"When are you free to hang out?"

Let her pick the time. She's probably busy, you probably are too, etc, etc. You need to be flexible and plan ahead, etc etc. If she shuts you down here, which she probably won't, then you need to make a decision, but I mean, do the standard thing.

so i'm fairly sure my post is nullified as of now, we were supposed to hang out 3 hours ago and it seems she blew me off. obv cause it is halloween everyone i know is out at frat parties getting drunk and way too late to get on lists now, tonight is gonna suck

/emo

Don't worry about it. Tomorrow will have a ton more halloween parties. If she blew you off then she is not worth the time. Do not text her or anything, wait for her to say something. Go to a party tomorrow and get laid or at least flirt and get numbers.

how would you not expect this to happen, your asking a poker forum how to get girls

i dont think its desperate at all. I imagine people do it because they either want a title, or they just want to know where the other person stands. I just think that when you do things change.

When you ask people about dating versus being a couple they usually say there is a large discrepency between the two dont they? I just feel like when you ask, sometimes you make that leap when really neither of you are prepared for it. But i could be totally wrong and its definitely just an opinion of mine

Posting here instead of EDF because they don't understand situations about people younger than 35.

So I met a girl at a party last night (European Pop Star costume ftw) and she's absolutely adorable. We're talking for a bit initially and having a great time, when one of my good mates comes and cockblocks me on purpose. (He later tells me he's been trying to set something up with her even though he has a gf).

Well **** that. So I "accidentally" run into her when I go to get another drink. We start talking again and it goes fantastic. Other than not being foreign she's got just about everything else. As the party winds down a little she asks me for my number which I'm tempted to snapcall but play it cool.

So here's my question. Since she's not really connected to my group of friends I'd rather do something other than "hey are you going to XYZ's tonight? cool see you there". I have two lines

(1) Just bring her to some party
(2) Do something else

Frankly I'd rather do something else. She's also a musician (although not the like emo/weird type fortunately) so if there were any decent concerts coming up that would be the clear answer. Would asking her if she wants to play together some time be weird?

First off no, asking her to play sometime is not weird at all.

If you decided to go with option 1, instead of saying "cya there" you could try "Hey well do you need a ride?". That way you are taking here there, so you get to spend some time and get the flirting in and ahead of any guy that will try and hit on her while at the party.

If you go with option 2, well I think you idea is pretty good. Just make sure you can at least play an instrument. Jam sessions are always fun. Like I said make sure you can play, if not oh well it won't kill your chances. Also if you can find out a song that she finds romantic or is trying to learn or her favorite song at the moment, then try and learn it. This will increase your chances of getting some during the jam session. Also depending on the mood is when you are jamming, sit close to her I mean not freakishly close, but close enough where if everything goes right you can lean in and kiss her.

alright, well i of course continue to be ridiculously confused by the situation. we were supposed to meet at around 8pm, she calls me at midnight. we hang out at her apartment, decide to try to make a chariot out of a bike, a shopping cart and some duct tape (this is why this girl is awesome) then go watch a move at my place at like 1am.

naturally i assume this is the positive sign i am looking for but i felt like i just never got any sort of body language tell that even remotely said she was interested during the movie. not to say seemed like she was actively avoiding me, just never felt i had a spot to do anything. either she is just totally oblivious or i am just a huge pussy and never went for it, probably some mix of both.

got girl's number after class.
she tells me to text her that night (she was going one place, i was going another)
i text her.
didnt get a response.
so tonight me and my friends are going to a bar.
do i send another text?

Ok to make a decision on whether it was you not making a move or it was her just not feeling it I need to know some things. When you watched guys laugh and stuff do you get those moments where you look at each other and smile at each other? If yes, that is a sign that she is definitely into you. Ok so now you guys are about to watch a movie. Where are you guys laying or sitting, bed, couch floor? Also how close do you guys sit or lay when watching the movie? Did you ever put your hand on her leg, hand, around her? Did she ever her head close to your body, on your shoulder, on your chest? I know these are a lot of questions but you got to think about this when making your decision. So for example, if she is ok with you putting your hand on her and she is ok with putting her body or head close to you then you are good to go. If she does that I say you move in for a kiss. If she was eyeing you during the movie along with these other signs and laughing and being giggly all night, then yes you were a vajayjay. If she was not doing any of the signs and just genuinely trying to have a good time, she could either just want to be friends or is just shy. If she is shy you need to make a small move just to see if she is shy or not into you. But I would assume she is into you since she hung all with you all night pretty much. I can give you advice on what to do next time you hang out to figure out this problem.

This a tricky situation. Depending on who the girl is then there are several options, but at the moment you only have 2 and that depends on what did you first text her? Did you text her that it was you from her class or what not? If so and she hasn't responded then leave it alone. Do not text her and enjoy your night. If you did NOT text her that where she might not have known who it was then I say you can text her, but only text her something like this "hey this is *insert name* from *insert class* I am going to a bar with some friends you should join me". So those are your two options.

definitely the latter, we were sitting close on the couch but i never got any head on shoulder type sign that felt obvious. i couldn't figure out if i was being to cautious waiting for an obvious sign like that but i spent the entire time waiting for some clear indication and never thought i saw anything. i am starting to think the best route might be just try to talk to her about it rather than making some sort of move since she doesn't seem like the type that is going to flirt/give signals. is it a terrible idea to just tell her i like her and want to know how she feels without trying to turn it into a big deal?

