The name's Bond...James Bond
07-12-2013
, 06:29 PM
Moonraker
Not a great Bond. This one took it very cartoonish, dispensing completely with any sort of plot or progression that could be considered realistic. The detective-work and plot driven by ridiculous coincidence would have been too silly for the 60s Batman, and when it did try and be real Bond, it merely felt like a tired retread of old Bonds. Some of my problems:
- Jaws is completely indestructable this time. He's pretty much a precursor for Arnie's Terminator in this one, whether it be falling from thousands of feet with a failed parachute, going over a massive waterfall, and so on...
- Moore looks haggard at this point, the low point being the part where he has to wrestle with what looks like a toy python in a small pool
- The stupid music cues. We get the 5 notes from Close Encounters, the Magnificent Seven and so on at various points.
- The monastery that's a secret training ground for commandos, just because Bond's meeting Q there. Bond casually opening a door to see two "monks" kicking the **** out of each other...what the **** is that about?
- The riff on the scene in The Spy Who Loved Me when the cool car comes up the beach and freaks out the holidaymakers...YEAH, THAT'S DO THAT AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME WITH A GONDOLAH THAT'S A HOVERCRAFT, BUT IN ST MARKS SQUARE, VENICE. AND NOT ONLY WILL WE HAVE A GUY WITH A BOTTLE DOING A COMEDY DOUBLE-TAKE AT THE BOTTLE, WE'LL GET A PIGEON TO DO A DOUBLE-TAKE TOO.
- The complete lack of sex. Holly Goodhead looks okay I guess if you like them severe and slightly androgynous, as do the other girls, but they look antisceptic and sexless, and it's just bland.
- When Bond identifies the source of a toxin to belong to a certain orchid that grows in a certain place (shades of 60's Batman levels of detective work), and goes there in a brilliant speedboat...AND THERE'S A GANG OF GUYS DRESSED IN YELLOW JUMPSUITS WAITING THERE...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SOUTH AMERICAN RAINFOREST. WHAT, THEY'RE JUST WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO START SHOOTING AT???? Oh, and Jaws happens to be there too.
- At one point, Bond kicks Jaws in the lovespuds, and there's a distinct CLANG. WTF?
Okay, it was silly, but despite the above, there was a few things I liked. I liked the fights, especially in the glass museum/shop place and the cable car. Despite the ridiculous setup, I liked the speedboat sequence. I really liked the bit where a sniper is about to take out Bond whilst he's out shooting with Drax, and Bond takes him out first. I liked some of the outer-space special effects shots. And dammit, I like Richard Kiel's Jaws.
So I didn't hate it - to be fair I was entertained in a kind of enraging way - but it made me roll my eyes so much I still can't look down properly.
58/100
Not a great Bond. This one took it very cartoonish, dispensing completely with any sort of plot or progression that could be considered realistic. The detective-work and plot driven by ridiculous coincidence would have been too silly for the 60s Batman, and when it did try and be real Bond, it merely felt like a tired retread of old Bonds. Some of my problems:
- Jaws is completely indestructable this time. He's pretty much a precursor for Arnie's Terminator in this one, whether it be falling from thousands of feet with a failed parachute, going over a massive waterfall, and so on...
- Moore looks haggard at this point, the low point being the part where he has to wrestle with what looks like a toy python in a small pool
- The stupid music cues. We get the 5 notes from Close Encounters, the Magnificent Seven and so on at various points.
- The monastery that's a secret training ground for commandos, just because Bond's meeting Q there. Bond casually opening a door to see two "monks" kicking the **** out of each other...what the **** is that about?
- The riff on the scene in The Spy Who Loved Me when the cool car comes up the beach and freaks out the holidaymakers...YEAH, THAT'S DO THAT AGAIN, BUT THIS TIME WITH A GONDOLAH THAT'S A HOVERCRAFT, BUT IN ST MARKS SQUARE, VENICE. AND NOT ONLY WILL WE HAVE A GUY WITH A BOTTLE DOING A COMEDY DOUBLE-TAKE AT THE BOTTLE, WE'LL GET A PIGEON TO DO A DOUBLE-TAKE TOO.
- The complete lack of sex. Holly Goodhead looks okay I guess if you like them severe and slightly androgynous, as do the other girls, but they look antisceptic and sexless, and it's just bland.
- When Bond identifies the source of a toxin to belong to a certain orchid that grows in a certain place (shades of 60's Batman levels of detective work), and goes there in a brilliant speedboat...AND THERE'S A GANG OF GUYS DRESSED IN YELLOW JUMPSUITS WAITING THERE...IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SOUTH AMERICAN RAINFOREST. WHAT, THEY'RE JUST WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO START SHOOTING AT???? Oh, and Jaws happens to be there too.
- At one point, Bond kicks Jaws in the lovespuds, and there's a distinct CLANG. WTF?
