Thanks. We're coping pretty well. No one, not even the doctors, tells you how a real miscarriage is supposed to go. MrsWookie had some spotting two nights ago and then had passed a fairly substantial clot in the middle of the night. We thought that was it. The good news was that we got our grieving out of the way yesterday morning, but we didn't plan on spending all of last night in the hospital. We were about to arrive at the restaurant for my birthday dinner when the bleeding started BAD. She soaked multiple pads through while sitting in the bathroom trying to figure out what to do with my mom trying to help. She got sorta stuffed with pads as best we could, and we had her sit on trash bags as we all rode from the restaurant to the ER. But even with all that, she was still to the point of bleeding through everything and dripping off the wheel chair she was sitting in as we waited in the waiting room for attention. But far be it for that to actually lead to any expedited attention or ordering a blood transfusion or some sort of other dramatic action. That sort of insane bleeding is apparently 100 percent standard, "oh, we'll check your vitals and do a pelvic exam and take some ultrasound pics to confirm that it is what everyone thinks it is, and then we'll send you on your way." Geez. That **** took over 6 hrs.
Sorry for your loss, wookie. I'm fairly new in the forums, but I can't relate to your situation. My wife is pregnant with our 2nd, but it is her 5th pregnancy and 3rd while with me. Even I child birth she swears the miscarriage was way worse pain wise. It naturally sits on our minds and is impossible to ignore, but life does go on.
Oh, MrWookie, I'm so sorry! Please let me know if you or your wife ever want to talk to me or my wife. Grieving can take a long time, and an unexpected path. I hope you have good friends and family for support. Take care.
Yeah, I think we are doing OK. MrsWookie is still waiting for everything to flush out, which apparently takes much longer than one would think. She's also been pretty tired and iron deficient, which makes sense. MOAR STEAK.
At this point, we're pretty much just looking forward to trying again in a couple months.
Mr Wookie,Earlier I posted I 'can't' relate when I meant my wife and I could, (spellcheck error) and I couldn't edit it for whatever reason. I am reaching out to you if you or your wife ever desire someone to talk to about this issue, we'd be more than glad to. Hope all is well moving forward!
My wife is 8 weeks along right now. This is her 2nd pregnacy, the first unfortunately also didn't work out, but she didn't have near the complications your wife had, and right now, I'm really nervous about this one going full term.
We decided to enlist a fertility specialist for this go around due to both our ages and did two rounds of IUI with Clomid before successful fertilization.
We had our first ultrasound at 6 weeks, and were able to hear the heartbeat and really didn't fully grasp everything until that happened. We go back for the 2nd ultrasound with the fertility specialist next week, then go to her OB/GYN at 12 weeks.
We're having to do a lot of explaining to friends who know us as the couple that enjoys beer and wine, and all the sudden, my wife is not drinking anything, and really has cut down her drinking during ovulation time up until her period, so we've had to deal with monthly "are you pregnant" questions. I've ended up telling them we are doing fertility treatments and my wife can't drink during it, but hopefully they don't ask for the next month.
We also have a friend who mis-carried over the summer at 8 weeks, so, right now, I'm just crossing my fingers and hope I don't get a text that she's bleeding. Keeping up hope for the week 9 ultrasound to show us a little fetus (should be at fetus stage by then).
oh no Wookie! I'm SO sorry to hear that . I feel just terrible for you and the mrs. The way you were treated in the ER sounds very cold and callous. You would think they could expedite things and give her 1st priority. oh my god that makes me so mad.
Eh, I may have made them seem more callous in that post than they were. The woman at reception was actually quite sympathetic and shared that she'd been through the same thing with her first pregnancy. But on a busy night at the hospital, she wasn't a huge risk of death. The docs and nurses all regarded this as pretty routine, which it was.
But thanks for the kind words, everyone. She's now just focused on getting healthier before getting back on the wagon. We did discover a modest thyroid issue through this that may have contributed to the miscarriage. We inadvertently had not bought ionized salt, and we seldom eat out, so she was a little iodine deficient and had one hormone or another out of whack. Hopefully this is addressable with salt and exercise and not drugs.
Happened to come upon this thread for the first time ever. For starters, my wife is due March 22nd. It will be our second, and it's a girl, so we will have two girls.
My condolences go out to you Wook. On Christmas of 2014 my wife had a miscarriage. It was the most surreal thing I ever really encountered. We actually had found out just a few days before that the pregnancy wasn't going to hold.
In addition to that my wife had super painful cysts that erupted at the same time she was actively having the miscarriage. On Christmas morning she was in a lot of pain from the cysts but we still went to her mother's for Christmas. When we get there the pain is so bad that she spends the whole time in her childhood bedroom with her whole family downstairs vaguely knowing what is going on. I spent the whole day going between hanging out with our then 1.5 year old daughter and the rest of the family downstairs and then going up and trying to comfort her knowing there was virtually nothing we can do. I used to debate if it was better to be around family when that was happening or if we should have stayed at home. I still don't know the answer.
What's crazy is that on Christmas morning 2013 my wife had me unwrap my first present of the morning and it was two positive pregnancy tests. Her pregnancy for our first went smooth with no hitches at all. This current one started off tough and we had to get a whole bunch of tests but everything took care of itself. She's still considered a risky pregnancy but only because of how it started and nothing that is currently happening.
I've had this thought a lot too about the miscarriage. The miscarriage hit my wife super hard, understandably. As a guy I don't think I had that automatic bond right out of the gate - so to speak. It was obviously hard for me, and some tears were had, but I will admit it didn't have a super long lasting impact on me. Well, not as long as it has had for my wife. I've never really wrote about this experience before so maybe I was supposed to find this thread today for some reason.
I'm sorry for your loss and for everyone else that has ever had to experience something like that.
There's been a lot of highs and lows lately. I haven't been in here in months...
Sorry to hear Wookie. Scolling through since the September posts, I felt thrilled and then sad in the course of about 30 seconds. Keep trying, and take any advice that diebitter offers. He seems to know stuff.
Congrats and good luck to BuckyK, thedeezy, olbond, and Tragichero!
biggerboat, I chuckled .
Here's the original inspiration for this thread. She just turned 9. Seriously!
Is she still an only child/grandchild? I haven't read the entire thread.
An update on my side: We are approaching week 12, and received a negative on the chromosomal abnormality test. Apparently, we can know the sex based on the test, but I'm trying to get my wife to wait until we go to the OB/GYN on Tuesday.
We may or may not make our announcement this week to all our friends. We planned on next week, but the wife is excited and might not be able to hold off.
Is she still an only child/grandchild? I haven't read the entire thread
Yes, and at this point no chance for any competition. Both my and my wife's siblings have taken themselves out of the gene pool either by choice or by age...
For any only children out there:
What have been the pros and cons of growing up an only child?
What do you wish your parents did differently?
What things would you suggest to parents of 'only' kids?