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My soulmate came in the mail today

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07-04-2009 , 03:17 AM

ericishungry

adept

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,191

we celebrated her arrival with some drinks

hung out with Thomas Jefferson

rode a t-rex

did some pushups

played some hoops

i left for a bit so run some errands and when i get back find the bitch cheating on me with cartman

so i tried

and got bitch-slapped in return

which left me no choice...

but to send her to sleep with the fishes

seeing as how pokerstars ships monkeys that are cheating whores, i've placed an order for a donkey instead. hopefully it will be a match made in heaven.

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07-04-2009 , 03:17 AM

Velutha

adept

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,044

frist?

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07-04-2009 , 03:19 AM

Velutha

adept

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,044

you weave a tragic tale btw....

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07-04-2009 , 03:20 AM

Sh!p!tOn3T!m3

banned

Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,562

u r funny

Last edited by Sh!p!tOn3T!m3; 07-04-2009 at 03:20 AM. Reason: 3st

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07-04-2009 , 03:21 AM

dangeraw

bad beat soundboard

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 20,852

u bastard killing monkeys is wrong. u should just killed Cartman.

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07-04-2009 , 03:25 AM

k0derkid

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 4,001

my monkey is pretty faithful afaik. i also have the same nerf hoop.

brother?

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07-04-2009 , 03:29 AM

Velutha

adept

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,044

Quote:

Originally Posted by dangeraw

u bastard killing monkeys is wrong. u should just killed Cartman.

this...op clearly planned on secksin the monkey and cartman couldn't keep his d*** in his pants for 5 minutes. bros before hoes

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07-04-2009 , 03:33 AM

RockstarPoker

veteran

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 3,491

i thought this was going to be about mail order brides

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07-04-2009 , 03:42 AM

OlderBaby

banned

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 6,866

I approve of this thread.

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07-04-2009 , 03:46 AM

#10

Sh!p!tOn3T!m3

banned

Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 2,562

Quote:

Originally Posted by OlderBaby

I approve of this thread.

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07-04-2009 , 04:05 AM

#11

Ephialtes

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 20,366

i lold, 5stars

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07-04-2009 , 04:19 AM

#12

BubbaSlick

adept

Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 965

Beat: Black Label

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07-04-2009 , 04:21 AM

#13

chh

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 4,059

did you SIIHP?

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07-04-2009 , 04:39 AM

#14

krishneelz

centurion

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 147

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07-04-2009 , 04:45 AM

#15

leprous_hand

unclean

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 16,249

i am disappointed ... and i know i speak for tart as well when i say

i expected this to be about a fleshlight

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07-04-2009 , 04:46 AM

#16

leprous_hand

unclean

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 16,249

Quote:

Originally Posted by BubbaSlick

Beat: Black Label

not a beat when you consume it in the quantity that i do

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07-04-2009 , 04:51 AM

#17

k0derkid

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 4,001

came

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07-04-2009 , 07:34 AM

#18

reefdawg

dogvomt

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 5,679

I WANNA PARTY WITH LEP

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07-04-2009 , 07:49 AM

#19

ursine cotcher

BBV mspaint champion 2007 / untrustworthy

Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 5,892

Quote:

Originally Posted by leprous_hand

i am disappointed ... and i know i speak for tart as well when i say

i expected this to be about a fleshlight

ffs i was just about to say this

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07-04-2009 , 08:19 AM

#20

HeroInBlack

veteran

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 3,200

THIS STORY IS FAKE!!! THAT IS A STUFFED MONKEY!!!

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07-04-2009 , 08:42 AM

#21

ambulance chaser

centurion

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 174

clearly should have spanked your monkey

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07-04-2009 , 08:45 AM

#22

Kentucky Buddha

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 4,298

I too expected it to be a fleshlight. LOL

Last edited by Kentucky Buddha; 07-04-2009 at 08:46 AM. Reason: It is the Crown Royal that is not fit to drink in my view.

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07-04-2009 , 09:04 AM

#23

OMGBennyLava

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 3,520

cool thread!

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07-04-2009 , 09:05 AM

#24

eric_cartmanez

grinder

Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 467

this makes me want to get my own monkey

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07-04-2009 , 10:09 AM

#25

reefdawg

dogvomt

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 5,679

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeroInBlack

THIS STORY IS FAKE!!! THAT IS A STUFFED MONKEY!!!

Confirmed, I looked closer and the monkey isn't even real

edit: beginning to have my suspicions about the T-rex too

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