We are in the same boat. I am 39, my wife is 39. I want my daughter to have a sibling but I'm unsure if it's the "correct" decision in light of my family history when it comes to male life expectancy.

I'm really torn. I'm feeling my years already at 39, I worry about having a child at this age. I don't know if it's a good thing or bad thing to decide on having a child just so my daughter can have someone after we are gone.

Totally conflicted, and any thoughts on the matter would be appreciated.

Didnt know this was a thread. Just found out two days ago that we are expecting our second, our first is 11 months old, so quite a quick turnaround. First one was a boy so I suppose I'm hoping for a girl this time but honestly dont really care either way. Its probably been discussed in the 26 pages of this thread that I'm not gonna skim through, but experiences or rationales for choosing not to find out? For our first one we felt so unprepared with everything that we just didnt want to add in the stress of not knowing and having to sort of plan for both sexes, but in hindsight it really is sort of trivial and wouldn't have changed anything really. With this one we have discussed it briefly but havent decided yet. Thoughts?

edit: guess people post pictures in here ha

What does your wife want?

vhawk01 - What an adorable baby you have! Sooo cute. Congrats on the pregnancy!

Gonna have a girl!

The names from friends are already coming in. I'm not really paying attention.

The wife and I are going to create a list of about 15 names each, then hand it off to the other and start the veto process until we agree on one.

Yeah. Our plan is to not tell anyone until it's on the birth certificate (when that time comes; no updates here). Then they have to like it, bite their tongues, or sound like enormous *******s.

My wife and I named our daughter after her birth. We were still undecided (we were down to two names) and it took us a couple of days after birth to finally decide on one.

Posting itt for baby shower hype. Today the wife and I get to load up on goodies. It's our second child so I got a lot of stuff out of the way this time around lol

She wants another, but she doesn't want to go through the pain of the infant years again. The infant years were just really tough for us. We are both career people and work a lot. Having another child would just make things so much more stressful.

We pretty much have to decide by the end of this year. It's 50/50 at this point. I honestly think we'll wind up not having one, but if she really wants one I'm ok with it. I'm OK with not having another too, lol.

It'd be a lot easier to decide if one of us stayed home.

Bump because here we go again. MrsWookie at about 5.5 weeks now. We'll see about an ultrasound next week or so.

Congrats Wookie!

LET THE WOOKIE WIN!

Nice congrats. I've got another one on the way as well, at about 20 weeks right now this one's gonna be a girl

Congrats vhawk! That's great news.

same deal w/us right now for sure, would love another one but struggle with how it would affect careers and being able to give enough time to both. Still on the fence, leaning another one maybe in 6 months or so, we'll see

It's funny you said this today, as my wife reminded me that we need to become pregnant by end of this month if we are going to do it.

It's funny that the idea of economies becoming more advanced that birth rates go down is really true. Societal pressures make a huge difference.

Awesome news Wookie!

Since my younger was mentioned in post 1, I'll update that he's now 9, will be in fourth grade next year. Has had Type 1 diabetes since age six. Handles it like a ****ing champ. So proud of him. Having kids is amazing.

Thanks, CW, and glad it's going well, esp. after a concerning diagnosis. We had the first doctor visit yesterday, so we had the first ultrasound. Everything looks good so far: right size, right heartbeat, and some wiggles. Last time, the measured size on the ultrasound was quite a bit smaller compared to what we thought would have been the vicinity of conception, but the doc insisted we must have had that date wrong. It still kinda had us wondering if that was the first sign something was wrong, so seeing things line up more this time is reassuring. MrsWookie is also dealing with more nausea this time, so that's also supposed to be reassuring.

Well, I once again get to bump this thread for the wrong reasons. MrsWookie had some spotting Sunday night and was instantly heartbroken. Monday she called the doc's office, and was told that it was likely nothing, just a byproduct of sex, but go ahead and come in on Tuesday. Tuesday she went in, and the sonogram showed no heartbeat and that the fetus was already around a week dead. Today, MrsWookie went in for the D&C that she opted to have right away rather than fart around like last time for natural and then drug induced passage that didn't work. Sad again, but at least this time it didn't drag out for months or involve a horrendously embarrassing and bloody stint in a restaurant bathroom and so many more trips to the hospital. This approach also allows for testing to perhaps see why this time didn't work out. I'm not sure if it will be informative enough to guide future endeavors, but it may be satisfying to know what went wrong.

I'm so sad for you both.

My very best wishes to you and your wife. Take care of each other.

My condolences.

Oh man, I'm so sad to hear that.
I wish you and your wife the best for your future.

So sorry to hear, Wookie

So sorry Wookie.

Condolences Wookies.