Rebels Ruminations - Page 9 - The Lounge Discussion and Review on Literature, Arts, Culture

Neither of my brothers have got around much.
I think that this leads to a small town mentality, “What will the neighbours think?”
I am currently undergoing an agonising bout of constipation, I really need to go to hospital.
I asked B2 if he could give me a lift
“Have you got any clothes on?”
“Yes”
“Are they clean?”
“I am in agony, do you really think I GAF about what people think of my sartorial elegance?”

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06-30-2020 , 01:47 PM

#202

Rebelp

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Recommendation:Taking your underwear off before having a dump is a very very good idea, which I forgot

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06-30-2020 , 02:10 PM

#203

Rebelp

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Dale
Just after I was widowed I told work that I could not do long hours because I had to look after the dogs.
During a cigarette break Dale told me that his dog was the love of his life, but he had to let it go because of his work commitments
This was such an obvious attempt at emotional blackmail to get me to commit more time to getting the sauce plant working and save his sorry ass that my coffee went straight from mouth to nose and landed all over him

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06-30-2020 , 02:54 PM

#204

Rebelp

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The other one
Can’t remember his name , works for the same company as Dale
He is a hard ass and very intelligent, he had the brain power to work out that I was harder assed and cleverer than him.
He once told me to “put down the mouse and think ” while I was trying to solve an urgent problem. I told him that I know the solution and I am just trying to implement it so can you just shut your mouth until I get it done .

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06-30-2020 , 05:06 PM

#205

Rebelp

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I mentioned “I love Lucie” but if you like mainstream surrealist comedy “Some mother’s do have em “ is unbeatable

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06-30-2020 , 05:22 PM

#206

Rebelp

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

If someone says “I’m not a racist but...” this means that they are a racist, and that you should hurt them as much as possible, preferably using a hammer

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06-30-2020 , 06:06 PM

#207

Rebelp

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Off his head on Mary J. Richard distracted and annoyed Jean while she was driving them home from a festival. She pulled over into a service station and told him to get out. He thought that she was joking, and that she would let him back in. He had to find his own way home

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06-30-2020 , 09:46 PM

#208

Rebelp

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Dominic Cummings is a self professed disruptive genius
He apparently drove 60 miles to check if his eyesight was ok
Driving a machine that can cause major damage to other people in order to check if you are fit to drive don’t seem to slot in to the “disruptive genius” category , more the “arrogant idiot “

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07-01-2020 , 12:26 AM

#209

Rebelp

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Food and phones foolishness
One of the guiding principles of food production is that the final container must never be used for any other purposes, in case it gets contaminated and then put back into the supply chain. Despite being told this one fellow I worked with could not get this into his brain and insisted on using one as a phone holder. I tried the “connivence ” vs “Mass Death” line on him but it just bounces off his head

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07-01-2020 , 02:02 AM

#210

Rebelp

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Don’t take 10x amount of Amphetamine you should, it will render you immobile

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07-01-2020 , 04:03 AM

#211

Rebelp

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I have just started listening to “She’s lost control” again, though it is a song that raises pop music into high art my listening to it means my mind is reaching new depths

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07-01-2020 , 04:22 AM

#212

Rebelp

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Constant contemplation of the mystery of life can be very painful, but not as painful as getting the end of your penis stuck in your zip

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07-01-2020 , 08:11 AM

#213

Rebelp

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I quite like Martin even though he is what is called in the Midlands a spoofer, someone who does no work but takes the credit for the work of others.
Bad point was that he turned up to his second wedding in a helicopter dressed as James Bond
Good point was that he told us that in the throes of passion his first wife would grip him so tightly that he feared for his life

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07-01-2020 , 06:40 PM

#214

Rebelp

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Dominic, I am not very well at the moment so I cannot work out if you are just having a little fun or not , I hope that you are, I like you since we have the same taste in music and humour. You have seen many more ladies with no clothing on than I have, you lucky B

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07-02-2020 , 12:30 PM

#215

Rebelp

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

B2 is a cleaner He should work 8 hours on one site. He told the boss there that he would be leaving 1/2 hour early every day because the lack of social distancing during the shift change meant that the only thing he could do during that time was to find somewhere to hide, and that seems to be a waste of time

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07-02-2020 , 03:43 PM

#216

Rebelp

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Taking up neglecting personal hygiene as a hobby was a mistake, woodwork maybe?

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07-02-2020 , 06:56 PM

#217

Rebelp

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The doctor not only put his finger in my botty, he also came back and squeezed my testicles. I guess that my luck is in tonight.

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07-02-2020 , 09:08 PM

#218

Rebelp

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I have been prescribed Co-codamol to control the pain caused by my constipation.
Co-codamol can cause constipation.
The irony of this does not escape me

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07-03-2020 , 10:34 PM

#219

Rebelp

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Thomas Beecham
Try Everything Once Except Incest and Morris Dancing
I once overheard a guy in the pub say “She told me it’s either me or Morris Dancing” , he was wearing the full Morris dancing kit so we can work out what happened

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07-04-2020 , 04:21 PM

#220

Rebelp

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Dogs
Having a large Great Dane running straight at you causes you to hope that he can stop or divert direction before he hits you. I know that Great Danes are large anyway, but he was a very big example of the breed.

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07-04-2020 , 05:11 PM

#221

Rebelp

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Sci Fi
B#1 Told me that he would immediately disregard any Sci Fi novel that didn’t have “Credits” as the unit of currency

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07-04-2020 , 06:14 PM

#222

Rebelp

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Seen many great racehorses, don’t think anything has come close to Frankel

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07-05-2020 , 11:44 AM

#223

Rebelp

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Never thought that I would see the headline “ socially distanced hot dog contest“,
What times we are living in

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07-05-2020 , 02:02 PM

#224

Rebelp

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

When I was younger all the gossip was who was going out with who, now it’s all about who has got what illness

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07-05-2020 , 10:28 PM

#225

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

I come from a very loving family. I remember we were out playing and some old git said “I hate kids” to us. I was baffled by this. We are children, you should love us

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