Rebels Ruminations - Page 34 - The Lounge Discussion and Review on Literature, Arts, Culture

I don’t believe for a second that anyone has ever seen what is in a girls underwear. If you challenge this with “Where do babies come from then?” I would reply “Storks “

Quote

05-22-2021 , 08:19 PM

#828

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

The first time I had sexual relations it was with a heavily pregnant woman. She said that she had enjoyed the experience, but I think that may have more to do with the bacon sandwich that I made for her afterwards.

Quote

05-23-2021 , 12:16 AM

#829

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Classical trained ballet dancers have the ability to stop moving in a way that makes you think that you are looking at a still photo of them.

Quote

05-23-2021 , 06:25 AM

#830

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

When a guy who was in a wheelchair was trying to get into his car I deliberately refrained from interfering in case he thought that I was being patronising. He said to me “could you perhaps give me a hand you silly bastard ?”

Quote

05-23-2021 , 08:38 AM

#831

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

James decision to drive to work when he was plastered from the night before was not wise. The fact that we were staying in an hotel about a mile away from the Labour Party conference when Tony Blair was prime minister and the place was swarming with police made his decision worse. He did have the good grace to fall asleep all day at work to prevent himself from compounding his error.

Quote

05-23-2021 , 12:04 PM

#832

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

The seals vs sea-lion debate has always troubled me. And then walruses come along and complicate matters even further

Quote

05-23-2021 , 03:42 PM

#833

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Why do golfers seem to insist on playing the ball into large holes filled with sand? Surely this makes things more difficult for them.

Quote

05-23-2021 , 07:40 PM

#834

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Nathan’s decision to have an affair with the girlfriend of a Russian gangster did not seem to me to be the wisest decision, but it did come up with a great line.
When they were having dinner he noticed that she was not eating anything
“Why are you not eating?”
“I never eat before I pleasure my man”

Quote

05-23-2021 , 09:21 PM

#835

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

When the sauce company wanted to move into soup production and the soup company wanted to move into sauce production we provided equipment to them both, amoral arms dealers anyone?

Quote

05-24-2021 , 03:42 AM

#836

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

I quite like looking at pictures of women wearing few, if any, clothes, does anyone else share this unusual hobby?

Quote

05-24-2021 , 07:33 AM

#837

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

The quitting alcohol thread should be renamed as “an academic discourse on the effects of withdrawal from ethanol, policed by unsupportive humourless wankers”

Quote

05-24-2021 , 02:13 PM

#838

27offsuit

actions have consequences!

Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 38,535

The alcohol thread, and OOT as a whole for that matter, is not your litter box.

Quote

05-24-2021 , 02:26 PM

#839

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Which reminds me of old school Oxford slang, where a waste paper basket would be called a “Wagger Pagger Bagger”

Quote

05-24-2021 , 03:52 PM

#840

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

If you know anything about brewing you will know that a fermentation vessel will have three levels in it. “Bottoms” is the dead yeast which will go to waste, then the good beer, followed by “Tops” which is the live yeast and can either go to waste or be recovered into the Yeast propagation plant. The guy I was working with knew exactly the timing of this process, but unfortunately the lift that he used had broken down, meaning that he hurled by me in a desperate attempt to change the routing before the good beer started to go down the drain.

Quote

05-24-2021 , 04:20 PM

#841

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

A rare serious post
I think that it is well known that the internet misses subtle ways that humans interact with each other.
In real life I am known for my kindness, support and making people laugh but on the internet I seem just to annoy people..
I think that this is due to my sarcastic sense of humour
For example when speaking with my brother I referred to his children as vermin and his wife as a fat *****, he instantly knew that this was my way of expressing my enormous affection for them

Quote

05-24-2021 , 10:30 PM

#842

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Another very supportive message in the quitting alcohol thread.
People seem to have an inbuilt desire to bully others, a mistake that I have been guilty of twice in my life.
The first time was at school when I mocked the school freak, probably slightly autistic, he responded by punching me in the face.I thought about things for a few seconds and realised that his reaction was justified.
The second time was when I referred to Steve as “A fat bastard “, he just said to me “Do you realise how hurtful that is?” Never did that again

Quote

05-24-2021 , 11:06 PM

#843

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

The last time that I saw John was when he vanished into the night with two extremely attractive female travel agents

Quote

05-24-2021 , 11:50 PM

#844

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Not that I mind a bit of vile personal abuse, something to do innit?

Quote

05-25-2021 , 12:34 AM

#845

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

A valve was removed from the control system but was still physically present and left open.
One of the operators ran into the control room and said “What’s going on? I started the transfer sequence and nothing has arrived in the filling vessel “
I took a quick look and said “Might have something to do with the steaming mass of green stuff on the cooking room floor “

Quote

05-25-2021 , 01:49 AM

#846

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

I don’t know if this is a thing in the US but in the UK “Going for a smoke behind the bike shed” is a common school meme. The smoking shelter in the coca cola factory in Wakefield is actually located behind the bike shed, which always made me smile when I went out for a cigarette.

Quote

05-25-2021 , 12:11 PM

#847

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Like any right thinking person I am a huge fan of smart arse left wing leaning women. AOC used to have the space to herself, but then Jen Psaki turns up, leaving me in a slight case of confusion as to who I should love the most,

Quote

05-25-2021 , 08:02 PM

#848

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

I have had an idea.
The condition of having lose bowels should be renamed “Direrear”, not only is this accurate it is also possible to spell.

Quote

05-25-2021 , 11:15 PM

#849

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

Try not to get fecal impaction, it is an agonising, life threatening condition which people will take the piss out of you for getting

Quote

05-26-2021 , 09:59 AM

#850

Rebelp

banned

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 3,773

When I dropped my hat in a car in saint Petersburg my colleagues decided to take it on world tour. This included Siberia at -30 Australia at +40 and playing a game of cards against opponents made of Lego

Quote

Page 34 of 45

First

14 24 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 44

Last

Post Reply Subscribe

...

Page 34 of 45

First

14 24 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 44

Last