My new roommates, Sam and Dana moved into my flophouse about a week ago and they are really creeping me out.

I hadn't really talked to them much until last night, when Dana offered to make dinner for everyone. Making dinner for us all would have been a nice gesture, except without asking, she used my food to make dinner. She grilled up about 12 hamburgers using my meat. There was so much food leftover, she started giving hamburgers away to our neighbors.

Anyway, Sam, Dana and I were sitting around eating hamburgers when things started to get awkward. I asked them how they ended up living here and they explained that they had been sleeping together at Dana's ex-husband's house, but then Sam had a fistfight with the Dana's ex, so they had to move here. They had heard about the spare room from my neighbor, Tom.

I didn't want to talk anymore about their bizarre former living situation, so instead, I asked them how they knew our neighbor, Tom.

Sam says, “Tom? Hell, I've known Tom forever. I went to high school with Tom's younger sister and about 5 years later, Tom and I were in prison together.” I laughed a little because I thought he was kidding. BUTNAHHH. He was serious. Things got real quiet, so I tried to change the subject.

Me: So, you are from around here then?
Dana: Yeah, we both grew up here.
Me: Do you still have family here?
Sam: Yep, my son is 22 and Dana here has got two grandkids.

Again, I smiled a little and waited him for him to show some sign that he was joking because both of them look about 37 years old. BUTNAHHHH. Sam went right back to eating his burger. It was the most painfully awkward meal ever. I couldn't bring up anything without learning another disturbing fact about them. Neither of them had worked in about a year. After they found out that I played online poker for a living, they kept asking me when I was going to teach them how to play so they could make money, too.

I tried to telling them stories about my former flophouse roommates, but that didn't help. I told them about the crazy Jamaican girl who I was sleeping with that eventually tried to stab me with a butcher knife (http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/62...cluded-528846/), but Sam and Dana were not amused. Instead, they just kept asking me why I didn't beat the girl up after I took the knife away from her. Sam kept saying stuff like, “I wouldn't put up with that **** ever. If some bitch pulled a knife on me, I'd ****ing kill her.” Dana smiled and nodded.

I ate as fast as I could so I could get away from the these sketchy people and go back into my bedroom. I spent the next two hours playing poker and then I got up and walked toward the shared bathroom. The bathroom door was wide open, so without thinking, I walked right in. I had taken two steps into the bathroom before I noticed that Sam standing in front of the toilet. He wasn't peeing. He was just standing there silently with his dick in his hand. And then his head slowly turned toward me. And then he smiled.

I immediately went back in my room, peed in a Powerade bottle, and I haven't spoken to Sam or Dana since.

I've already talked to my landlord and I will be moving out at the end of the month. Any survival suggestions until then?

Cliffnotes: My roommates are scary people. I think Sam is considering raping me.

Threadsavers:

fist

started to read the thread, and then decided it was too long. moved on to the cliffs, and decided they didnt actually represent what was in the text

Pics of roommates

Sam is NOT going to rape you.

It would make a pretty good read if he did

danas gonna rape you

This is so mean, but I read the whole thing and laughed. I do feel for you, if this is not a level, but I couldn't help but chuckle.

Survival tip: keep your door locked. At all times.

The lock on my door is broken. No joke.

Not if it's as long as the **** posted above.

I can't see how I'm ever going to get pictures of the roommates because they scare me, but here's a picture of my bedroom door that separates me from them.



A few months ago, I was getting stoned in the common room with my former roommate and I didn't realize that the door was locked when I wanted to go back into my room. I pushed on the door hard and a totally busted the lock. It's held together now by tape:

Sick life.

Did you really use scotch tape to fix your door? That's insane

Wow, it sucks to be you. You better figure something out before they come for you. They probably just want you for a threesome.

.

There only needs to be a trivially small chance of this to happen to be pretty ****ing worried about it.

yeah... if you care any bout epic threads.. you better find some way of getting pics of the roommates

I'm not going to rule out the possibilty, but I just don't see how it's going to happen. The last thread I started was about a girl with a huge ego who was constantly begging to have her picture taken. This is a much more difficult situation.

If there is interest in the thread, I'll try to get pictures of them sometime in the future somwhow. But if the thread dies within a day, I'm not going to bust my ass to get pictures so I can bump a **** thread that no one wants to see again.

how is babby formed?

You're going to die

The best thing to do is squirt lube in your unerwear everday. It might be a little uncomftrable but better a little discomfort now then the terrible agony you will be in if you get raped with no lube.

the pics of the door made me lol, but i havent read anything. just guessing from the pics, id be scared for my live.

ok a few things:

1) i laughed my ass of several times throughout your story so A+
2) do not let these people kow ur wierded out by them, it will only trigger negative reactions. just be cool for the month and gtfo out and hopefully never see them again.
just try to be as ''normal'' as you can.

weeeeee im so glad i got to post this picture first



but yea, nice thread op, i loled

dude obv, thats like super standard to do when ur high. fixing things with ur hands? best thing ever.

oh and these ppl are likely crackheads...see this documentary for more info High on crack street

in after interest