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My soulmate came in the mail today My soulmate came in the mail today

07-04-2009 , 10:40 AM
A+ thread imo

Will read again
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 10:55 AM
>Dearest Support,
>
>As you can imagine, being a poker player can be quite a solitary and lonely
>experience. With that in mind, I was excited to see that for the bargain
>price of only 1000 fpps I could have my very own primate companion shipped
>to my door. After a few hours of pure bliss, things took a turn for the
>worse. Please see this for details:
>http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/62...-today-525029/
>
>I know that Stars has a reputation for their outstanding customer service
>and stand behind its product, so could you please explain to me why I
>happened to receive an apparently defective companion monkey? Are these
>unfaithful and violent behavioral issues common?
>
>As noted in the post, I have a Stars donkey on the way and hopefully it will
>live up to expectation. What is your advice in regards to ensuring I have
>the best experience possible?
>
>All the best,
>Eric


Hello Eric,

Thank you for your email.

OH MY GOD, we are shocked! All the monkeys go to the BEST schools and get
very good education, such behavior is unprecedented and entirely
unacceptable. Perhaps it was caused by the long transportation process, it
sometimes make people.. and monkeys to ...am, drink.. and rape Cartmans. Maybe?

We sincerely hope and believe that this money was an exception and the rest
of the PokerStars monkeys will show excellence in their behavior! We do
recommend you to love your money no matter how he behaves, because love does
wonders... and, am, try not to give the little guy any alcohol...

If you will face any problems, please let us know, we have a team of
'super-nannies', who will then advise you further. Good luck!


Best Regards,

Tarvi R
PokerStars Support Team
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 12:09 PM
i think they mean um not am
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 01:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by reefdawg
Confirmed, I looked closer and the monkey isn't even real

edit: beginning to have my suspicions about the T-rex too
Why would Thomas Jefferson want to pose with a fake monkey?
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 01:30 PM
I thoroughly enjoyed this thread.

Mail the monkey to Canada and I'll get a wedding shot with it and send it back

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/62...g-shot-525280/
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 01:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by emmemere
I thoroughly enjoyed this thread.

Mail the monkey to Canada and I'll get a wedding shot with it and send it back

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/62...g-shot-525280/
PM an address to ship it to and I def will

Last edited by ericishungry; 07-04-2009 at 01:45 PM. Reason: though monkey has a stab wound in chest and is soaked/slightly decomposing...
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 01:55 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericishungry
PM an address to ship it to and I def will
pm sent. Please don't hunt me down and kill me like you did the monkey.
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 02:00 PM
lollllll good thread

how many fpps do i need, you just really made me wanna buy a stars monkey
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 02:30 PM
http://www.pokerstars.com/vip/store/...onkey/gallery/

http://www.pokerstars.com/vip/store/promotions/monkey//

Monkey is 1k FPPs

EDIT: They have a donkey too
http://www.pokerstars.com/vip/store/...ies&prod=pa-19

Last edited by Mischman; 07-04-2009 at 02:32 PM. Reason: 1017
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 04:04 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kentucky Buddha
Last edited by Kentucky Buddha; Today at 07:46 AM. Reason: It is the Crown Royal that is not fit to drink in my view.
qft!
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 04:08 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericishungry
>Dearest Support,
>
>As you can imagine, being a poker player can be quite a solitary and lonely
>experience. With that in mind, I was excited to see that for the bargain
>price of only 1000 fpps I could have my very own primate companion shipped
>to my door. After a few hours of pure bliss, things took a turn for the
>worse. Please see this for details:
>http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/62...-today-525029/
>
>I know that Stars has a reputation for their outstanding customer service
>and stand behind its product, so could you please explain to me why I
>happened to receive an apparently defective companion monkey? Are these
>unfaithful and violent behavioral issues common?
>
>As noted in the post, I have a Stars donkey on the way and hopefully it will
>live up to expectation. What is your advice in regards to ensuring I have
>the best experience possible?
>
>All the best,
>Eric


Hello Eric,

Thank you for your email.

OH MY GOD, we are shocked! All the monkeys go to the BEST schools and get
very good education, such behavior is unprecedented and entirely
unacceptable. Perhaps it was caused by the long transportation process, it
sometimes make people.. and monkeys to ...am, drink.. and rape Cartmans. Maybe?

We sincerely hope and believe that this money was an exception and the rest
of the PokerStars monkeys will show excellence in their behavior! We do
recommend you to love your money no matter how he behaves, because love does
wonders... and, am, try not to give the little guy any alcohol...

If you will face any problems, please let us know, we have a team of
'super-nannies', who will then advise you further. Good luck!


Best Regards,

Tarvi R
PokerStars Support Team
he said money instead of monkey alot.
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 04:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by leprous_hand
qft!
Funny story, I actually paid good yankee dollars for some of that crap only yesterday though!! A couple of months ago a guy that works for my neighbor gave me a ride to pick up my car from the shop, so I asked in conversation what he drank so I could repay the favor. I tried to nudge him toward all kinds of options as secondary favorites that I might not wince when I took it to the counter....but he was all about "Noooo, I don't like anything else, I am a 100% Crown Royal man!". Whatever. It didn't hurt me long, I hope HE enjoys it...I know I never would.

Last edited by Kentucky Buddha; 07-04-2009 at 04:17 PM. Reason: The monkey was probably only angry because of inferior whiskey. I would likely behave the same way. imo
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 04:12 PM
a lot
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 04:45 PM
<3 stars support
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 05:09 PM
Omg I want that donkey.....
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 05:11 PM
Part 2 please; Monkey Returns
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 05:18 PM
LOL. Nice one OP.
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 05:30 PM
Pics of donkey?
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 05:38 PM
all hail ericishungry
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 05:48 PM
SWEAR TO ****ING GOD PEOPLE NEED TO QUIT MURDERING THEIR MONKEYS
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 06:07 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tapow Dayok
Why would Thomas Jefferson want to pose with a fake monkey?



Racist ban trap!
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 06:09 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LirvA
SWEAR TO ****ING GOD PEOPLE NEED TO QUIT MURDERING THEIR MONKEYS
QFMFT
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 07:02 PM
in b4 sex with stuffed donkey
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 07:13 PM
Monkey ordered.
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote
07-04-2009 , 07:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by GiantWalleye
Pics of donkey?
he hasn't arrived yet

Quote:
Originally Posted by skillgambler
all hail ericishungry
no u
My soulmate came in the mail today Quote

      
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