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Old 04-23-2018, 02:09 PM   #101
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would seriously classify lobster hunting as big game and illegalize the **** out of cooking them.
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Old 04-23-2018, 02:11 PM   #102
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

Build a 4 inch tall wall all the way around the white house to keep ants out. Make Russia pay for it.
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Old 04-23-2018, 02:15 PM   #103
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would make billionaires spend a weekend per year living in/investigating prisons, psych wards, and other pillars of society that have totalitarian power. This would be aimed at repaying an equitable debt to society similar to what low earners forfeit every year.
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Old 04-23-2018, 02:17 PM   #104
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

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Build a 4 inch tall wall all the way around the white house to keep ants out. Make Russia pay for it.
You are hired as chief of staff. Welcome aboard.
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Old 04-23-2018, 02:27 PM   #105
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You are hired as chief of staff. Welcome aboard.

I will not let you down, sir.
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Old 04-23-2018, 02:38 PM   #106
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

If I were president I would vote for Tuma/Elmo party.
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Old 04-23-2018, 04:59 PM   #107
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would barbecue steaks on the weekends
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Old 04-23-2018, 05:07 PM   #108
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would collaborate on building the most impressive security system in the history of the world
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Old 04-23-2018, 05:11 PM   #109
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I’d take batting practice before Nats games. I’d retire back to the white house to watch the Yankees. I would clown Cashman via twitter.

Last edited by Tuma; 04-23-2018 at 05:30 PM.
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Old 04-23-2018, 09:10 PM   #110
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

Give Andy Dick and Mike Tyson some testosterone supplements and schedule 1 controlled substances. Let them interview each member of congress individually while hooked to a polygraph test and air it live every evening at 6:30pm
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Old 04-24-2018, 12:09 AM   #111
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would make the Timberwolves win a championship game.
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Old 04-24-2018, 03:42 AM   #112
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

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I would make the Timberwolves win a championship game.
Performing miracles?
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Old 04-24-2018, 08:56 AM   #113
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I have made peace with the office of president being a pretty crappy and useless job. I no longer wish to be the change I want to see in the world. Pour one out for the homies, I hear by resign from serving the public.
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Old 04-24-2018, 08:54 PM   #114
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

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I have made peace with the office of president being a pretty crappy and useless job. I no longer wish to be the change I want to see in the world. Pour one out for the homies, I hear by resign from serving the public.
You shall pour one out for the homies while drinking one.... and I'll see you back in the oval office in the am.
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Old 04-24-2018, 09:52 PM   #115
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

Former president tuma cannot be reached. He is wasted and being rude to all passerbys. -tuma's secretary
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Old 04-25-2018, 11:05 AM   #116
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

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Performing miracles?
I am now the president, and thus I ensure the successes of my constituents, the T-wolves!
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Old 05-06-2018, 05:06 PM   #117
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would take the fifth.
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Old 05-07-2018, 02:35 AM   #118
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would steal second.
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Old 05-07-2018, 06:11 PM   #119
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I'd put myself on the $350 bill.
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Old 05-07-2018, 06:13 PM   #120
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would change the national anthem to a piece by Vivaldi. Everyone would stand again.
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Old 05-07-2018, 06:45 PM   #121
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would masturbate in peace.
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Old 05-18-2018, 09:00 PM   #122
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would play for pay.
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Old 05-19-2018, 03:18 AM   #123
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would have sponsored tweets.
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Old 05-19-2018, 07:53 AM   #124
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

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I would have sponsored tweets.








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Old 05-25-2018, 12:01 PM   #125
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Re: Stuff you would do if you were the President

I would issue commemorative medals for key events of my presidency before it is even clear that they will happen. Huge potential for rare collectibles!
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