ok dude

ive got nothing else to say on it. youre convinced, just like all the other times, that you are right and i am wrong.

ive bookmarked this page.

Karak, you're fine. Some girls aren't good with cell phone etiquette, or she might have been busy at work and fallen asleep when she got home. Yawn. Go on the date, have a ton of fun, and hold hands really aggressively at night.

And to the "lol ILM is getting married crowd"-- you're more right than I thought. Went to a wedding last night with gf (seriously, a wedding on a Thurs wtf?!) and we had a really good time. As usual, we go back to her apt and hang out for a little. Later she tells me "Is it weird that during the ceremony I was thinking that could be us at some point?"

And I run out the door as fast as I can.












But rly, it was cute. Quick? Yeah. But she's a 23 y/o girl whose friends are all getting engaged and our long-term potential is unreal. Unless she has some psychotic tendencies I don't know about yet, she could be right.

loool

seriously though, you guys are only dating short girls or non-athletes if 130 is anywhere close to a cut-off.

I mean honestly. What do you think a 5'8 girl with a flat stomach, nice ass, and d-cups weighs?

Likewise, what do you think a good 5'7 starter on a woman's college lax team weighs?

im honestly at a loss for words (i will now go on to type a lot of them, but it took me a while)

just to make sure we are clear:

based on the fact that she took 25 hours to answer my voicemail, the following things will occur:

-i will become infatuated with her
-i will get over-involved in a girl who is a trainwreck
-she will take advantage of me
-i will get emotionally devastated and waste my time
-overall, this will end badly.

all of this, because of a 24.5 hour delay in answering a voicemail. and, as a result, i should stay home by myself, because i am clearly too incompetent or stupid to read the situation.

you of all people should know the state i was in when all the ABCD/BG stuff was going on w/ regards to my ex-girlfriend. you also know that i thoroughly enjoyed a lot of the drama and wasn't truly soulcrushed by anything. i found it entertaining.

if your assessment of me is correct and because i, subjectively, am so incapable of controlling my emotions in this context that i cant approach any situation that has even the most marginal % chance of failure, i need to seek serious psychological help, and i need to seek it out immediately.

the odds of this, like all dating situations, not working out are incredibly high. ****, she could text me in the next 20 minutes "btw im a convicted murderer" and then i'd cancel cause that's a clear red flag to avoid. you are not right because this doesn't work out. in fact, im not sure what scenario you are right in, unless i lack the emotional control to conduct and end a normal adult, dating relationship.

.

and if youve convinced yourself that you werent crushed by the other situations, then maybe you do need psychological help, lol




and youre saying it yourself. you currently have nothing invested. youve made up your mind already, im not gonna try and stop you.

I'm really surprised at you. You know I wasn't crushed by those situations. Temporarily upset? Sure. That's like... how dating works. When you get rejected by a girl, it stings a bit. When you get rejected by a girl you really like, it stings even more. We're all big boys here and those are big boy things we need to face in life.

But crushed? lolno, I got over all of it fairly quickly. 2 weeks post-BG I was living in Las Vegas having the time of my life. I mean, you know that for a 100% fact. Are you just making things up now? (There was an incident earlier this week involving me and some of my friends, and at this point I simply assume yeotajmu has soured on me as a result, because he's simply spewing factually inaccurate things.)

w/ regards to the post you bolded, that's, again, pretty illogical of you. If I am applying warning signs of a 24.5 hour delay in answering a voicemail as the red flags to avoid the situations and make a good table selection, then I doubt I will ever find a girl again. I am not seeking out perfection. Can you explain to me why a 24.5 hour delay in answering a voicemail is indicative of a clear trainwreck situation that I MUST avoid? You of all people shouldn't be throwing stones from a glass house of being incapable of being sucked into a relationship black hole that is clearly an awful, awful situation. I'm not getting involved with a clear psychopath here. I don't even know the girl and it's just drinks. Keep in mind, we're referring to a very casual first date here, not a total involvement like the other girls.

wow, youre seriously gonna make me search gchat to find evidence of how crushed you were? ok.



youre being incredibly defensive. im not surprised, because once again, this is what happens every time. have fun on your date.

I don't know why you are acting this way, but I'm not going to have a public meltdown with a good friend on a forum. If I have done something to offend or upset you, please call me now so we can work it out. There's really no other explanation for why you are going to this extent.

Can anyone else help me out here? I mean, is there really something so blatantly obvious about a 24.5 hour delay in responding to a voicemail that I am going to get soulcrushed, destroyed and never recover? Am I missing something? Either Yeota is ****ing pissed at me for something unrelated, or I'm a slobbering idiot missing an obvious point.

