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Old 05-07-2017, 12:31 AM   #1
DalTXColtsFan
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You know you've been playing too much poker when...

Here's what I have so far:

The waiter asks you what kind of mint you want and you say "a tournament"

You're refereeing a track meet and instead of saying "ready, set, go" you say "shuffle up and deal"

At the grocery store, the cashier says, "That'll be 17.51", you hand her a $20 and say "Call".

You refuse to play baseball because there's no way you're going to chase when you only have 3 outs.

You're on a cruise ship, a lake or an ocean, you see a sign that says "No Wake", and you think to yourself, "Wow, I wewwy wewwy wanna pway pokew heyew!"

Any others?
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Old 05-07-2017, 02:08 AM   #2
ITT666
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

Inb4 racist ban get's called for on that last one.

Well I can't see any of these actually happening unless you are both sleep deprived and just finished a session that got well into the double digits, but as a gimmick I suppose it's an entertaining enough thread idea.
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Old 05-07-2017, 08:16 AM   #3
DalTXColtsFan
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

Elmer Fudd is a race?
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Old 05-07-2017, 12:42 PM   #4
Tom Ames
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

Quote:
Originally Posted by DalTXColtsFan View Post
Elmer Fudd is a race?
Sumbitch hates wascally wabbits for no weal weason.
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Old 05-07-2017, 04:34 PM   #5
MSchu18
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

A PETA hating red neck hillbilly with a speech impediment is a race...
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Old 05-08-2017, 04:40 PM   #6
kioshk
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

I'd actually like to play more poker, I miss it!

As an authentic Ozarks hillbilly, I can safely say that Elmer Fudd shows no signs of a hillbilly.
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Old 05-08-2017, 07:23 PM   #7
Tom Ames
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

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Originally Posted by kioshk View Post
I'd actually like to play more poker, I miss it!

As an authentic Ozarks hillbilly, I can safely say that Elmer Fudd shows no signs of a hillbilly.
Now that you mention it, he doesn't resemble any rednecks I know--and I know a bunch of them.

I think Elmer is a Youper or similar.
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Old 05-08-2017, 09:34 PM   #8
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

-You keep a piss bottle next to your 'puter
-You eat TopRamen right out of the bag.
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Old 05-16-2017, 04:36 PM   #9
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

You watch old John McEnroe tennis matches and say to yourself, "He's on tilt"

You're waiting too long in the doctor's waiting room and you yell, "CLOCK!"

When you're making plans for the next day but there are a lot of variables that could affect timings, and you say, "Let's just call the flop and see a turn card."

When you refer to any restaurant that doesn't accept reservations as a "Sit 'n' Go"
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Old 05-17-2017, 12:12 AM   #10
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

lose a hand
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Old 05-18-2017, 09:31 PM   #11
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

You take your car to the dealer for a warranty repair, they say the problem is not covered,you disagree and think it should be so you turn around and yell, "FLOOR!"
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Old 05-18-2017, 10:35 PM   #12
p2 dog, p2
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

when u name your cock "big slick"
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Old 05-21-2017, 03:01 PM   #13
tgiggity
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

When you're in a heated argument that you realize you don't really care about anyway and you say, "**** it, I fold."
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Old 05-26-2017, 10:47 AM   #14
pokermaniac12
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

Quote:
Originally Posted by DalTXColtsFan View Post
You take your car to the dealer for a warranty repair, they say the problem is not covered,you disagree and think it should be so you turn around and yell, "FLOOR!"
Oh dear that's good
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Old 06-02-2017, 07:33 PM   #15
DalTXColtsFan
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

you're driving down an interstate, there's heavy traffic ahead, you're deciding whether or not to exit, you PASS the exit and think to yourself, "Well, I'm pot committed now!"
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Old 06-02-2017, 07:33 PM   #16
DalTXColtsFan
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

You ask someone to pick you up a six-ball of beer at the grocery store
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Old 06-02-2017, 07:34 PM   #17
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Re: You know you've been playing too much poker when...

Quote:
Originally Posted by p2 dog, p2 View Post
when u name your cock "big slick"
That one's actually quite funny.
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