It's Summer Because I Say So; Lounge LC Thread - Page 3 - The Lounge Discussion and Review on Literature, Arts, Culture

Bad enough that my ex-girlfriend, after no communication for almost two years, asks me to come to West Virginia to help her find a place to live in Virginia and help her move.

Women continue to confuse me. Fortunately, my daughter is a fountain of good advice, some of which I listen to.

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06-26-2017 , 07:46 PM

#52

MrWookie

Don't Call Me Meredith

Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 94,159

The reasonable position is to not communicate with her about that sort of stuff by any medium. Texting is nothing special.

06-26-2017 , 07:48 PM

#53

John Cole

Lounge Nighthawk

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 18,181

Ah, I get your stance now, Wookie.

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06-26-2017 , 07:59 PM

#54

daveT

S.A.G.E. Master

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 23,955

The first several girls I "dated" were confused with some other guy or girl. Many of them were pregnant a few month after we stopped speaking.

I eventually turned 25 and realized I probably shouldn't bother with all that drama. It's unfortunate because younger women still want to find a sucker to get into all that with them, and for whatever reason, they think I'm just the person for that.

Nope, just walk away. You may think you are doing something good at first, but you are the one who gets over-invested and ends up losing in the long run.

06-26-2017 , 08:00 PM

#55

Dominic

Tripod

Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 74,263

Wait, did you agree to help the old GF move?? Why would she ask you that?? That's bizarre

06-26-2017 , 08:09 PM

#56

John Cole

Lounge Nighthawk

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 18,181

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dominic

Wait, did you agree to help the old GF move?? Why would she ask you that?? That's bizarre

Oh, I almost hate to answer this one. I told her I would help her look for a place and move. My daughter's suggestion was to ask her if she were ****ing nuts--and my daughter liked her. Only one friend knew I would offer to help her.

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06-26-2017 , 08:11 PM

#57

John Cole

Lounge Nighthawk

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 18,181

BTW, in her email asking me to help her, she ended it with "I know this is weird." I readily agreed to that.

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06-26-2017 , 08:18 PM

#58

Zeno

Le Misanthrope

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 22,356

Summer Romances are the best. - Mick Jagger

06-26-2017 , 08:20 PM

#59

lastcardcharlie

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 10,435

This is bull****. Everyone here knows the difference between right and wrong.

06-26-2017 , 08:22 PM

#60

John Cole

Lounge Nighthawk

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 18,181

Charlie, I think I know the difference between right and wrong, but others seem to think I'm far too rigid. Perhaps they are simply more fluid.

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06-26-2017 , 08:26 PM

#61

lastcardcharlie

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 10,435

"I always pass on good advice. It is never any use to oneself." -- Oscar Wilde

06-26-2017 , 08:26 PM

#62

Zeno

Le Misanthrope

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 22,356

John, Are you required to have a cell phone for work? Did the always nefarious "they" supply you with a work cell phone as needed or requested, or etc.? Do you use your own personal phone for work activities?

Did I not give some general advice not long ago about the idiocy of having a cell phone?

06-26-2017 , 08:30 PM

#63

Zeno

Le Misanthrope

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 22,356

It's tough to best an Oscar Wilde quote.

06-26-2017 , 08:35 PM

#64

Dominic

Tripod

Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 74,263

I'm fine with John not wanting to text with the married lady...I'd feel the same way.

But helping your ex move - in another state - is cray cray.

06-26-2017 , 08:47 PM

#65

John Cole

Lounge Nighthawk

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 18,181

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zeno

I'm not required, Zeno, but I often need to call and email department chairs at all hours. Things have been crazy at work for the past year, and using my cell phone is the only way I can keep up with everything. Having both a cell phone and Android Auto keeps me far too connected.

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06-26-2017 , 08:52 PM

#66

John Cole

Lounge Nighthawk

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 18,181

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dominic

I'm fine with John not wanting to text with the married lady...I'd feel the same way.

