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04-23-2018 , 02:09 PM
#101
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I would seriously classify lobster hunting as big game and illegalize the **** out of cooking them.
Stuff you would do if you were the President Quote
04-23-2018 , 02:11 PM
#102
Elmo543
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Build a 4 inch tall wall all the way around the white house to keep ants out. Make Russia pay for it.
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04-23-2018 , 02:15 PM
#103
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I would make billionaires spend a weekend per year living in/investigating prisons, psych wards, and other pillars of society that have totalitarian power. This would be aimed at repaying an equitable debt to society similar to what low earners forfeit every year.
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04-23-2018 , 02:17 PM
#104
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Elmo543
Build a 4 inch tall wall all the way around the white house to keep ants out. Make Russia pay for it.
You are hired as chief of staff. Welcome aboard.
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04-23-2018 , 02:27 PM
#105
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuma
You are hired as chief of staff. Welcome aboard.

I will not let you down, sir.
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04-23-2018 , 02:38 PM
#106
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If I were president I would vote for Tuma/Elmo party.
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04-23-2018 , 04:59 PM
#107
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I would barbecue steaks on the weekends
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04-23-2018 , 05:07 PM
#108
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I would collaborate on building the most impressive security system in the history of the world
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04-23-2018 , 05:11 PM
#109
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I’d take batting practice before Nats games. I’d retire back to the white house to watch the Yankees. I would clown Cashman via twitter.
Last edited by Tuma; 04-23-2018 at 05:30 PM.
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04-23-2018 , 09:10 PM
#110
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Give Andy Dick and Mike Tyson some testosterone supplements and schedule 1 controlled substances. Let them interview each member of congress individually while hooked to a polygraph test and air it live every evening at 6:30pm
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04-24-2018 , 12:09 AM
#111
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I would make the Timberwolves win a championship game.
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04-24-2018 , 03:42 AM
#112
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I'm gonna need a hacksaw
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AlwaysFolding
I would make the Timberwolves win a championship game.
Performing miracles?
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04-24-2018 , 08:56 AM
#113
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I have made peace with the office of president being a pretty crappy and useless job. I no longer wish to be the change I want to see in the world. Pour one out for the homies, I hear by resign from serving the public.
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04-24-2018 , 08:54 PM
#114
Elmo543
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tuma
I have made peace with the office of president being a pretty crappy and useless job. I no longer wish to be the change I want to see in the world. Pour one out for the homies, I hear by resign from serving the public.
You shall pour one out for the homies while drinking one.... and I'll see you back in the oval office in the am.
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04-24-2018 , 09:52 PM
#115
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Former president tuma cannot be reached. He is wasted and being rude to all passerbys. -tuma's secretary
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04-25-2018 , 11:05 AM
#116
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fidstar-poker
Performing miracles?
I am now the president, and thus I ensure the successes of my constituents, the T-wolves!
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05-06-2018 , 05:06 PM
#117
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I would take the fifth.
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05-07-2018 , 02:35 AM
#118
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I'm gonna need a hacksaw
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I would steal second.
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05-07-2018 , 06:11 PM
#119
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I'd put myself on the $350 bill.
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05-07-2018 , 06:13 PM
#120
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I would change the national anthem to a piece by Vivaldi. Everyone would stand again.
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05-07-2018 , 06:45 PM
#121
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I would masturbate in peace.
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05-18-2018 , 09:00 PM
#122
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I would play for pay.
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05-19-2018 , 03:18 AM
#123
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I'm gonna need a hacksaw
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I would have sponsored tweets.
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05-19-2018 , 07:53 AM
#124
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fidstar-poker
I would have sponsored tweets.
.
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05-25-2018 , 12:01 PM
#125
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I would issue commemorative medals for key events of my presidency before it is even clear that they will happen. Huge potential for rare collectibles!
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