No

They like them shaved.

Mr Ballsack is now my favourite mascot for sporting events

You're a freak and a weird dude

Now that we are best mates with Jesus he says he wants to give you the ability to freeze time. During the frozen time you can do what ever you want. You can go and steal someone's wallet or whatever (yes Jesus is down with stealing now). He says you have 3 options:

1) You can freeze time for up to 5 seconds at a time (well it would seem like 5 seconds to you, but obviously 0 seconds for anyone else) and can do it as often as you want, but there must be a minimum of 30 seconds between each use
2) Freeze time for up to 5 minute at a time. Can only use once per day.
3) Can freeze time for up to 1 day. Can only use it three per year.

Which do you choose?

What is the brand of the freezer? Can I use it for pie and chicken and even chicken pie?

3) Freezing time for up to 1 day. Jesus and I are going into the bank robbing business, 3 times per year. Or maybe we will become the ultimate spy team for the CIA or Israeli Mossad. Is he technically still Jewish?

Option 2) please

5 sec is not enough, but you can do just about everything in 5min. (Robbing a bank included obv)

Everything that comes thrice a year is useless.

5 seonds at a time...i can dodge bullets, baby!

Why steal a bank when I can win every major tournaments by looking at my opponents hole cards every 30 seconds.

5 seconds is enough to save your life in a lot of situations.

5 seconds is also enough to slap you in the face mother ****er

so you don't think someone is going to notice you move? I mean your not going to get back to the exact same position in 5 seconds. The only time you are going to be able to use it (without becoming a wanted freak) is when no eyes are on you.

I'm gonna knock at your door fidstar and at the moment you answer i'll take my 5 seconds to slap you in the face you piece of *****.

you're mum will be glad to see you.

You're way too busy with c0cks to think about satisfying a MILF.

Ill go with 5 minutes.

I'm assuming if I take something that is in plain sight while time is frozen it will just disappear into thin air to everyone else.

If so, I am robbing all the green and black chips at the casino.

nice to know that you think your mother is a mother you'd like to ****.

Obv option 1. Freezing time little and often would rock

An entire day, 3 times a year. It's going to take a lot of time for me to enact my elaborate schemes that mess with people's heads. Gotta figure at least 3 hours just to get the furniture nailed to the ceiling.

All those options are good, damnit.

NO AINEC, if it would be something like "button kills all of asia's habitants and no one you know" then sure, not to be racist, but that way you won't make the rest of the survivors miserable.
Seriously, no, NeverBorn>BornButMiserable>BornAndDead


All of these mean infinite money, what else would you need?

Oh SNAP!

5 mins at a time would be the most useful I reckon

Excellent!

Imagine all of the semen demons that you could leave with this! Omg omg wat?

You are NOT the father!

Best place to hide a body?

ok, now that you and Jesus are best of buddies, he's changed his idea about giving you time travel (too many woman getting pregnant, surprisingly from the guys who only wanted to freeze time for 5 seconds).

Now he says I'll give you a choice of one of the following:

1) Morph into any animal in the world. Once you change to something you need to remain as that animal for a minimum of 6 hours
2) The ability to fly. But it takes a lot of energy and you will get fatigued and tired. For every 1 second flying is the equivalent to staying awake for 1 hour. e.g. at the start of the day you might be able to fly for 20 second, but would then need to sleep for 8 hours.
3) The ability to climb walls Spiderman style

Stop flying and wake up sooner if you want to ask questions idiot. I wanna know where i'm gonna hide your body?