I am suffering from severe anxiety, but still worry about making slight grammatical errors on the internet.

It's true. Bing Crosby invented them.

I always have nightmares about going to back to school

I've had my one glass of wine with dinner on this Friday evening. I didn't go out to the local place. Instead, my friend called and said she needed to spend some time with me. Yet another woman who thinks I'm perfect--for somebody else.

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Are you actually friends with her or do you like her?

John - i think you need an interpreter and a detective 'cause you're not understanding the language and not seeing the clues.

My daughter thinks I'm oblivious. She may be right.

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Exactly the same here, don’t know why

Happened to start SWA's app today, they had a warning for a tropical storm coming your way, John. Be careful.

I'm in the oblivious camp too. It's not always bad, but the light bulb has certainly gone on later..."oh, I get it now. Sigh."

I'm pet sitting tonight, but I'll be back on the coast for Saturday night.

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your friend says she 'needs' to spend some time with you. i suggest you at first take that at face value. enjoy her company (and let her enjoy yours), be the supportive person she's apparently seeking out, strategically offer your infinite wisdom from decades of experience sprinkled with a generous amount of charming wit and go from there.

in other words, just be John Cole and the rest will take care of itself

My dreams usually involve a fantastic version of a school I once went to, often dramatically enlarged and with a much larger student population than normal.
Dream high school is often 10,000 students. Dream university is often > 1 million and many square miles. IÂ’m usually lost. I usually have to meet someone or go to class and there is typically a low level conflict of interest. Sometimes itÂ’s a much more interesting conflict of interest but usually not. I never make it to the right classroom.
Usually the dream ends when I discover I’m on the wrong floor or I got the wrong directions. Sometimes I make it to class but I’m the only student and the teacher Hates me passionately enough to make me forget my daddy issues for a moment. One time the floor was roach infested, not with thousands of roaches but several dozen and the walls were covered in satanic drawings of various kinds and I raised my hand to answer the teachers question but he just ignored me; he pretended not to see me even though I had my hand firmly raised and was the only student in class. So after about 10 minutes the teacher looked exasperated that no one was there to answer his question and finally he sighs and asks me what I think the answer is in a corse tone. And I’m so mad that he did that so I just said “I ****ed your dad!” and then left.

Artistic

John, if this doesn’t get your new girl into action nothing will

Autistic

I repeat. There is no "new girl."

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Henri hit hard a couple hours ago, and I have a lovely view of the storm-tossed ocean from my living room. No power, but I don't need it quite yet. Prepared by taking a shower and shaving.

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You only need to shower and shave once a week. You are not married and can’t even understand that some women may even like you. Minimum effort is the key to a simple quite life.

An itchy face is no fun.

What, no poop?

this may come as a shock to you but poop really doesn't need electricity.

I always go by the shower, **** and a shave adage which was the way I was going with this.

Neither do a shower or a shave. Your Basic Training has left something to be desired.

obviously John was prepping for his 'non' lady friend to come find comfort, shelter, and solace in his arms.
the etiquette training and hygiene you yokels learned in boot is not the way to go

Basic training in Canada. wtf.