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Old 09-06-2010, 03:32 PM   #1
ncboiler
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NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

I was mowing the yard today and I ran over a bees nest. Of course I ran like a school girl swatting the air the entire time I was running. I ended up getting stung only one time which was just behind my left ear. It hurts like a mother ****er right now. I left the lawnmower where it stopped and I figured I would finish mowing later in the afternoon when bees become more dormant.

Unfortunately I had to walk by the lawnmower/nest to get back into my house. They went after me again, unsuccessfully I might add as more running, dodging, swatting seems to do the trick. After I got back into my house I went to the back deck to see where the nest was (I may pour gas down the hole tonight). My deck is 15 feet off the ground and about 10feet away from the nest (do some simple trig that's about 18 linear feet away from the ****ers). They still tried to attack me!!! I quickly shut the door and the bastards were kamikazing their little bodies into the window of the door like Satan on Red Bull.

As I was getting ready to get into the shower I hear a buzzing and thumping against one of the windows of my house. One of the ****ers had gotten in. I smushed it with a towel. I get in the shower, relaxing (not rubbing one out imo) when I see another one fly into the bathroom. I quickly kill it. I get back in and see another one and then another. This time I say **** it and run, again like a school girl, out of the bathroom leaving the water running. Now I have to figure out how to surreptitiously get back into the bathroom to turn off the water.

I see one of the bees fly into some coats I have hanging in the corner. I swat it with a towel but miss. This bee must be slow as I got another shot and killed it....I think. It is at this time that I figure the second bee which had flown into the bathroom may have witnessed his colleagues demise and was now in hiding. I took this opportunity to run into the bathroom, turn off the shower, and hightail it back out.

As I was typing this another one (hopefully the one mentioned above) decides to land on the window curtain right next to my computer. I swiftly jump up, grab a pillow, and smash the pillow onto the unsuspecting pest all the while making some sort of karate YAAAAA sound.

I decided the only logical thing to do is to up the ante by going to K-Mart to buy some super powerful all purpose bee killer ****. It's a kind of mutual assured destruction type policy. As I leave I crack the front door with the hope that the attackers will leave satisfied thinking that the shear terror they have caused will keep me away from there dwelling. I am comfortable leaving the door open when I'm not here as we have only one black guy in the neighborhood and he is cool. It is to be noted that the guy that rang me up at K-Mart has one flat foot and one high arc. I'm thinking that may be the least of his problems. I just noted two problems worse than that in the seconds that I had to interact with him. 1) the bad mowhawk haircut. 2) He works at K-Mart.

I am good with both sides just going their own way forgetting that this terrible encounter ever happened. Some lives were lost, some pain was inflicted. There really is no winner in an event like this

Some pics of the carnage:



Although I killed this one an hour before I took the pic, it was still kicking when I took it. I let him to continue to kick/suffer. That way if any more cohorts are watching they may learn and second guess any more counter attacks.

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Old 09-06-2010, 03:36 PM   #2
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

frist?
cliffs?

Last edited by M.C.Escher; 09-06-2010 at 03:37 PM. Reason: confirmed
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Old 09-06-2010, 03:37 PM   #3
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

wasps
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Old 09-06-2010, 03:44 PM   #4
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

*their dwelling
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Old 09-06-2010, 03:52 PM   #5
ncboiler
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

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Originally Posted by jmitchell42 View Post
wasps
They are wasps? I didn't know wasps lived in the ground and I thought they were fairly solitary. There were hundreds of these things flying around after I stirred them up.
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Old 09-06-2010, 03:56 PM   #6
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

holy **** it's a thread with some mother****ing pics in it


so you were running around your house naked, eh?
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Old 09-06-2010, 03:57 PM   #7
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

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Originally Posted by ncboiler View Post
They are wasps? I didn't know wasps lived in the ground and I thought they were fairly solitary. There were hundreds of these things flying around after I stirred them up.
that is what they look like to me and my experiences with wasps is that they tend to be pretty aggressive. could be wrong though. they could be hornets. not sure of the difference really.
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:00 PM   #8
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

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A. We get a lot of calls this time of year from anxious homeowners about “ground nesting bees”. There are two insects with stingers you might notice emerging from holes in your lawn or flowerbed right now, but neither are bees. (The only bees that nest in the ground are gentle pollinators that are only active in the Spring.)

If, like Cindy, the black and yellow insects you see are around two inches long, relax; those are the famous cicada-killing wasps and they have no interest in stinging you. The males don’t have stingers, and the rarely-seen females often won’t even sting when provoked! And besides, their season of dragging giant cicadas into those holes for their young to feed upon is almost done. To prevent their harmless presence NEXT year, keep your ground covered with plants or mulch; they only make their solitary nests in bare soil.

