haha that's not me at all, but funny nonetheless

didn't want to quote your whole break down but yeah thanks for advice

That's why I'm here... (npi)

yeah should have seen this coming kinda just responded without thinking it through

Theres also a lot of cheesy responses that can lighten the mood and get things going a little better when she asked about what else to do. I heard this classic one from a pua guy, which is pretty good[modified for your case]

"Ahh I rob banks, I am actually in need of a new gunman, can you shoot? I am the getaway driver and being valet lets me practice"

Waiting on part 3. Part 2 was better. Stop story teasing, just give it up already

gcg unless u too mad at me send me that TR plz

I think he wants to confine his bitterness to just me, so I think you're good to go.

Ain't even mad!

Sorry I'm not teasing **** just got to take care of some stuff and it does take a while to write. Part I and II were sent out as soon as they were done. Expect part III sometime later today, but have lots to do first.

You are going to the wrong clubs.

As someone who was drunk 1998-2006 I'm going to have to go with no on this one. Although you do become really good at teaching using the Socratic method -- passive entertainment when drunk is just as boring as when sober although you tend to fall asleep and then have weird dreams.

Getting laid is not the only reason people put effort into their appearance. This is a pretty minor example but I think it is illustrative of what I think is your problem. You approach dating and social interactions in what I'd describe as a very pragmatic way but social interactions are not like that.

Why not?

I have really let myself go. I have been very busy and I live in a city that is fashionably challenged -- having spent 3 weekends in a row in real cities really brought that into perspective so I have kicked it back into gear. I understand how easy it is to just let things slide because over the last year I fell into that trap myself but you can't allow it to happen -- thing is once you start putting effort in the process becomes easy and routine after a few months so you don't notice it.

Going to go read your TR now.


Poker can work for you but not when you also have another job like valet or anything in the service industry. I also think it worked a lot better when poker was played in backrooms and run by organized crime rather than online. I know giving girls a slight glimpse of that world worked well for me years ago but I'm not sure if they would be as impressed with dual Dell 3008s -- it just doesn't have the same impact.

I wouldn't go to this club if I were looking to hook up. It's awful for that. I go cause my friends go and the music is decent so it's a fun time.

That said, I'm not sure I've been to any clubs where the amount of people hooking up is much higher than that. Usually the great majority are groups of a few guys or a few girls, then some mixed groups, and then a very small minority of people making out in the corner.



I think it makes sense to minimize the amount of pointless stuff that one does. You and I surely have different ideas of what constitutes pointless. If I'm hanging out with another guy at one of our places and won't be seeing anyone else, and if he is wearing really nice clothes that are uncomfortable, putting effort into his hair and **** like that, then I'm going to think it's kind of weird, that he has some self-esteem issues and is overly concerned with his own self-image and too high in self-monitoring. He should just relax and have a good time. As we're friends, I'm not judging his appearance, especially not in a private space. That'd be exceedingly shallow. I already feel bad about how shallow I am as it is. If you consider that we're just highly evolved monkeys, all the **** we do to alter our appearance is just ridiculous. I'd like to at least rise above that when it's just me and another male friend.

Once you stop putting in that effort, the process stops looking so easy and routine, and you realize what a huge pain in the ass it was and how it was unnecessary.

I probably put in more effort into fashion and grooming than most guys do, but only when it matters - dating and work. I wish girls weren't shallow, but they are. I am too, so it's to be expected, and totally understandable. Among acquaintances that you see but don't know personally (i.e. colleagues) appearance also goes a long way in forming impressions. Once you're friends with someone, and if physical attraction isn't part of their allure (i.e. a male friend) then appearance shouldn't really matter.
Bout time.

LOL

Are you serious?
First of all, nice clothes are not uncomfortable. If they are for you, then you should buy fitting clothes.
Taking care of yourself has nothing to do with low self-esteem, it's about the impression you have on others and if you walk around like a bum, that's what people will think of you.

Btw, you were the guy talking about buying fake watches in the Style thread, this shows low self-esteem. Wearing nice, fitting clothes doesnt.

But this is irrelevant imo. Of course you dont get all dressed up just to watch a movie with your buddy. But the example was girls getting dressed up to go to a club. Just because they dont sleep with someone doesnt mean they cant look good. Some people might just want the ego boost.