Okay, it was silly, but despite the above, there was a few things I liked. I liked the fights, especially in the glass museum/shop place and the cable car. Despite the ridiculous setup, I liked the speedboat sequence. I really liked the bit where a sniper is about to take out Bond whilst he's out shooting with Drax, and Bond takes him out first. I liked some of the outer-space special effects shots. And dammit, I like Richard Kiel's Jaws.
So I didn't hate it - to be fair I was entertained in a kind of enraging way - but it made me roll my eyes so much I still can't look down properly.
58/100
Last edited by diebitter; 07-12-2013 at 06:34 PM.
07-12-2013
, 07:10 PM
07-13-2013
, 12:59 PM
07-15-2013
, 01:25 PM
07-15-2013
, 10:46 PM
07-20-2013
, 09:00 PM
For Your Eyes Only
A step up from Moonraker in my opinion, here we have Bond doing a bit of a mini-reboot, with a mission that isn't about destroying the world but about recovering an encryption machine that puts at risk the entire nuclear submarine capability of the UK. We're back to basics here, with Bond being a bit more of the agent we saw in, say, Live and Let Die - a more gritty, realistic Bond. Moore is looking younger and fitter here than in Moonraker (though he still looks quite old), and it worked in part. The best scene showing this is a scene where a bad guy is in a car hanging off a cliff, and Bond angrily boots the side of the car so it goes over because the guy has done some over-the-line things. Now, that's Bond.
There were some good action sequences, and amusing was the telegraphing of Bond going back to basics when some bad guys tried to break into his Lotus - and it explodes - leading him to escape in the most non-Bond car ever. Good sequence though. There was also a pretty good ski-action sequence with Bond skiing down a Louge run and a motorbiker chasing him. There was also a reasonable end sequence where Bond and friends infiltrate commando-style a mountaintop retreat (shades of OHMSS).
The opening sequence was also interesting, with Bond visiting the grave of his dead wife. We clearly see her date of death as 1969, which may be some acknowledgement that this is indeed an older Bond. Then he gets in a helicopter controlled by Blofeld, and various fun shenanegins ensue.
There were problems though. There's a scene near the beginning where Q and Bond are using some gizmo to identify a bad guy which using computer graphics that seem to come out of the old BBC TV adaptation of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and it feels completely bloated and unnecessary, and adds to some creakiness in the movie. The female lead is attractive in a severe kind of way, and again as with Moonraker, she's not really sexy in a oldschool Bond way, but in an antisceptic way. Finally, there's a scene at the end where there's a comedic dialogue between Margaret Thatcher and a parrot (she thinks she's talking to Bond) that's horrible.
Also, Moore is just too old for two of the three "love interests" in the movie, both Melina and Bibi, especially Bibi, but thankfully the script acknowledges the latter case, at least, and has Bond act fatherly rather than seductive to her.
Some other notes of interest: My wife smiled whenever Melina's name was mentioned, and I asked her why, and she told me "Melina" is a medical term for blood in your stool...nice. Also, this movie has a Bond girl played by Cassandra Harris, who was Pierce Brosnan's wife at the time (she has died since), and it was Cassandra who introduced Pierce to Cubby Broccoli.
The theme song here is passable, at best. I also think this is the one and only time we see the singer of a Bond song in the opening credits. Probably because Sheena Easton was quite a looker.
Not a great Bond, but an improvement on Moonraker
63/100
A step up from Moonraker in my opinion, here we have Bond doing a bit of a mini-reboot, with a mission that isn't about destroying the world but about recovering an encryption machine that puts at risk the entire nuclear submarine capability of the UK. We're back to basics here, with Bond being a bit more of the agent we saw in, say, Live and Let Die - a more gritty, realistic Bond. Moore is looking younger and fitter here than in Moonraker (though he still looks quite old), and it worked in part. The best scene showing this is a scene where a bad guy is in a car hanging off a cliff, and Bond angrily boots the side of the car so it goes over because the guy has done some over-the-line things. Now, that's Bond.
There were some good action sequences, and amusing was the telegraphing of Bond going back to basics when some bad guys tried to break into his Lotus - and it explodes - leading him to escape in the most non-Bond car ever. Good sequence though. There was also a pretty good ski-action sequence with Bond skiing down a Louge run and a motorbiker chasing him. There was also a reasonable end sequence where Bond and friends infiltrate commando-style a mountaintop retreat (shades of OHMSS).
The opening sequence was also interesting, with Bond visiting the grave of his dead wife. We clearly see her date of death as 1969, which may be some acknowledgement that this is indeed an older Bond. Then he gets in a helicopter controlled by Blofeld, and various fun shenanegins ensue.
There were problems though. There's a scene near the beginning where Q and Bond are using some gizmo to identify a bad guy which using computer graphics that seem to come out of the old BBC TV adaptation of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and it feels completely bloated and unnecessary, and adds to some creakiness in the movie. The female lead is attractive in a severe kind of way, and again as with Moonraker, she's not really sexy in a oldschool Bond way, but in an antisceptic way. Finally, there's a scene at the end where there's a comedic dialogue between Margaret Thatcher and a parrot (she thinks she's talking to Bond) that's horrible.
