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Originally Posted by John Cole
I always become melancholy this time of year. New Year's Eve was my unofficial anniversary, and, still, thirteen years later I miss my wife. Family and friends help.
Last night, my dear friend and colleague, Ellen, invited me to dinner, so I spent a lovely evening with Ellen, her husband, her daughter, and her son. Ellen and her husband adopted three children from Korea. The oldest son, whose wedding I attended this summer, is a pharmacist living in California. Their daughter teaches at a local private school. Their youngest son suffers from severe developmental delays. He can barely speak, can be prone to outbursts, and requires care throughout the day. But he can express himself. Seth has been in dance classes since he was young. Ellen was a professional ballet dancer, so dance is important to Ellen and Seth. He watches and mimics YouTube dance videos, but he's also a pretty accomplished Irish step dancer, which he loves to demonstrate--rather loudly with a great deal of stomping.
Seth also expresses himself in other ways. I have been a regular guest in Ellen's home during my tenure as department chair and dean these past seven years. Ellen invites me for Christmas Eve, Passover, Yom Kippur, and other holidays. Seth has warmed to me during that time. I was a bit ta
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I was a bit taken aback at first. (If you haven't guessed, I'm reserved--some would say cold as ice.) Seth will sit next to me at dinner, lean his head on my shoulder, or stand up and kiss the top of my head. Our friend and my former secretary, Carol, receives the same treatment.
We're the lucky ones.
Ellen and her husband have raised a special son who can and does engage people and the world despite his handicaps. They have been great parents who have devoted much to all their children, but Seth has always needed more attention and will always need more. So if I recoil at "******ed," I do so because of Seth and many like him I've known over the years. It's not a matter of political correctness. It's a matter of love and respect.