There's not a thread on the internet that can't be improved by more Kate Bush

Thread needs some George Bernard Shaw

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for. Spend all you have before you die; do not outlive yourself.

Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn't!

Do not do unto others as you expect they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same.

And some Oscar Wilde

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken

The truth is rarely pure and never simple.

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.

The books that the world calls immoral are books that show the world its own shame.

And more Mark Twain

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see

If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.

And Samuel Beckett

Dance first. Think later. It's the natural order.

You're on earth. There's no cure for that.

We are all born mad. Some remain so.

Ian Dury

"Einstein can't be classed as witless
He claimed atoms were the littlest
When you did a bit of splitting-em-ness
Frightened everybody shitless"



There is an obvious explanation for all this genius


"probably had help from their mum, who had help from their mum

Kirsty MacColl
I fell out of favour with heaven somewhere
And I'm here for the hell of it now

"nobody likes me because all i do is spew facts."

ray zee 1980

“Women are like elephants. I like to look at ’em, but I wouldn’t want to own one.”

w.c. fields

If you pleasantly presented facts instead of just spewing them more people would like you*. -Zeno, 2020.


* That is, if you wish more people to like you. I would advise against it however.

pleasantry shows weakness my man and weakness rules out all chances of a bluff.

Some Basil Fawlty
Basil: You snobs. You stupid stuck-up, toffee-nosed, half-witted, upper-class piles of pus.

Mr Johnston: I’m not satisfied
Basil: What?
Mr Johnston: I’m not satisfied
Basil: Well, people like you never are, are you?
Mrs Johnston: What?
Basil: There is nothing I could do would please a pair like you, short of putting straw in the rooms.
Mrs Johnston: I think you’re the rudest man I’ve ever met.
Basil: I haven’t started yet

Basil: A satisfied customer. We should have him stuffed.



And Sybil:
Old people are wonderful when they have so much life, aren’t they? Gives us all hope, doesn’t it? My mother on the other hand is a little bit of a trial, really. You know, it’s alright when they have the lifeforce but Mother – well she’s got more of the deathforce really. She’s a worrier. She has these, well, morbid fears they are, really. Vans is one. Rats. Doorknobs. Birds. Heights. Open spaces. Confined spaces. It’s very difficult getting the space right for her really, you know. Footballs. Bicycles. Cows. And she’s always on about men following her, I don’t know what she thinks they’re going to do to her. Vomit on her, Basil says.

I cannot think how it is possible to come up with a more inaccurate and emotionally dead statement than “ "Love means never having to say you're sorry” but please feel free to try

“He still digs humanity, but it bothers Him to see the **** that gets carried out in His name - wars, bigotry, televangelism. But especially the factioning of all the religions. He said humanity took a good idea and, like always, built a belief structure on it.”

I was 10 when that movie was huge, and I even I knew how ******ed that quote was. Love means the exact opposite. Say sorry when you mean it.

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

"Never mind the forecast, 'cause the sky has lost control."

Not true the hardest word is diarrhoea

wouldnt that be the softest?

We are fated to pretend.

As an explanation for non payment “What with the drink trade on its last legs and the land running fallow for the want of artificial manures...” Flann O’Brian

Dolly Parton:
“I fought that red headed woman like a wildcat. She jerked my wig off and damn near beat me to death with it”

I did post the video of this in the music thread
Interviewer “You are just over 21 and have reached the top, what else is left for you to do?”
Kate Bush “Everything!”

Hitch again
If you gave Jerry Falwell an enema he could be buried in a matchbox

This one I'm going to remember.