What's up martilo. I just thought you should read a post that you yourself made recently.

aren't the benefits of going out with a ******ed girl are significantly reduced when you don't have premarital sex?

karak - neither, imo. just forget about it, you're both only getting upset because you're posting about it on the internet

Karak u are fine...**** happens and she seems excited so wtf is there to discuss?? Enjoy the date

Nah. I think yeota has an impulse that's somewhat correct and that he's blown it up to 1000 times its actual size.

I mean this seems so ****ing obvious, for sure, but what the hell is yeota stuck up on? I mean if he were any other poster, I wouldn't spend this much time trying to figure it out, but I am truly baffled right now. My only thought is I did something unrelated to this to piss him off.

Have you been slow to finish a game of flipcup recently?

I don't disagree that the impulse of "this is a warning sign" is absolutely correct. It's just, as you said, the impulse of "this is a warning sign you will cause a nuclear holocaust and end the lives of billions if you go on this date" that I am truly struggling with.

popcornnnnnnnnn

Ok, I'm glad to hear y'all say that. I was honestly starting to doubt myself and think I may be a moron who is completely missing something major here because he was so insistent about it. Like I said, any other poster I'd dismiss it, but I obviously value his opinion, which is why I am going to such lengths to try to make some sense of it.

im not pissed at you for anything else.


i, again, am just trying to caution you. idk what specifically about not returning your phone call means nuclear blowup, but ive already explained why i think that is a problem.


i know, that every time you get involved with a new girl, it takes the same progression. first, i can tell by the way you start talking about her, that you are already putting her on a pedestal somewhat, and you manage to find a way that makes her unique and distinguished compared to other girls. i am seeing this again.

then i caution you to not jump in too fast. you say you dont do that, its just a first date, im not even interested, she has a BF, etc.

then, some kind of warning sign comes up. im like uh dont you think that is strange/****ty/odd of her? you then make an excuse for the girl. i again caution you to not get too invested and put the girl on a pedestal too quickly, then you assure me that you wont.

soon after, after you are either more involved and are in denial, or are just more involved than she is, something else happens. whether she blows you off, gets reinvested in the BF, ****s another dude, etc, it tends to happen. this tends to hurt you because your personality is such that you like to be accepted and dont handle people not loving you super well, which is fine.

i remind you that i tried to tell you this at the beginning. that you were getting too invested and ahead of yourself, but you always make an excuse for the girl and apologize for her behavior. i dont think any of this is irrational.

the fact that this girl, which once again i can tell you are doing the same with thing wrt pedestal and uniqueness (hence the post i bumped), already has done something, which imo is ****ty (she choose consciously not to call you until she did. if she was truly excited she wouldnt have waited 27hrs and until you were sleeping to return a call and leave a message like that). this, again, imo, is a warning sign. perhaps it is a warning of how she perceives you (not a BF type/not looking/ not a big deal/ something casual), or perhaps it is because she is a ****ing ******, or something else. none of those are good.

and you can say "its just casual" like you have told me before, and ill tell you again, i dont think you are capable of keeping something just casual, whether that be hooking up "NSA" or casually dating. this is because, like all things in your life, you like to jump in and consume yourself with them (this is a positive for almost all aspects). with girls, i think you have a tendency to get ahead of yourself. im just trying to warn you, like always.


if everything goes well, then you know that 3 yrs from now at your wedding we will laugh about this and you can troll me about it. im rooting for you, as usual, i just want you to heed my warning, at least in the back of your mind.


im also just giving my opinion. i would drop the chick in this situation. i have nothing invested, and i wouldnt appreciate being on the hook like that, its bull****. you arent me. i do hope you have a good date, i just want you to keep everything in perspective.

Or maybe she was busy/forgot to call

too busy for a 5 second phone call? forgot about a first date that she should be looking forward to?

thats BS if you ask me.

also, once again, IMO, he could easily cancel on her because she took too long to respond and now hes "made new plans". this gives him back the power, and make it look like he is busy and popular. they could easily reschedule if she is interested in doing so, and like i said, she wont be flakey that time.

This I agree with.

There's a chance that there's a valid/viable reason for the delay, but a far greater chance that it was just bull****.

And if there's a valid reason, then a decent person leads with some form of, "Hey, sorry it took me so long to get back to you."

it would be privy to know if she is the type of girl to carry around a blackberry 24/7.

also, far too much analysis on this. What is it like 4 pages? sheesh. THAT's the part that is concerning

shes 22 or something i think. so of course she has her phone on her.