Didn't know where else to post this, probably tl;dr but what can you do.
After going missing two days ago,
Scott Hutchison, lead singer of Frightened Rabbit, was confirmed dead by police this morning. I can't help but be overwhelmed with sadness. I've never been one to mourn these types of deaths, I didn't actually know this person, who am I to grieve? In fact, I've always found the people who make long social media posts about famous people's deaths incredibly self-serving. So it isn't lost on me that my sentiments are probably hypocritical. Regardless, I wanted to take a minute and detail why he meant so much to me, and why, despite prior convictions, I can't help but feel sad.
As a teenager I went through something I'd imagine many people go through- I fell in love and had my heart broken. While that was hardly unique, what did make it kind of different, was prior to our break-up we were apart of a tight group of friends. After the awkwardness of a break-up our friends sort of had to choose a side- no one was in the wrong (although I would have given a different answer had you asked me at the time obviously) but it was tough for us to hang out in the same circle, at least in the immediate aftermath. So there I was, 16, devastated and alone. I felt like I had nobody.
Not too long after, the album "
The Midnight Organ Fight" came out. This wasn't the first, nor will it be the last, break-up album. But for some reason it resonated with me unlike any album I had heard before. I think what stood out the most to me, aside from enjoying everything about the sound, was his ability to explicitly state the wide range of emotions I was feeling, but do so in words I would never have been able to put together myself. Every piece of the story, from beginning to end, was so incredibly clever and hit me in a way that I had never been hit before. At a time that I felt incredibly alone, it was as if he was reminding me that I wasn't.
Filled with catchy lyrics and wonderful melodies, The Midnight Organ Fight quickly received critical acclaim. Starting with the song "The Modern Leper", the album basically paints the picture of what it's like to deal with heartbreak. It touches on the awkwardness of random sex, feelings of hatred for the other party, feelings of inadequacy, and what you're left with when it's all said and done. The last song on the album, Floating in the Forth, Scott writes about a suicidal man, consumed by his heartbreak, pondering if it's time for him to end things-
Quote:
Am I ready to leap
Is there peace beneath
The roar of the Forth road bridge?
On the Northern side
There's a Fife of mine
And a boat in the port for me,
And fully clothed, I float away
(I'll float away)
Down the Forth, into the sea
I'll steer myself
Through drunken waves
These manic gulls
Scream it's okay
Shortly after, he closes the song by humming "think I'll save suicide for another year." I've always found it to be a beautiful and upbeat way to end the album. To me, he was saying that while having your heart broken feels like the end of the world, it isn't. There are much bigger and worse problems out there. It provided me with a glimmer of hope and a way to tell myself it was going to get better. Ten years later Scott's body was found at Port Edgar, between the Forth Road Bridge and Queensferry Crossing, floating in the forth. I got past my heartbreak, but, apparently, a part of him never did.
No matter what happens nothing can take away the good and happiness that he brought to me. I truly do believe that that final song on the album was meant to be his way of ending the story on a high note. He was trying to remind everyone that these feelings of loneliness caused by your heartbreak shouldn't be the end, and it will be alright. Unfortunately I just don't think he could remind himself of that, and he reached a point where he truly believed that the only peace for him was located beneath the roar of the Forth Road bridge.
I think what saddens me most is this is how he'll be remembered. With that in mind, one of my closest friends and fellow Frightened Rabbit fan created an e-mail,
videosforfr@gmail.com, with the hope of creating a compilation video of people expressing the happiness that Frightened Rabbit brought them, or of live experiences they had listening to their music, or at concerts, etc. Anything. If you have never heard this album, or any other Frightened Rabbit songs, I highly recommend it to anyone, even those in a great place in their lives. At its simplest core, it is great music. Lastly, I want to offer a reminder to anyone who reads this and isn't at a great point in their lives, that you are not alone, and it's never too late to turn it around. Even if you feel like you've reached the end, please try to find someone who can help you. Hell, PM me on here and air out your grievances. It can always get better.