ITT AlwaysFolding has a colonoscopy - BBV4Life -- Two Plus Two Poker Forums

Hay guys.

So I'm a strapping young lad, running through the daily rigmarole. You know, playing PLO8 on ACR as a form of self-punishment, eating all the bread in this bread, having the girlfriend (sorry LB not bragging, she's the "beat" in "BBV").

But then the doctor tells me one day, "AlwaysFolding, I'm recommending you to the specialists for probing."

****

tl;dr this bread is about how crappy colonoscopy prep is

Quote

12-12-2016 , 05:51 PM

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Hour 8: The laxatives taken at hour five have not kicked in yet. I fear the worse is yet to come.

Quote

12-12-2016 , 06:24 PM

ScreaminAsian

For President

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 33,333

my dad had a colonoscopy recently because he's an old man like you. he said they knocked him out into a dreamless sleep with that michael jackson drug and he woke up feeling great

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12-12-2016 , 06:30 PM

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Fentanyl and versed! The perfect combination.

Update: I have mixed the death-concotion polyethylene glycol (miralax). The stimulant laxatives of hour five have no effect. I suspect the rice from last night as the culprit for delay.

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12-12-2016 , 06:35 PM

Morphismus

BBV Poker Player of 2022

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 24,277

in b4 enema

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12-12-2016 , 06:38 PM

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morphismus

in b4 enema

This is an incredible double entendre.

LOLphismus strikes again

Update: Hour 9.75 and glass #2 has been chugged. I feel as though I am being trolled by my digestive system.

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12-12-2016 , 06:49 PM

Schlitz mmmm

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 27,862

Some say rear end is near

in after Aenema

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12-12-2016 , 07:02 PM

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

icwydt.

Update: Glass 3/8 and nothing yet. You've got to be ****ting me.

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12-12-2016 , 07:08 PM

Morphismus

BBV Poker Player of 2022

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 24,277

It will come out all at once.

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12-12-2016 , 07:20 PM

#10

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Update: halfway through the miralax. LOLphismus is right, this drank is going for the long con.

Last edited by AlwaysFolding; 12-12-2016 at 07:20 PM. Reason: im teh dumb

Quote

12-12-2016 , 07:31 PM

#11

Morphismus

BBV Poker Player of 2022

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 24,277

Do you drink enough? This video implicitly suggests that you have to be properly hydrated for this stuff to work:

Quote

12-12-2016 , 07:41 PM

#12

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

I've been on a clear liquid diet all day today and consumed probably 4 liters+ of clear liquids yesterday as well, Miralax ist eine lüge!!

Quote

12-12-2016 , 08:03 PM

#13

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Update: Hour 11, six hours after first stimulant laxative ingestion, the fireworks begin.

HOLY **** KILL ME NOW

Quote

12-12-2016 , 08:29 PM

#14

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Update: Splashguard is best friend.

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12-12-2016 , 09:50 PM

#15

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Update: SPLASHGUARD DOES NOTHING I LIED WTF

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12-12-2016 , 09:51 PM

#16

LonelyBox

You call this a blog?

Join Date: Jan 2016 Posts: 5,263

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12-13-2016 , 05:04 AM

#17

Omaha Boy

adept

Join Date: Dec 2012 Posts: 819

Good luck with the procedure AlwaysFolding. I've had a colonoscopy and a gastrectomy twice yearly since I was 13 or so to monitor my Ulcerative Colitis. Worst part if you ask me is all the gas you have built up post op, it's a very unpleasant sensation to say the least. At least there won't be anything in your digestive system to make your one hour long fart smell.

Quote

12-13-2016 , 08:17 AM

#18

Morphismus

BBV Poker Player of 2022

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 24,277

Hour-long farts? Where do I sign?

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12-13-2016 , 08:32 AM

#19

Mr.mmmKay

Drugs are bad...

Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 20,178

Could be kind of awkward if you're on a date, or at a funeral

Quote

12-13-2016 , 08:53 AM

#20

buddyWEISER

adept

Join Date: Nov 2016 Posts: 814

Meal planned for after colonoscopy?
#****s taken?
How much tp used

Good luck with the camera in your bottom side bread basket.

Quote

12-13-2016 , 10:18 AM

#21

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Quote:

Originally Posted by Omaha Boy

Damn man, I'm sorry to hear that but glad you get some monitoring of the situation.

Worst part is ALL FARTS ARE SUSPECT UNTIL AFTERWARDS

Quote

12-13-2016 , 10:18 AM

#22

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morphismus

Hour-long farts? Where do I sign?

I'll hook you up, slide into my DMs

Quote

12-13-2016 , 10:22 AM

#23

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Quote:

Originally Posted by buddyWEISER

Meal planned for after colonoscopy?
#****s taken?
How much tp used

Good luck with the camera in your bottom side bread basket.

1. Gonna passes the gases, but then

thai
chicken
steak
more thai
maybe korean bbq if it's open
pizza

2. Solid two hours of liquid sadness
3. Surprisingly not much after the two hour round, only baby wipes

I hope I get a copy of the tape.

Quote

12-13-2016 , 10:59 AM

#24

buddyWEISER

adept

Join Date: Nov 2016 Posts: 814

Thai sounds really good now, gonna get some for lunch. lol@ copy of tape

Quote

12-13-2016 , 11:03 AM

#25

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Update: The magnesium citrate has caused a resurgence of violent expulsions from my bottom side bread basket. What a blowout.

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