If she was sitting close to you on the couch and you got the vibe that she felt comfortable sitting close to you then I say you are good to go. I think telling her how you feel is definitely not a bad idea, but you also need to prepare yourself. You need to prepare yourself for her reaction. For example lets think positive first and say she is like "omgzz yeah I feel the same way". Well then hot stuff man that is going to be great. You just keep doing your thing as normal and you live happier ever after. But you have also plan for the negative. What if she says "hmmm sorry I don't feel that way". Well you need to be ok with the fact that it might effect your current relationship with her. She might be ok with it, and just tell you no I am sorry I am not looking for anything lets just be friends.

In case she pulls the "I just want to be friends" or "I am not looking for a relationship" you need to either be able to stop hanging out with her if she becomes distant, or be able to make it work as just friends.

There is also a very small chance, that if she is just "not looking for a relationship" she may be looking for a efff buddy. So also be sure to prepare for that. Like I said the chances of that are very small, but it is possible.

Yeah I'm quite serious about music and I presume she is too. Last night she said she was playing live in a couple weeks and invited me to come.

Anyways this seems like the clear line and thanks for removing any doubt.

i said this is turnupthesun. i dont want to seem desperate, but at the same time, i hate playing games and kinda want just get to the point. i know its early, like really early, and nothing at all has happened, i just dont like games. i guess ill leave it alone and embrace the akwardness in class on monday.

Sweet, it seems like everything is working itself out!

Ok the last thing you want to do is make things feel awkward. So just act like its all good and you are not phased by her not texting you back. If anything just say "Hey what did you end up doing Friday/Saturday night?". If you don't like games then don't play any. Just ask her out. "Do you want to grab some dinner/coffee/whaterver"

dude, you have to initiate it. It's clear that she likes you and you're at her house watching a movie at 1 am. It should be obvious that some sort of action is expected. Some girls are playful but don't want to initiate the sex. A LOT of girls are that way. I think you dropped the ball here. Even if you want to leave the possibility of a relationship open fooling around doesn't cancel that.

no it shows desperation. she got the message, she just didn't reply.

I don't think him texting her after she asked him to shows desperation but I definitely agree he should wait a bit before going again.

drunk tr:
(editors note: these are all exact quotes, cell phone is out and being copied exactly)
texted her tonight:
me: are you going out tonight? my costume is awesome
girl: hah what are you? and yeaaaa i am
me: im a baby lol its the best costume ever. we are probly going to fe tonight
girl: samsies
me: cool. see you there

1:00 am : me: just got in, where are ya?
2:00 am : me: called her
2:07 am : me text: jus seein if ya wanna smoke

tl, dr cliffnotes: girl that showed signs of interest tells me shes gonna be at the same bar and i dont see her, i show desperation signals, girl doesnt respond, my life is awful


drunk n high tho

Yeah these last 3 are not good.

i just wanna check and am hoping against hope that i am wrong.

i was grinding on this girl tonight at a party and got her number. after the party was over, she left with her friends. i soon after texted her that if she ever wanted to hang out, then just text me back. she texted back with "ah that's cool". that's a no, right? any way that could possibly be a yes?

something else i forgot to ask.


at a party, if you wanna dance with a girl, do you a. approach them and talk to them and ask if they want to dance with you b. just gently touch and hold her and move your body toward hers without asking or c. other alternative?

and does your answer depend on the slutiness level of the girl you're approaching?

i tried a and b with mixed success for each and am seeking an optimally +ev strategy.

u just say and i quote
"when you gonna let me tap that?"

I am going to be honest with you. There are many different things that could have happened. 1) Her phone died so therefor she wasn't able to get your text. 2)Did show and just never saw each other. 3) She and friends decided to go to another party. So those are the 3 positive scenarios. But sadly there is a bad scenario. 4) She didn't respond on purpose. If this is the case I would say she is a lost cause. If she didn't respond then she is just not interested. My advice to you is to just leave it alone. Don't text her and just leave her alone. If she wants to talk to you and text you, she will do that. So sorry to say unless she talks or text you saying "sorry I didn't see you my phone or *insert another excuse*" she is a lost cause.

Yes, that is definitely a no. The problem is you were doing great up until you texted her right after the party. You came off almost stalkerish. When you get a girls number at a party, and it ends and everyone leaves, you only text her right after the party for 1 reason. And that reason is if you are going to another party you can text her and say "Hey me and my friends are heading to *insert party* you should join". Besides that 1 and only reason you should leave it alone and text her in 2 days.

Well the problem with this question is many girls are different. You need to get yourself comfortable enough to be able to know which option to use on each girl. For example some girls think choice A is great while they thing choice B is douche bag like. So if you don't feel like trying to figure this out before you dance with them go with the simple solution.
Choice C:
Walk up to her, and say "Hi, I am Bob. Would you like to dance?" This is simple sweet and short. I suggest figuring out what you are going to say. You may choose to add something witty and funny, or something like "I saw you from across the room and couldn't help but come over and ask you to dance". That is something charming you could say. But be sure to always rotate what you say. For example don't use the same line on too many girls. It gets old and your game will get rusty.

Cliff: Learn to decide what line is best or phrase is best suited for each individual girl.

was there any conversation other than the "getting phone number"? If there wasn't than there is no reason for this girl to be attracted to you enough to go on a date with you. Girls will grind with pretty much anyone when their in the club. Phone numbers mean nothing.

also you need to text better. When you say "text me back if you ever want to hang out" is bound to be low percentage. Usually i'll talk about things that are happening soon around the city or just some general fun things that i do that are true, and than invite her to those from the text. That way we have something to talk about.