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Old 03-01-2008, 10:19 PM   #8751
lennie257
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

Maybe Obama is that guy who keeps playing Ivey that NVG was creaming itself over.
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:15 PM   #8752
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

i'm really tired and i think i have to go drink :-/
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:20 PM   #8753
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

omg omg omg two hawt wimmin invited me to their house tonite, but no secksytime so i'm not gonna bother witch pics cause it just reminds me of my epci failure =/
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:21 PM   #8754
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

Quote:
Originally Posted by sootedgapper View Post
omg omg omg two hawt wimmin invited me to their house tonite, but no secksytime so i'm not gonna bother witch pics cause it just reminds me of my epci failure =/
You gotta lay the groundwork, man!
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:22 PM   #8755
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

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i'm really tired and i think i have to go drink :-/
You sound like Ben at work.
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:34 PM   #8756
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

Anybody else watching DBZ?
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:36 PM   #8757
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

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Anybody else watching DBZ?
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:38 PM   #8758
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

RickRoll
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:41 PM   #8759
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

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Originally Posted by The Mayo View Post
You gotta lay the groundwork, man!
Suggestions iyo?
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:44 PM   #8760
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

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Originally Posted by The Mayo View Post
with a twist
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:47 PM   #8761
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

yeah im not opening that imo
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:54 PM   #8762
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

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It's just the opening few bars of Never Gonna Give You Up on piano.
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:55 PM   #8763
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

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Suggestions iyo?
How the hell should I know? I've only had sex once, and that was because the girl thought it'd be funny.
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:57 PM   #8764
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

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How the hell should I know? I've only had sex once, and that was because the girl thought it'd be funny.
There's a great story there, I'm sure of it.
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Old 03-01-2008, 11:59 PM   #8765
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

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Originally Posted by The Mayo View Post
How the hell should I know? I've only had sex once, and that was because the girl thought it'd be funny.
TR please?
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Old 03-02-2008, 12:00 AM   #8766
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mayo View Post
How the hell should I know? I've only had sex once, and that was because the girl thought it'd be funny.


sounds like we have a similar experience with wimmin imo!

Last edited by sootedgapper; 03-02-2008 at 12:00 AM. Reason: Edit for TWICE IMO....lol pwned mayo
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Old 03-02-2008, 12:05 AM   #8767
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

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TR please?
https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/sh...Mayo+virginity
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Old 03-02-2008, 12:05 AM   #8768
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

I have had sex 2 times...




































































































































































...Today

Last edited by StepBangin; 03-02-2008 at 12:06 AM. Reason: Actually thats a lie, I only got it once today so far, but prob will end up just being once
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Old 03-02-2008, 12:09 AM   #8769
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

TRIP REPORT PLEASE!!
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Old 03-02-2008, 12:12 AM   #8770
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

TR's are no goot without pics imo.../iyam
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Old 03-02-2008, 12:17 AM   #8771
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

Here's Mayo's TR

It sounds so fake and out of a movie, I came 3 times while reading it. Please to be cashing in your rain check soon.

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mayo View Post
Here's the TR. Sorry for taking so long, I'm at my Mom's (6/10 imo; sorry but no pics) for Christmas and she doesn't have internet access. But here it is:



Sometime in late November/early December, I was talking to this girl that I went to high school with. I don't want to post her name, so I'll call her Erica, after the BustedTees redhead, ldo. I've known Erica since we were in the sixth grade, and I've always kind of had a crush on her. You know how in middle school you walk around with a boner 24/7? Well, Erica is the kind of girl who thought that was extremely funny at the time. Any girl who can laugh at a sea of 13yo boys' poorly concealed erections is someone who can cause same in me.

I think she's insanely hot, but others may disagree. I'm not going to post any pics. But I've never known anyone who didn't think she was at least mildly hot. She's about 5'5", half Philipino/half white Redneck, has really nice skin, black hair, and a beautiful face. She also has two small to average size boobs, of which I am a fan. She's pretty thin, but not unhealthily so or anything.

Anyway, I was talking to Erica on Facebook around the end of November, and the fact that I was a virgin came up. I thought she already knew that, but she seemed surprised. I've never hidden or been embarrased about my virginity, but I didn't proclaim it to the heavens, either. Anyway, here's a paraphrase of the conversation:

Her: Wait, really?
Me: Yep.
Her: Why?
Me: It just hasn't happened yet. I dunno. I've been thinking about getting a hooker just to get it out of the way.
Her: No, don't do that.
Me: Why not?
Her: No one should have their first time with a hooker.
Me: But I want a practice run before I screw up with someone I actually care about.
Her: That makes sense, I guess. And it's actually kind of sweet. But don't get a hooker.
Me: What do you suggest, then?
Her: Well, I could do it if you wanted.

I thought she was joking, obviously. But she was serious. She really didn't like the idea of me losing my virginity to a hooker I found on the internet, and seemed to think it was cute that I was nervous. And she confided that she had lost her virginity at 16 as a high school sophpmore amd had had sex with about 10-12 guys since. Standard? I don't actually know. But we agreed to meet over Christmas break when we're both in town, since she goes to a different college in a different town. So Saturday, December 22nd was set as the date, and her house was set as the place.