Also, Moore is just too old for two of the three "love interests" in the movie, both Melina and Bibi, especially Bibi, but thankfully the script acknowledges the latter case, at least, and has Bond act fatherly rather than seductive to her.
Some other notes of interest: My wife smiled whenever Melina's name was mentioned, and I asked her why, and she told me "Melina" is a medical term for blood in your stool...nice. Also, this movie has a Bond girl played by Cassandra Harris, who was Pierce Brosnan's wife at the time (she has died since), and it was Cassandra who introduced Pierce to Cubby Broccoli.
The theme song here is passable, at best. I also think this is the one and only time we see the singer of a Bond song in the opening credits. Probably because Sheena Easton was quite a looker.
Not a great Bond, but an improvement on Moonraker
63/100
Last edited by diebitter; 07-20-2013 at 09:09 PM.
07-21-2013
, 10:31 AM
Moonraker by Ian Fleming
The third novel featuring James Bond has Bond working entirely in England, first helping M out in a private matter involving card cheating, where the cheat is the industrialist Hugo Drax. It then moves on to Bond being part of the security for a massive, important project masterminded by Drax, the building of an atomic-warhead rocket called Moonraker, built to protect England.
But not everything is what it seems, as the man has a staff of 50 German technicians (this is set maybe 7-8 years after WW2) and a proclivity to megalomania...
Really nice, direct thriller, with Bond suffering and trying in desperate circumstances to outwite this mad genius. Very low-key in places, but very enjoyable. Fleming is a great one for producing a page-turner when the narrative and story is simple and direct.
The third novel featuring James Bond has Bond working entirely in England, first helping M out in a private matter involving card cheating, where the cheat is the industrialist Hugo Drax. It then moves on to Bond being part of the security for a massive, important project masterminded by Drax, the building of an atomic-warhead rocket called Moonraker, built to protect England.
But not everything is what it seems, as the man has a staff of 50 German technicians (this is set maybe 7-8 years after WW2) and a proclivity to megalomania...
Really nice, direct thriller, with Bond suffering and trying in desperate circumstances to outwite this mad genius. Very low-key in places, but very enjoyable. Fleming is a great one for producing a page-turner when the narrative and story is simple and direct.
07-21-2013
, 07:14 PM
Octopussy (1983)
A Very mundane Bond with silliness throughout, but 2 redeeming features. Maud Adams is the sexiest Bond girl since...Maud Adams (in Man With the Golden Gun, playing a different character) and the first really sexual female we've seen in a Bond for a while; and the action sequences are top notch when not being undercut by silly jokes. For example, there's a sequences where Bond is being hunted through a jungle, which is going well, but his drama is undercut by a joke where he faces a tiger and tries to get it to sit like a dog, and then we see him swinging through the trees, doing a Tarzan call...sheesh.
However, ignoring this, there are good action sequences, such as the opening sequence where Bond flies this cool miniplane, and the end sequence where Bond is hanging onto a flying plane is really terrific, if unbelievable. I even liked the final sequence where lady ninjas in red lycra take out armed men in the villain's lair.
The plot makes little sense, but it does contain some cool stuff like deadly knife-throwing brothers, a yoyo that's a buzzsaw, and a sequence involving a clown being hunted through the woods. Any movie that has a clown being hunted through the woods cannot be all bad.
One thing that also bothers me in these last few Bonds is that Q has somehow become in-field support - he's an old dude that should be in a lab, for goodness sake.
I quite like the song "All Time High" - at least they didn't try and jam the word Octopussy in the lyrics, and Rita Coolidge sings like honey dripped in your ears.
63/100
A Very mundane Bond with silliness throughout, but 2 redeeming features. Maud Adams is the sexiest Bond girl since...Maud Adams (in Man With the Golden Gun, playing a different character) and the first really sexual female we've seen in a Bond for a while; and the action sequences are top notch when not being undercut by silly jokes. For example, there's a sequences where Bond is being hunted through a jungle, which is going well, but his drama is undercut by a joke where he faces a tiger and tries to get it to sit like a dog, and then we see him swinging through the trees, doing a Tarzan call...sheesh.
However, ignoring this, there are good action sequences, such as the opening sequence where Bond flies this cool miniplane, and the end sequence where Bond is hanging onto a flying plane is really terrific, if unbelievable. I even liked the final sequence where lady ninjas in red lycra take out armed men in the villain's lair.
The plot makes little sense, but it does contain some cool stuff like deadly knife-throwing brothers, a yoyo that's a buzzsaw, and a sequence involving a clown being hunted through the woods. Any movie that has a clown being hunted through the woods cannot be all bad.
One thing that also bothers me in these last few Bonds is that Q has somehow become in-field support - he's an old dude that should be in a lab, for goodness sake.
I quite like the song "All Time High" - at least they didn't try and jam the word Octopussy in the lyrics, and Rita Coolidge sings like honey dripped in your ears.
63/100
07-23-2013
, 07:07 PM