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06-25-2020 , 02:22 PM
Regarding genitalia, the washing of.
Don’t worry about testicles, they hang out in the open air and will get a sufficient rinse from the soap and water flowing from your upper body.
You need to concentrate on the gaps between them and your thighs, a lot of nasty material can build up in that space if you give it chance
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06-25-2020 , 03:17 PM
Homosexuality
As regards Lesbianism I am a traditionalist, who wants to see two beautiful women caressing each other when you can see a fat hairy butch woman?
Male *****; I am indifferent between the old effeminate model and the new fangled macho one.
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06-25-2020 , 04:02 PM
Short one about my admiration of of women
They are just as good as men, but have these lumps on their chest, which makes them better.
If anyone accuses me of being a pervert I will refer them to the scholarly paper “Penis, possession of; correlation with being a pervert approaches 100%”
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06-25-2020 , 04:12 PM
Referring to one of my recent posts.
I accidentally saw this 11 years old post from
Dominic in the music thread.
Re: Music: What are you listening to today?
Any Spoon is good Spoon
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06-25-2020 , 04:30 PM
More foul mouthed fun
I like asking women “When did bras start getting on your tits.”
Good for me I like being slapped in the face
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06-25-2020 , 05:06 PM
The kindness of the Rebel
If anyone thinks that Fawlty towers is not the funniest sitcom in history, I can recommend some very good brain replacement surgeries
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06-25-2020 , 06:05 PM
Thugs have feelings
In the late 70s Brother #1 and #2 would go to watch Liverpool play football, they would have been 12 and 14 at the time. There was a lot of fighting going on at that time, they would suspend the fight to let #1 and #2 go past.
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06-25-2020 , 06:19 PM
Another repeat I think
Viv Richards is the most intimidating sportsman ever.
After he had missed a few balls the bowler tried to wind him up by saying “Look Viv, this is the ball , it’s red, round and weighs 6 ounces”
After he had got his eye in Viv hit the ball out of the ground and said “You know what it looks like, now go and find it “
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06-25-2020 , 07:16 PM
Richards again. He never wore a helmet even though the bowlers were directing a hard ball towards his head at 80 to 90 mph
“I didn’t want them to think that I was afraid of them “
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06-25-2020 , 08:15 PM
See music thread. The death of my wife, parents and a few close friends I am happy to file under “Cancer can go **** itself “ The death of Kirsty McColl however really annoys me
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06-25-2020 , 09:41 PM
Creative arts vs being useful
I am a very useful person, but not at all artistic. I know that my job is to keep things working so that the artists can go around doing the beautiful things.
They should also respect what I do, unless they like dysentery and starvation
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06-25-2020 , 10:05 PM
The cosmetic company was founded by a family of Jewish refugees. They sold most of their output to Marks and Spencer’s, founded by an earlier generation of Jewish refugees. At one point they changed the company name to “Axis international “
The “what the ****ery” of this choice brought me to the edge of running out of my supply of very naughty words
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06-25-2020 , 11:22 PM
Respect works
When I was out celebrating FC Twenty’s qualification for the Champions League I accidentally grabbed hold of the left breast of the sister of a man I was working with.
Because of my honesty neither of them thought that there was anything creepy about a man grabbing the norks of a woman 20 years younger than him. We had a rather good giggle about it.
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06-25-2020 , 11:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebelp
Steve R
Big and violent.
One of the women on reception said that he looked scary but was harmless; since he once told me that the sight of someone being knocked to the ground and kicked was “As funny as ****” I doubt the harmless bit.
Still drunk from the night before he once waved a girlie magazine out of the car window at passing schoolgirls while shouting obscenities

I lent him my shoes so that he could get into a nightclub

He would debag a fellow worker every Thursday evening,

He came to the conclusion that the solution to being unable to control a large dog and the subsequent damage to the doors in his house was to remove the doors

He was always respectful of people that he saw as his intellectual superiors

He was a bit distracted at work after one of his friends was thrown to his death from a hotel room due to a drug deal that had gone wrong.

I quite like him

Todd Packer?


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06-26-2020 , 12:10 AM
Two thoughts on music.
1. When the singers voice breaks at an emotional point in a song it does things to you that you would not want to happen but could not do without.
2. Information, yes Germaine Greer did sing a version of “Stand by your man”
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06-26-2020 , 12:47 AM
There is so much good music out there that it justifies my decision to ignore the eagles Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin they may make a nice enough sound but we only have a limited time on earth, best not to waste any time on adequate but dull songs.

Last edited by Rebelp; 06-26-2020 at 12:51 AM. Reason: Moody blues, don’t mention them, I have just eaten
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06-26-2020 , 09:10 AM
I am considering moving my political position from International socialism to radical communist.
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06-26-2020 , 09:13 AM
I just castigated the server at the local store after he casually flipped my bottle of vodka before handing it to me.
“Please stop trying to reprise Tom Cruises’ role in Cocktail, thanks“
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06-26-2020 , 11:22 AM
Need to get my eyes checked. Misreading “Handwash” as “Mouthwash” is not the brightest thing that I have ever done
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06-26-2020 , 12:47 PM
Women again.
Being a good man and heterosexual I feel very protective of women. I am also quite good at IT. If anyone feels it necessary to make a derogatory remark about Kate Bush or Kirsty MacColl I will trace your physical location from your IP address and set a number of tiny violent women on you.
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06-26-2020 , 02:07 PM
Misspelling.
I sent a message to Tony about Female Irish singers and why I hold them in such high regard. Misspelled the last word of my post, spelled “Nolan sisters song” as “Nolan sisters dong” I don’t think that he will get a decent nights sleep once that thought gets into his mind.
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06-26-2020 , 03:08 PM
Reply to a comment from the music thread.
Whitney Houston is not a better singer than Dolly Parton, she had a better vocal range and power, but that misses the point of music. The point is to help explain life; Dolly takes a microsecond pause between lines to allow you to fill in the gaps; See also: enormous knockers, joy of.
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06-26-2020 , 08:18 PM
Still think that people are the best machines ever, they can transfer more data with a tiny change in eye direction than the fastest servers on the internet can process in a month.
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06-26-2020 , 11:07 PM
Bit of a brag , but not only have I seen a woman with no clothes on, I have also touched it. She seemed to like it using “Get away from me before I call the police “ as a term of endearment
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06-26-2020 , 11:44 PM
All this talk about music from whatever earlier decade being better than the stuff put out today is most simply explained by thinking that you are getting old and your brain cannot process new info as well as it used to
I know some of my stuff is jokey, but my hatred of us old ****s pretending to be better than young people is something that I really mean, they do all the hard work and invent the future while we hang around waiting to die and relying on them to support us.
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