But helping your ex move - in another state - is cray cray.

Yeah, I know it's crazy, Dom, but over the years she's asked for very little. And it won't kill me to give up a week to help her. FWIW, only one person thinks I'm not crazy. You're in good company with those who think me crazy.

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06-27-2017 , 12:15 AM

#67

Phat Mack

Twat-Waffle

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 11,945

I don't see how texting can be a form of cheating. ****ing is cheating. Texting for cheating is a little too weird.

06-27-2017 , 12:17 AM

#68

R*R

I wish I was Einstein

Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 12,753

****ing is a superuser, texting is an angle.

06-27-2017 , 12:19 AM

#69

R*R

I wish I was Einstein

Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 12,753

Probably a bunch of long time married guys around here who kind of envy John for his women issues. Like me for example.

06-27-2017 , 12:22 AM

#70

daveT

S.A.G.E. Master

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 23,955

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phat Mack

I don't see how texting can be a form of cheating. ****ing is cheating. Texting for cheating is a little too weird.

The problem is that you become the emotional buffer for the entire trainwreck. You feel for her, want to help, and you get nothing out of it in the end, nor would you want to.

I'm all for helping friends out, but befriending a woman in an unhappy relationship makes you "that guy." You don't want to be "that guy."

John, I've done far crazier in my life. Helping the ex sounds harmless to me.

06-27-2017 , 12:23 AM

#71

John Cole

Lounge Nighthawk

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 18,181

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phat Mack

I don't see how texting can be a form of cheating. ****ing is cheating. Texting for cheating is a little too weird.

I think the physical cheating would be easier to live with, and forgive, in the long run if it only happened once. And I'm the old fashioned one here.

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06-27-2017 , 12:32 AM

#72

Phat Mack

Twat-Waffle

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 11,945

Quote:

Originally Posted by John Cole

My concerns are with propriety.

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Looks like 'propriety' hits the steep slope of its downward curve right about the Civil War.

I suggest warming up on Tinder for a couple of weeks, then giving us a full report.

Google Ngram Viewer: '[propriety]', 1800-2008 in English. https://books.google.com/ngrams/grap...priety%3B%2Cc0

06-27-2017 , 12:41 AM

#73

John Cole

Lounge Nighthawk

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 18,181

Quote:

Originally Posted by daveT

Dave,

I'm not. Nor do I wish to. But I was surprised a bit when I told her friend, whom I know well, that I don't text married women at the the reaction. I don't think it's perfectly innocent, but others seem not to agree with me.

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06-27-2017 , 12:44 AM

#74

Phat Mack

Twat-Waffle

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 11,945

Quote:

Originally Posted by daveT

The problem is that you become the emotional buffer for the entire trainwreck. You feel for her, want to help, and you get nothing out of it in the end, nor would you want to.

What is with these texts? What is going to be in them?

Her: wanna getta drink?
JC: Srry - playing poker

Not cheating, imo

Quote:

I'm all for helping friends out, but befriending a woman in an unhappy relationship makes you "that guy." You don't want to be "that guy."

John, I've done far crazier in my life. Helping the ex sounds harmless to me.

Yeah I don't have a problem with this. Sometimes when I couldn't make bail, or the ER wouldn't release me without being picked up, an ex was the only one who'd come get me. Always try to remain cordial with your exes.

Last edited by Phat Mack; 06-27-2017 at 12:48 AM. Reason: verb agreement

06-27-2017 , 12:52 AM

#75

John Cole

Lounge Nighthawk

Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 18,181

Quote:

Originally Posted by R*R

Probably a bunch of long time married guys around here who kind of envy John for his women issues. Like me for example.

I assiduously avoid women issues because I am technically the supervisor of most of the women I know, and I tend to be the shy, loner type around women I don't know. Things were much easier with the ex-girlfriend when we only saw each other a few times a year.

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