Forward to last Saturday, the big day. I was closing the UPS Store where I work at four and going to Erica's to do the deed. A pickup pulled up about 3:55 with a bedfull of crap that I knew he'd want to ship, and I decided that I could close a few minutes early. He came in and said "Are you still open?" I said "No." He said "But it's not 4pm yet? You got a hot date or something?" And I didnt' say anything, but apparently something in my face betrayed that he had hit the nail on the head. And then he looked at me and said "Oh I see. I'll go to the Richmond Road store and get out of your way. Have fun." Next time that guy comes in, he's getting a free shipment. Bless him

So I closed up shop in record time and headed for Erica's house. I pulled up about 4:40 (we had agreed on 5:00) and knocked on the door. And then, to my horror, her Redneck father opened the door. While I was standing there slackjawed, he said "Oh Mayo, Erica said you'd be coming" and welcomed me in. It turned out that he was supposed to be out hunting, but had to cancel for some reason and so was still at home. I thought that was the end of that, but then Erica said "Dad, could we have some privacy?" Then Her dad gave me an angry are-you-gonna-have-sex-with-my-little-girl? look. I studied the laces on my shoe, and then something amazing happened. He said "OK. I think I'll go to a movie" and he left. I have no idea what happened there. He just. ****ing. Left. I don't know if he decided that he didn't mind me having sex with his daughter (!), or if he decided that she'd never screw anything with as much hair as I have (more likely), or if he was thrown by the audacity of the question, or what. But he left, and I didn't ask any questions.

So her dad left, and it was time for a survey. She'd ask about my sexual experiences, and I'd reveal that I hadn't had any. She seemed shocked that I'd never kissed a girl, felt a girl up, or even seen a woman naked in real life. (Beats, obv). So she decided that that's where we'd start. She kissed me, and I just kind of sat there and absorbed it, and she didn't let go. She just kept kissing me until I kissed back. That was pretty cool. Then we did it again, "to improve your form" as she put it. I liked that.

So after a few minutes of kissing, she told me it was time to feel her up. We were sitting on her couch, and she turned toward me and stuck her chest out right in front of her and said "Go ahead." I was pretty much stupefied, and so I kind of reached out with one hand and tapped the palm of my right hand onto the top of her right boob and pulled it straight back as soon as I made contact. If you've ever had to check the power of an electric fence on a farm, you know the motion I'm talking about. But Erica thought that was hilarious. She said "What, are my boobs on fire?" and started guffawing. She made me do the electric-fence-boob-test a few more times, just because she thought ut was funny. Then she said something that no woman had ever said to me: "That's enough. I'm going to take my shirt off and I want you to really grab my boobs."

So she sat back and took off her TShirt. And bra. And then, naturally, I saw her boobs. And I liked them. She let me go to town on them for a minute or two, and then she decided that it was time for the main event. She stood up, grabbed her shirt and bra and went into her bedroom. I had never been as excited as I was at that moment. I followed her to her room, and made it into the room just in time to see her taking her panties off. And I thought to myself "There's a naked woman over there. Go take care of business, tiger!" Then I almost came in my pants. I took my clothes off, and she laughed at me as I had trouble getting the condom on. (I guess my penis is just too big or something.) And then it was time.

She insisted that she should be on top. She told me to lay on the bed and let her do the work, so I did. The sensation was pretty weird. The thing that struck me the most was taht it was a lot warmer than I had expected. It was nice. I was a little too nervous to really enjoy it, not that there was much to enjoy. I lasted maybe 90 seconds. Oh well. It was a good 90 seconds. When I had finished, she laid down next to me and we chatted for a minute. That's a weird feeling: talking to a girl, while you're both lying there naked. Does that ever get any less awkward? In the course of the conversation, she asked if I had another run in me (her phrase). I said that I would after a little recharge time. So I put my clothes back on, she put on sweatpants and a sweatshirt, and we went out and sat back on the couch. After a few awkward seconds, she asked "You like Scrubs, don't you?" Now I don't like Scrubs at all, but figured it would be impolite to say so. And then she said the words that every man wants to hear: "We'll watch an episode, then see how you're doing, and then I'll give you a blowjob."

Well that got my attention. Surprisingly, I found it hard to focus on the TV show. I was just counting down the minutes. About halfway into the show, I felt like I was ready to go again. But I couldn't think of a tactful way of saying "Turn off the TV and come suck my dick" so I kept my mouth shut. And then, disaster.

Her dad was back. He came in, and I think he pretty much figured out what had happened, since Erica was wearing different clothes and her hair was all messed up. He didn't seem pleased. So I hightailed it out of there, and as I was leaving, Erica said "I guess you'll have to take a raincheck." And as I was closing the door, I heard her dad say "A raincheck on what?" And I got in my car, thinking "I've got a blowjob raincheck. Life is good."

I haven't cashed the raincheck yet, but I will soon. TR to follow.



Cliff's Notes: I'm 21, and was a virgin until Saturday. That's when a hot (imo) girl I went to high school with took pity on me and let me have sex with her. I didn't embarrass myself, miraculously. And I got a blowjob raincheck.
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Old 03-02-2008, 12:18 AM   #8772
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

Quote:
Originally Posted by sootedgapper View Post
TR's are no goot without pics imo.../iyam
OK



That's the best you're gonna get out of me.

BRAG: She's wearing a Firefox shirt.
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Old 03-02-2008, 12:18 AM   #8773
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

Quote:
Originally Posted by StepBangin View Post
Here's Mayo's TR

It sounds so fake and out of a movie, I came 3 times while reading it. Please to be cashing in your rain check soon.
That's how it happened. And Rain check has been cashed in.

Last edited by Mayo; 03-02-2008 at 12:19 AM. Reason: If they made a movie about my life, even I wouldn't watch it.
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Old 03-02-2008, 12:19 AM   #8774
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Mayo View Post
TRIP REPORT PLEASE!!
She got home from work and took a nap on the couch
I woke her up because she had to get dressed because we are in a bowling league and had to leave
She went in the room and laid on the bed because her feet hurt
I sexed her
We got dressed
I took the dog out and started the car
We went to bowling
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Old 03-02-2008, 12:20 AM   #8775
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house

TBH that TR was pretty goot, even without pics
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