Rebels Ruminations - Page 8 - The Lounge Discussion and Review on Literature, Arts, Culture

Andrea part 100, including boobs
When she put her hand inside her top and started to move them around it took her a little while to notice her college’s disconcerted expressions
“Sorry, new bra, it’s cutting me in half”

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06-27-2020 , 12:34 AM

#177

Rebelp

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I think this forum is for grown ups and they will have noticed, but in case anyone has missed the point I am having a complete mental collapse. One of the symptoms is insomnia this does not just mean that you cannot sleep, it means that you spend all of your time in a wasteland between consciousness and unconsciousness, this may have led to a few too many posts. In my defence most of them have been about ladies chests; the wonderfulness of which is something we can all agree on

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06-27-2020 , 06:52 AM

#178

Rebelp

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Referring to people as “Normal folks, and women as well “ doesn’t go down well with radical feminists

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06-27-2020 , 08:10 AM

#179

Rebelp

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Lake District place names
“We are going to the Lake District”
“Cockermouth?”
“Hope so, we are on our honeymoon after all“

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06-27-2020 , 02:35 PM

#180

Rebelp

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Bill Bryson noticed a close together pair of place names. Tickle**** and ****ing. This seems to be a logical progression

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06-27-2020 , 02:39 PM

#181

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I will have to get off the physical stuff for a while before my inevitable ban, so what do think my next subject should be?
I was thinking that arguing with inanimate objects is pointless and inevitable.

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06-27-2020 , 03:31 PM

#182

Rebelp

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From the golf discussion in the LC thread.
One of the big advantages of staying in a golf hotel near midsummer is that it gets light very early, so the annoying little ****s go off to get a round in early, allowing you to enjoy your breakfast in peace.

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06-27-2020 , 04:26 PM

#183

Rebelp

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I think that that bastard Dominic (T.M) has put me on ignore, so if anyone else sees him can you tell him that we share the same taste for depressed beautiful women singing so I don’t see why we can’t be friends.

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06-27-2020 , 06:06 PM

#184

Rebelp

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I still think that a lot of my many problems are due to language processing. The people that I am dear to seem to work in the same way. After explaining to Bro#1 why I refer to his beloved girls as vermin, I phoned him up the next day. and asked how the vermin were. His mind didn’t skip a beat, he just said “Fine, I am am just a bit tired at the moment I had to drive 150 miles to pick up niece#1s stuff from university, since she won’t be going back“

Last edited by Rebelp; 06-27-2020 at 06:08 PM. Reason: U

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06-27-2020 , 09:42 PM

#185

Rebelp

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Once I was in Edinburgh and met a group of Irish rugby fans when the Ireland vs Scotland match was due to be played.
“What are you doing here? The game is being played in Dublin”
“Correct, this means that all the girls boyfriends will be over there “

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06-27-2020 , 10:31 PM

#186

Rebelp

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If you are slightly inconvenienced by another person telling them “Would you like a slice of this dogshit on toast” is a good way of reliving your frustration

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06-27-2020 , 11:56 PM

#187

Rebelp

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I think that we need to invent some new insults to throw at Trump, what a ****ing **** doesn’t do the business anymore

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06-28-2020 , 01:04 AM

#188

Rebelp

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We can learn from dogs, they assess each other’s character by sniffing each other’s bottoms, if elected president I would make it law that humans do the same thing

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06-28-2020 , 02:05 AM

#189

Rebelp

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The brain can quickly switch from thinking about the deepest mysteries of life and death to thinking “I would like a tuna sandwich“

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06-28-2020 , 10:21 AM

#190

Rebelp

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After my Amy Winehouse post,
My brother used to routinely make disrespectful remarks about her.
I have now instructed my most powerful tiny woman (N#2) to strike her dad around the head with a bottle and say “Shut up you tone deaf arsehole”
Although she is a bit tired she accepted the job, because she likes hitting people around the head with bottles

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06-28-2020 , 04:21 PM

#191

Rebelp

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One junior nurse once took all the old ladies dentures out to clean them but forgot to label which set belonged to who. It took a bit of trial and error to sort out which set of gnashers belonged to which old dear

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06-28-2020 , 04:40 PM

#192

Rebelp

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Anybody else got so bored that they have tried to explain Boolean logic to their dog?
He did seem to understand, but added some bones and arse sniffing to the equations which are not theoretically required.

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06-28-2020 , 05:38 PM

#193

Rebelp

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Different Julie
After we had buried her mum Julie, who had maintained a somber countenance throughout said “OK that’s done with; let’s get down to the pub and have a few”
She used to work with Paul Mcartney

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06-28-2020 , 05:44 PM

#194

Rebelp

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Always open to correction
Best opening line to a song, Warren Zevon, Play it all night long - “Grandpa pissed his pants again, he don’t give a damn”

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06-28-2020 , 06:11 PM

#195

Rebelp

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Re-Re correction; best opening line is from “Plaistow Patricia “, quoting one word from which will get me banned for longer than the universe will exist

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06-28-2020 , 07:39 PM

#196

Rebelp

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I was once pinched on the bum by a woman when I was queuing up to get the drinks in. I really enjoyed it.
The power relationship between men and women is ****ed up, this explains why women are so worried about what men will do, I don’t blame them.

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06-28-2020 , 11:00 PM

#197

Rebelp

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Katie Hopkins has been forcibly retired from Facebook, which is good.
However in an ideal world she should be dry roasted, thinly sliced and then made into dog treats

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06-28-2020 , 11:42 PM

#198

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Two songs that I have just about got away with posting
“He ain’t heavy he’s my brother”, my B#2 is slightly over 5’ tall and is not very heavy so I think I have got away with that
“Short people” N#2 as mentioned is fond of smashing people over the head with bottles, but I think that I have supplied her with enough targets that she will be ready for sleep before I come into the frame

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06-28-2020 , 11:51 PM

#199

Rebelp

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I can supply pictures of SIL but they will come with a heavy price, mainly your regret at not spending your life with her

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06-29-2020 , 02:15 PM

#200

Rebelp

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That bastard Dominic(T.M)use of “shtick” reminded me of this
Step 1 Stephen had a severe lisp
Step 2 SLES (Sodium Laurel ethanol) is a major component of most cosmetic products.
Step 3 We installed a SLES delivery system into the factory
Step 4 When Stephen describes it as “A splendid stainless steel SLES system “ You just say Thanks for the compliment, where is the nearest place I can borrow a towel

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