Do you not dress up when you head out if you have a GF because there is no point because its a pointless activity because it wont affect your chances of getting laid holy rambling sentence batman?

Somewhat disagree. I bought a lot of my wardrobe in Melbourne where the fashion was skinny jeans, tight shirts, douchebaggy things like that. They were noticeably less comfortable than my casual wear. Now that I am in the states and its fashionable to wear non skin tight clothes, the difference isnt so much. I was under the impression that Europe was more like Melbourne?

Lol I basically have half my wardrobe just sitting on the floor in my closet as it is unwearable in the states

What's more comfortable for you, a hoodie or a slim fitting button up shirt? What's more comfortable, skinny jeans that hug your crotch, or loose fitting jeans? What's more convenient, running your fingers through your hair and not having gel all over them, or running your fingers through your hair and having gel all over them and going to wash your hands every time you need to touch your phone or the remote or food? If you were go to out hiking in the wilderness by yourself, what would you wear?

If a guy thinks I'm a bum cause I wear comfortable **** in the privacy of my home, then that's honestly not a guy I want to associate with much.

Just a way of deceiving girls that wanna see something shiny. End justifies the means, etc.

Fair point. I'm not taking issue with dressing nice. Fine, do your hair, put makeup on, wear clothes that are stylish and fit well, yes please do that. I always do this when in public, even if not interested in meeting girls. But I wouldn't go out wearing a skin tight tanktop and pants pulled down to reveal half my dick if I weren't trying to attract a girl. It's just strange to dress really slutty, have to keep pulling your dress down so your ass isn't exposed (that must be a real pita), have to keep stuffing your titties back into your shirt, and not have any interest in meeting a guy.

All of the above said, I'm not actually very interested in this debate, as I don't really care all that much. People will do what they do, I may find some of it a bit strange, but there is no objective right or wrong, it just is the way that it is.

Again you are thinking about things pragmatically. How things should be-- or how you think things should be-- neither matters. We could spend hours discussing why people behave the way they do and over a beer that might even be interesting but when it comes to succeeding at social interaction it simply doesn't matter. All that matters is that stupid or not there are certain actions that lead to results. Think of it this way if you could pick stocks / football games by throwing darts at a list and it worked would you care that it was stupid and that it shouldn't work or would you just do it and reap the profit?

With respect to your dichotomy between how you behave when going out and work vs friends I think you actually answered your own question. It is harder to maintain stuff if you don't have it as part of your routine. I am finding it very hard to get back into it but when I did it all the time I didn't even notice it. We both see this as a major effort now but two years ago I did it every day without noticing.

I also think there is definite slippery-slope argument here. It starts with just a few close friends and then expands. At first it is just when staying at home. Then well it is just the grocery store. I think it expands pretty fast.

Lastly, there is the fact that you have no idea how your day is going to go. A lot of my slacking has come about because I spend most of my day at Poker_Reference's business and if I go into the production area damaging clothing is a realistic possibility and I can't really afford to lose $400 pants on a regular basis. So yesterday I expected to see no one and so I went in unshaven and not dressed for public. An emergency related to my life-trolling required me to go visit a half-dozen businesses. Earlier this week I went to the ATM in my building and out from the steakhouse walks someone I haven't see since law school -- not the best impression to make. It is best to always be prepared because friends call and they are on a patio with more girls than they can handle -- if you are ready you can go and if not then you miss the opportunity.

First if that is the case you need to use less or better gel. I would suggest the Anthony Logistics gel. It doesn't make your hair feel like that **** from the drug store. Again due to slacking I've been using the drug store stuff for a month now and I don't like it.

The rest I see no difference. I don't see how a dress shirt or dress pants are any less comfortable than jeans. I am more comfortable in jeans if I am hiking or doing outdoors stuff where I can expect to get dirty and need clothing that can take a little more roughness but other than that I see any difference. On purely physical considerations dress pants made from good quality and light fabric are actually much more comfortable in the summer than jeans.

Don't get defensive. That is your view and fine but having behaved that way for a short period now I can tell you with certainty that I am at a major disadvantage to old-Henry.