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Old 04-29-2021, 08:16 PM   #751
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

From Monty Python “200 metres freestyle for non swimmers “
“We’ll bring you back when they have finished fishing out the corpses”
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Old 04-30-2021, 06:57 AM   #752
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Samson has spelled out the word “Pork” in snot on the window.
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Old 04-30-2021, 09:04 AM   #753
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Re Tom Jones
Being a handsome brute of a man who can sing like an angel and express his emotional vulnerability is a good way to get the girls. Pretty hard trick to pull off though
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Old 04-30-2021, 01:12 PM   #754
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Note that I never tried it on with the lovely Andrea, after we had supper we retired to our separate rooms and the waiter said with a slight expression of surprise “Separate rooms eh?”
We were commissioning a beer filter before anyone asks.
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Old 04-30-2021, 02:15 PM   #755
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Probably should have, being a kind hearted girl I would think that the least that I would have got was a quick BJ
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Old 04-30-2021, 06:23 PM   #756
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

I have worked with the manager of the alphabeti spaghetti production line, a very fine man
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Old 05-01-2021, 09:52 AM   #757
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Look don’t **** with me! Unless you are at least reasonably good looking, in which case feel free to carry on.
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Old 05-01-2021, 12:07 PM   #758
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Besides seeing a girls nips for the first time I also got to see a Phantom taking off with the afterburners on close up. 1976 was a good year for me.
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Old 05-01-2021, 03:50 PM   #759
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

My brother worried that I was not feeding the dog, I explained that he is a greedy bastard who’s method of attracting your attention is to violently head butt you, so this was not a very likely occurrence.
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Old 05-01-2021, 06:54 PM   #760
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Couple of Hienz things
The reason that you like the stuff is because of the mouth texture caused by a cooking mechanism called steam shear

My boss once turned up and decided to sort the paperwork out when I had been working for 16 hours and was desperately trying to sort the system out, I told him to piss off

The “We never drop anything on the floor “ statement was slightly undermined when we had a slight mishap and the staff immediately went into a well drilled routine of brushing the waste down the drains
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Old 05-02-2021, 07:13 AM   #761
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

I have just “Handed my carpets over “ to a very large fellow so I am a bit sore at the moment
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Old 05-02-2021, 05:18 PM   #762
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Bit of a fecal impaction update. Developing abdominal pain, lower back pain than is radiating into my testicles, This is less enjoyable than you might think.
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Old 05-02-2021, 05:56 PM   #763
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Small niece update
If I ever find out who it was that raped Daisy I will kill them, there is no question about this.
Issys decision to take a crap arts degree has led to her career in retail management involving moving from checkout 1 to checkout 2
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Old 05-02-2021, 06:58 PM   #764
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Young Helen(My godmother 82 years old)
Two nations etc.
“I am proud of the way that I have raised my son, he may be gay but he has never had a *** in his life”
Also broke out of a mental institute to visit my mother after she had a heart attack

Last edited by Rebelp; 05-02-2021 at 07:04 PM. Reason: Starred out word is F A G
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Old 05-02-2021, 09:44 PM   #765
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Niece update
Just remembered this
Because my brother is a vegetarian we skipped the usual roast dinner when I went round for lunch
Daisy had just returned from her first stint at university , and said to Dianne “Mum, it’s like you have just stabbed me in the heart “
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Old 05-02-2021, 10:58 PM   #766
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Don’t ever underestimate me, I am 5’ 10 inches tall and weigh 72.5 kilograms. You should be able to complete the estimate using nothing more than a compass and a slide rule.
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Old 05-03-2021, 08:12 AM   #767
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Forty years ago Rob told me “You are very good at coping, but no good at managing”
He was hung like an exceptionally well endowed donkey, not that I was looking, you just could not miss the bloody great thing
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Old 05-03-2021, 08:42 PM   #768
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Brother #2 is a bit of a worrier
I told him that I had managed to bathe but had not got dressed yet because it seemed a bit pointless.
“You do know that you will have get dressed before you let the dog out?”
“I am quite aware that a 60 year old man appearing naked in front of a 20 year old girl may have sad consequences “
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Old Yesterday, 06:01 AM   #769
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Quick lovely Andrea update. She did say “Whatever “ in a meeting with senior management, she told me afterwards that she was slightly embarrassed by this.
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Old Yesterday, 03:03 PM   #770
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

You will occasionally see posts saying “I can’t stand live poker, it involves interacting with smelly stupid people.” Unless you are an alien being who is hygienically perfect and super smart you belong in the same group.Try a little understanding.
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Old Yesterday, 04:31 PM   #771
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Since my brain has gone Samson is a bit worried. I told him “It’s ok old chap things will work out, or not, sort of a 50/50 thing “
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Old Yesterday, 07:04 PM   #772
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Never forget something that I can’t quite remember , probably something to do with amnesia
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Old Today, 02:55 AM   #773
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

To R&R, I am allowed to post in the LC Thread, and as far as I can see my recent posts have been at least vaguely connected to whatever the previous poster had mentioned
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Old Today, 04:57 PM   #774
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Fecal Impaction update. The situation has improved somewhat A hospitalisation and a couple of Enemas have enabled the evacuation of a large mass.
I am interested in how things work, a nurse explained that the I had “High level “ impaction, the Expression “High Level “ refers to the fact that the mass extends physically high in the bowels., this creates the fun problem that even if you clear the mass from the lower bowel you are left with a hardened mass in the upper bowel which will move downwards to fill the void, this can perforate the intestine on its way causing peritonitis.
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Old Today, 07:42 PM   #775
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Re: Rebels Ruminations

Mentioned this in the Quitting Alcohol thread.
Because the staff understandably didn’t realise how quickly my withdrawal symptoms would develop I developed alcoholic hallucinations and left the hospital in a state of terror and confusion.

A young woman realised that I was incapable of navigation and walked me down to the convenience store where I have got some temporary relief by buying alcohol. I do know that I need to quit the stuff,

I have no idea why a stranger would take the time out to help someone that they don’t know out, but she did. She also said “Do you need some water? and when I said “Yes” she gave me a bottle and said “Keep it”
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