Rebels Ruminations - Page 5 - The Lounge Discussion and Review on Literature, Arts, Culture

I love that girl part 3
Andrea and Matthew were having a slight disagreement, Andrea said “Matt, I haven’t got a nasty bone in my body” He spurlged out “Would you like one?” The subsequent blushes from the pair of them could power a small town for a week.

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06-20-2020 , 08:18 PM

#102

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Panic attacks are not funny, you can be unable to move and unable to stay in the same place at the same time. I once seriously considered throwing myself to my death just to make it stop. The only people who don’t take mental health problems seriously are those who have not got the brainpower for it to affect them.

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06-20-2020 , 10:03 PM

#103

Schlitz mmmm

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 27,875

truth

I have sleep apnea, and caught myself the other day in a semi-conscious state that included what seemed like momentary paralysis.

in short, I'm all f*cked up

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06-20-2020 , 10:35 PM

#104

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Ta schlitz

A bit of advice for everyone; if you break your big toe while shaving don’t go to the pub and wait until your entire sock is soaked with blood before deciding to go to hospital.

Last edited by Rebelp; 06-20-2020 at 10:49 PM.

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06-20-2020 , 11:30 PM

#105

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

I have just remembered something that will destroy any remaining faith that you have in humanity; that will have to wait until tomorrow.
On a lighter note, my dog has just farted

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06-21-2020 , 05:41 AM

#106

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

I know that I am an attention whore , but does anyone really want to see a 59 year old man whose eczema is playing up recreate the photo of that woman on the beach doing a handstand?

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06-21-2020 , 10:45 AM

#107

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

The standard of entertainment in the 70s left something to be desired, we used to occupy our time by spraying mum’s hairspray into an open fire. Just had a chat with Brother #2 he remembered this and said “It’s a wonder we have any noses left” See also “Stream of fire approaching a canister of flammable liquid, joy of”

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06-21-2020 , 12:08 PM

#108

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Credit to Matt for this observation.
A man and his girl were at a club when she noticed him eyeing up another girl.
On the way home she said “ If you think she is sexy what about this”, and bent over and waggled her backside at him.
He replied “ That ain’t sexy, it’s obscene “

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06-21-2020 , 03:52 PM

#109

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

One of the reasons that I will always be a lefty is Pop music. Some conservatives argue that the ruling classes are on top because they are innately superior. I take a glance at music, which is probably the most meritocratic industry ever, and notice that all the best performers come from the oppressed masses.

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06-21-2020 , 04:50 PM

#110

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Two thoughts on Sunderland night life

The cheapest way to get absolutely plastered is to get a friend to work behind the bar of the club. He can then take the money for a drink, pretend to put it in the till, and return all of it to you as “change”

“She goes to Fino’s “ is a minor hit from a Sunderland punk band, based on the assumption that he couldn’t see the girl of his dreams because he couldn’t get into the club that she went to due to their over 21s only policy. I observed that the real age limit was about 14.

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06-21-2020 , 06:59 PM

#111

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Why am proud of my family (with language differences )
My cousin and godmother Helen once told me
“I am proud of the way I raised my son, he may be gay, but he has never had a *** in his life.“
She adored mum and dad , maybe because her stepfather sexually abused her and they were the only people that she could trust

Last edited by Rebelp; 06-21-2020 at 07:01 PM. Reason: F . A .G

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06-21-2020 , 08:34 PM

#112

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Since I have been going a bit short lately I came up with a list of people that I would like to do it with. The list is very long, including nearly everyone ever.
Exceptions are Bruce Willis , Hillary Clinton and Margaret Thatcher . I might make an exception for Maggie , but only because that may allow me to trick her into feeling that I cared for her, allowing me to stab her and throw her cold body into the nearest river.

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06-21-2020 , 11:12 PM

#113

Rebelp

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Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

I was going to discuss female vocalists, but that involved using the word “Pantheon” and the beauty of the word diverted me

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06-22-2020 , 12:17 AM

#114

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Birds versus mammals
Birds think they have got the long neck department covered what with storks, emus and ostriches and such
Giraffes come along and say “Hang on a minute lads”

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06-22-2020 , 02:48 AM

#115

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Another trick that women do is to cross their arms behind their backs, this causes immediate falling in love with them. See “All kinds of everything “ by Dana for an example

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06-22-2020 , 04:46 AM

#116

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rebelp

I have just remembered something that will destroy any remaining faith that you have in humanity; that will have to wait until tomorrow.
On a lighter note, my dog has just farted

Owe an update on this, when I was waiting for a flight to Germany I got into a conversation with someone who said “Germany eh? they like a bit of snuff over there”
That anyone could find a source of pleasure in seeing someone tortured and then killed baffles me, and explains my liking for expletives.
Ringo Starr explains my life position better than anyone else “Peace and love “

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06-22-2020 , 06:15 AM

#117

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Said many times that the beauty of music confuses me. Roy Orbison being the greatest male vocalist is one rock that I will stand on. I have decided to add Elvis Costello being the greatest lyricist ever to the list of rocks that I will defend

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06-22-2020 , 09:36 AM

#118

RichGangi

Laughable false & highly douchey

Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 9,546

Freddie Mercury says hi.

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06-22-2020 , 01:53 PM

#119

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Being on a drip in hospital is one of the most dispiriting things that you can do. After a few days I was told “ Good news, only 1 left to go” They then undermined the good news by telling me that it would take 8 hours. I was so pissed off that I couldn’t even be bothered to try and distract myself , I spent the next 8 hours staring at the display on the flow meter waiting for it to time out. When it did I went to the nurses station and said “Hello girls, times up, can someone cut me free please ?”

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06-22-2020 , 02:44 PM

#120

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Since that bastard Dominic seems to haven been joined by his bastard friend John in banishing me to this frozen wasteland I may as well clear somethings up

1. Never cross me, I will think that you are a catholic priest and that you are going to sexually assault me.

2.I still have access to my army of violent tiny women, they can do things to you that not only you can’t imagine, God almighty himself struggles to understand how such things are possible

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06-22-2020 , 06:12 PM

#121

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Probably caused by watching too many cop shows but I am fed up to the back teeth with “Weary compassion”, what is wrong with straightforward compassion?

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06-23-2020 , 01:07 AM

#122

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Not suitable for those of a sensitive nature

When dying Jean managed to summon up the strength to gently hold my hand

In happier times she also managed to bop me on the snozzle while we were having a small disagreement, I remember thinking at the time “Well done lass , it takes a lot of skill to move your arm that quick and still land on the intended target “

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06-23-2020 , 07:12 AM

#123

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

It has become clear that if you neglect your personal hygiene for long enough you will start
to smell like a rotting cabbage, lucky for me I like the smell of rotting cabbage.

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06-23-2020 , 08:03 AM

#124

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Why we love ‘em, again
Bro #2 phoned up, at the end of the call he said “ I will coming around tomorrow, so if you hear someone knocking at the door and then bursting in if you don’t answer it will be me, unless it’s not, in which case it will be someone else “

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06-23-2020 , 03:25 PM

#125

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Tales of the Caribbean
The delight that you find from observing a cloud of fireflies from your bedroom window is undermined by you then spotting a scorpion in your room.

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