its awful- avoid rhyme structures like AAAA, its like the omaha hand, might look good to an amateur, but anyone not considering suicide should muck it.

that was truly suck a doodle.

Try this:

And my jammy runs deep, so deep,
it put the bitch's mother ****ing ass to sleep.

Woke the bitch up around one
She didn't hesitate, to call Ice Cube the Top Gun.

Drunk as hell but no throwin' up
3 in the mornin and my beeper's cold blowin up.

I do some sci fi writing and some poetry, I'll lend you something half way decent for class, just don't try and submit it to a magazine, they'll figure out it's mine:

If there's something strange in your neighborhood
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
If there's something weird and it don't look good
Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost

If you're seeing things running through your head
Who can you call?
Ghostbusters!
An invisible man sleeping in your bed
Oh, who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!

I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost

Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
If you're all alone, pick up the phone
And call
Ghostbusters!

I ain't afraid of no ghost
I hear it likes the girls
I ain't afraid of no ghost
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Who you gonna call?
Ghostbusters!
If you've had a dose of a freaky ghost
You'd better call
Ghostbusters!

Let me tell you something
Bustin' makes me feel good

I ain't afraid of no ghost
I ain't afraid of no ghost

Don't get caught alone, oh no
Ghostbusters!
When it comes through your door
Unless you just want some more
I think you better call
Ghostbusters!
Ow!

Who you gonna call
Ghostbusters!

hate ur first line but ill use it anyway.
Just brought a new black Jeep
And came into a dilemma
Why must I waste my inheritance
On things to impress and attract

But how easily we are fooled
In a world of deception
Purchasing a concession
It depreciates after an hour or two


this is how I'm feeling after purchasing an sti 18 months ago. 42k miles later my initial 35k has dwindled to about 20 maybe less. I sincerely wish i had leased, or bought used. its like sitting in a game where u just fold every hand. im blinding it to death, but god damn do i enjoy owning peoples souls in mustangs and whatever else the generic american buys. (last car was a jeep- no complaints there)

hahahahaha

This kinda falls under the category of, "Alota people don't like it...but.....I LIKE IT!!!"

i think you should stick to being a science guy mr bill nye

If I had a Green Automobile
I'd go find my old companion
in his house on the Western ocean.

Agreed.

I made another poem. Let me know.

Two Broads
Two broads diverged gave me a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was not grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a big pie
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two broads gave me wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Comments? I still really like Jeep but I have taken some of the criticism and am trying to improve like any inspiring poet.

Two broads diverged in a club
And i took the broad less traveled in,
And it was a lot tighter.

imo

Is my deeper meaning really that transparent? Or maybe your just damn good at poem analysis, kudos!

Down the street I creep,
Rollin real quiet in mah Jeep,
Gots to be silent,
Or the cops'll get violent,
And I'll be in trouble deep.

OP

You're a bit of a peot

screw poetry

I'm into visual art.

8=================)

This is a story about a bee,
That stung me you see
I got mad, and when I'm mad, I get pretty bad
So I took a guitar,and became quite bizare
I smashed the little bee, and I regret it, but now I need to go pee.

The end.

to describe a jeep
and properly analyze
one must use haiku

Wow this is so fun
MOTHER****ING **********
What is that bull****

I like to play cards
Flopping the nuts is the best
Please don't pair the board

stop doing this crap
there is already two threads
about the same thing

I hate to tell you
But this is not describing
Your poker career

I don't play poker
as often as I used to
instead, I jerk off

Full tilt is the beat,
Aces all in is the brag,
**** you variance