I hope this thread can be a kind of catch all for the trials we parents go through.... I assume no one raises a child free from challenges, some kids are much more difficult than others ldo,so let this be a discussion of what you have trouble with, what has worked, advice, and everything else that goes along with raising kids in this day and age.

So to start this off.... I will ask for advice, hoping I can help someone else later with what has worked for me.


My daughter: age 10.

She is an above average student (not quite "gifted") and has no trouble in school. She finishes her homework on her bus ride home most days, and is socially well adjusted with other kids.

The problems my wife and I have are with her reactions to us. We ask simple questions and she can get loud (yell) and completely overreact. If we mistake a small detail about something.... again yelling and overreaction. This has gone on for quite a while.... when she yells we always try to calmly and quietly reply to lower the volume of the conversation, but it rarely works.

I'm not quite sure what else I can do.... she does this only with our immediate family, not out in public, so I think she knows it is unacceptable, but still thinks she can get away with it when others don;t see it. It gets a bit rediculous in summer months when our windows are open.... our neighbors could think we physically abuse her with the volume of her screams and tantrums.

Any advice?

My son: age 8

He is in general a very sweet boy, his teachers have commented on how he is very nice to all other kids (ecspecially the "special needs" kid who was in his class) He is not as confident or naturally intelligent as his sister, but I try to foster confidence in the successes in his endeavors. He does not seem to put the effort in for his daily tasks whether it be in school, homework, whatever, and may have a touch of ADD or ADHD as he has a short attention span as well as a lack of keeping focused. He is only 8, and I know those traits are common for his age, so I don't want to go toward any professional diagnosis and drug regiment at this point..... really I just want him to try a little harder at the things he is doing. For a while, he was behind average in reading and math, but our "overtime" work with him have got him caught up it seems.... he is now "average", but maybe on the southern hemisphere of average so to speak.

Any advice on fostering better attention/learning??? or is it just keep putting the time in to keep him up to speed the best we can?

Disclaimer: I am not a parent, nor do i pretend to know what's best.

Your daughter could possibly be reaching out for attention, you have been giving your son "Overtime" and although she doesn't need help in school she MAY want some kind of recognition or 1on1 time with you and your wife. I'd say that calmly ignoring the outbursts or quietly trying to use logic is not the answer. If it's unacceptable behavior, she needs to be told and if it doesn't sink in there needs to be repercussions for it(no tv, no favorite toy, no phone) for 24 hours. Just hoping she'll realize it's annoying isn't really an option.



as for the son, I'd say he' fairly normal for 8yo boy. Putting in time is all well and good, but there needs to be a change in mentality by you. Saying things like "he's not as naturally intelligent" as his sister only hurts him. Putting the same high expectations for him may make him try harder. As for the attention span, just make sure when he is doing homework it's a silent room with 0 distractions other than someone there to help him. at his age ANYTHING is more exciting than homework, so you have to take away all other options.



I read some of the book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" and it made me realize how ridiculously easy it is for parents to control their children either way(to lenient or to strict) but it just goes to show you have a lot more power than you think you do in these situations. Although it's probably a really difficult thing to walk the line, I'd say leaning towards being too controlling is better at ages <15 because you can lighten up and show them with trust they can get more freedom.

Try this with your daughter; when she starts throwing a tantrum, calmly but sternly tell her that the behavior needs to stop now. If she doesn't stop calmly take her to her room. Once there, tell her she will remain in her room for 10 minutes because she was throwing a fit and wouldn't stop when asked. Set a timer and walk away. If she comes out of her room at any time before the 10 minutes is complete, say nothing as you take her back to her room and reset the timer. Continue to do this with no communication until the 10 minutes has been completed. Once she completes the 10 minutes and has calmed down, go to her and explain why she was removed from the situation, tell her her behavior was unacceptable, and have her apologize. Then tell her you love her and give hugs and kisses. Putting your foot down and letting her know that you will not tolerate the behavior may help her to realize that she can't get away with it anymore.

For your son you are doing great! Taking time to help him shows that you love and care about him and his education. If you really think that there may be some ADHD/ADD there but you don't want to medicate -which I agree with you there - try and research changes you can make in food that can help. A friend of mine was very much against medicating her son so she found a very strict diet that did seem to help with her son's behavior issues.

Is she hitting puberty early? Hormonal changes can make them act a bit wild at times. If not, is she getting enough sleep? My gf's daughter can be a real pain when she is tired. Come Friday she just collapses into her bed because she has a very busy schedule.