If those insects are under an inch long, however, do NOT relax. Those are yellowjackets, a type of highly aggressive wasp, not a bee. Although technically beneficial because they eat pest insects, yellowjackets are responsible for almost all of the so-called ‘bee sting deaths’ in the United States. They like to sting people, each insect can sting repeatedly, they generally attack in large numbers, and they can bite ya too. They are especially dangerous this time of year. Their nests have gotten HUGE, and the workers are on a constant prowl for food.

To keep individual wasps out of your outdoor areas, don’t leave pet food or human food outside, and keep trash sealed tight. Oh and take it from me—always give opened cans of soda a little shake before drinking. Talk about ouch! And if you’ve got a nest in a frequently-used area, it must be destroyed. Insecticides—natural or organic—aren’t recommended this late in the season; the nests are so big and intricate that the sprays can’t reach the inner layers.

The best way I’ve found to destroy a nest is to smother it. Fill a wheelbarrow with a big load of ice (like from a motel ice machine—its just the right size) and quickly dump it over the hole on a cool evening after the scouts have gone inside for the night. The cold will prevent their attacking you. Then cover the hole and the area around it with a heavy tarp weighted down with bricks, a piece of sheet metal, a big wooden board or other heavy object. Then cover that with soil or wood chips. Or cover the hole with a thick piece of clear plastic, seal the edges tight to the ground, and the nest will cook in the sun once the ice melts. Be sure and pick a cool night when these dangerous wasps will be unable to respond quickly—and ‘bee careful’!
.
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:02 PM   #9
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

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Originally Posted by jmitchell42 View Post
that is what they look like to me and my experiences with wasps is that they tend to be pretty aggressive. could be wrong though. they could be hornets. not sure of the difference really.
lol you made me curious and I found this.
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:04 PM   #10
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

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lol you made me curious and I found this.
was looking that up myself.
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:07 PM   #11
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

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If those insects are under an inch long, however, do NOT relax. Those are yellowjackets, a type of highly aggressive wasp, not a bee. Although technically beneficial because they eat pest insects, yellowjackets are responsible for almost all of the so-called ‘bee sting deaths’ in the United States. They like to sting people, each insect can sting repeatedly, they generally attack in large numbers, and they can bite ya too. They are especially dangerous this time of year. Their nests have gotten HUGE, and the workers are on a constant prowl for food.
Holy ****!

I'm pretty sure they are yellow jackets but I thought that was a type of bee. Not a wasp. Interesting.
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:09 PM   #12
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

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Originally Posted by ncboiler View Post
Holy ****!

I'm pretty sure they are yellow jackets but I thought that was a type of bee. Not a wasp. Interesting.
i got stung by a yellowjacket when i was a kid. they chased me all across my yard.
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:09 PM   #13
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

This is why you hire mexicans to cut your yard.
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:09 PM   #14
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

get strung...be swoll
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:10 PM   #15
ncboiler
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

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so you were running around your house naked, eh?
Affirmative
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:11 PM   #16
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

OP, you're alright in my book, but there's just no way I'm reading all that.
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:13 PM   #17
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

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OP, you're alright in my book, but there's just no way I'm reading all that.
It's ok. The story kind of sucks anyway. I just got stung by a bee and now the entire colony has vowed revenge for the disturbance.
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Old 09-06-2010, 04:55 PM   #18
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

I pretty sure it works like this: the first one stings you and it leaves some kind of FFFFFUUU scent that the others are attracted to. When the others smell that scent on someone, they think you're a piece of **** who ****ed with the hive and they swarm you. Assuming you showered long enough to wash off the FFFFFFUUU scent, you should be fine now.

Also, cool story bro.
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Old 09-06-2010, 06:42 PM   #19
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

They have you outnumbered and surrounded, just give them the house before you get hurt.
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Old 09-06-2010, 06:57 PM   #20
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

i always thought bees and ants stung or bite you all at the same time
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Old 09-06-2010, 07:48 PM   #21
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

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Old 09-06-2010, 09:07 PM   #22
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

I think it's wasps too. I was always told to be careful walking through tall grass at the lake. It sucks because I don't think wasps make honey. If it were bees you could take their honey.
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Old 09-06-2010, 10:30 PM   #23
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

You can piss on their ground hive though so there's that.
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Old 09-06-2010, 10:32 PM   #24
ncboiler
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

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You can piss on their ground hive though so there's that.
But they will sting me in the penis
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Old 09-06-2010, 10:37 PM   #25
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Re: NCBOILER Gets Be Strung TR

you gots to run faster son
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