Clive James
“People are not to be despised
just because their dreams are cheap “

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I wasted time and now doth time waste me



ꜱʜᴀᴋᴇꜱᴩᴇᴀʀᴇ

Clive James “The Crystal bucket” is the best book of TV criticism that I have ever read, it includes a short dissertation on the penile inadequacy of silverback gorillas. One noticeable quote is “Gorillas display of aggression is usually a bluff, whereas when we say “I am going to attach an electrode to your genitals and send a shock through them we go ahead and do it, good old us”

See my “Yes minister” post in just for laughs
“Sir, I’m worried, will I become a moral vacuum?”
“Yes, if you work hard enough “

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"My bounty is as boundless as the sea,
My love as deep; the more I give to thee
The more I have, for both are infinite"



ᴊᴜʟɪᴇᴛ ɪɴ "ʀᴏᴍᴇᴏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴊᴜʟɪᴇᴛ"

ꜱʜᴀᴋᴇꜱᴩᴇᴀʀᴇ ɪꜱ ᴍᴀᴋɪɴɢ ꜰᴜɴ ᴏꜰ ᴊᴜʟɪᴇᴛ

Best one yet

Kate Bush from “Moments of Pleasure”
Just being alive can really hurt sometimes

About “ I will always love you “
"Whitney can have the credit, as long as I get the cash."

-Dolly Parton

I like his essay collections. Consider the Lobster and A supposedly fun thing that I will never do again are both excellent.

Frankie Bolyle
When Paris Hilton was in jail the guards mixed sperm into her porridge
She said “That’s disgusting, I don’t even like the taste of porridge “

Sam Beckett again
Nothing is funnier than unhappiness, I grant you that. Yes, yes, it's the most comical thing in the world.

Bertrand Russel
The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt.

Kenny Everet
“My girl was away for three years, I writ to her every single day. You know what happened? She married the postman”

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"In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number."

Steven Wright





"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-b*tch."

Jack Nicholson

"When you don't know how to behave, you're having an identity crisis."

Norman Mailer

"Technology says to people, 'I'll give you more power, but less pleasure.'"

Norman Mailer

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup.
H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques

Kirsty MacColl from “Soho Square”

I don't mind loneliness too much
But when I met you I was touched
And that was good enough for me
But do we always have to be sorry
Why can't we just be happy baby?

I love Russell and this sings so through

I was going to try another Russell quote, but there are just so many that I can’t decide which one to choose

Love is wise,
Hatred is foolish
Bertrand Russell

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A few more Steve Wrightisms:



What's another word for Thesaurus?

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you

I'd rather have a bottle in from of me than a frontal lobotomy






"Las Vegas looks like somebody took one of Liberace's jackets and made a city out of it." –


Lance Humble, Ph.D. and Carl Cooper, Ph.D., authors





'I hate when people say: "Nice to meet you" before I've even said anything. How do you know it's nice to meet me, I'm an a**hole!"


Jack Nicholson.

From “The return of the likely lads” Terrys attempt to reassure his friend
“Don’t worry, you’re still young, you are just at the dawn of your disasters”

"You don't have to do dumb stuff."

Frank Gambale

I could read these all day long.