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Old 10-27-2011, 07:06 PM   #76
Alrighty Roo
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Re: I am mentally ill.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gordy N. Okam View Post
Grunch: that is hilarious, the donut thing. I wish I cared enough about someone to do that.
I wish OP cared enough to actually do it.

What ya gonna do, levelers gonna level.
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Old 10-27-2011, 07:16 PM   #77
Gordy N. Okam
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Re: I am mentally ill.

I dont care if it's a level, it's amusing.
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Old 10-27-2011, 07:18 PM   #78
Gordy N. Okam
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ktcbs21 View Post
lol i refuse to believe this is real. the boomerang thing is hilarious and disturbing at the same time. By the way.. you should poop in the top part of the toilet where the water is (AKA a top shelf) and really piss your dad off. It will smell forever before they discover it.. then you don't have to wake up so early anymore.
I believe that's called an upper decker.

And yes, I laughed when his dad beat him with a boomerang too.
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Old 10-27-2011, 10:32 PM   #79
metsandfinsfan
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HiFi View Post
I had the EXACT same thought up until he mentioned seeing "Inception" since I know he's never seen it.
Um

Yeah I never saw it

Im clear now right?
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Old 10-28-2011, 10:47 AM   #80
Tryst_
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Re: I am mentally ill.

lololololololol these made me lol hard irl


Quote:
Originally Posted by Perma Banned View Post
When I was a little kid I some how thought that people could read my mind if I thought with my mouth open. So obv I started closing my mouth everytime I thought about anything that I didn't want people to hear. I still do this til this day. OCD style. Its gets much weirder though. When my thoughts gets stronger, I get scared that they can escape through my nose or ear holes. When the thoughts are reeeally strong I get scared that they will get out through my eyes / tear ducts.

So when I see a mega hot girl irl and start thinking about the things I want to do to her, I pinch my nose shut, push one ear against my shoulder, put a finger in the other ear & close my eyes. Think about what that looks like. Do you have any idea how hard it is to pick up while looking like that? Sort of explains a bit about why I was so heartbroken when I got dumped. It was a miracle that I had a gf to begin with.

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Originally Posted by Perma Banned View Post
I recently found were she hides her spare house key (behind a pot plant). I took the key and replaced it with a donut. Going to be awesome when she needs the spare key.


I have other stories that dwarf this one. Considering whether & what to share.
MOAR ****ED UP STORIES FFS ALL OF THEM

when did u last doughnut?

also are you Mr. Royal Flush? he disappeared and then you come along with epic stores...

tinyeyed the pic of your ex and no results :O
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Old 10-28-2011, 11:48 AM   #81
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Re: I am mentally ill.

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Old 10-28-2011, 01:59 PM   #82
Jeeraph
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Re: I am mentally ill.

Please give most stories. The donut thing was very creative and funny. The poor sausage thing is ****ed up so only share the weird non disgusting stuff.
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Old 10-28-2011, 02:39 PM   #83
ninersrule
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Re: I am mentally ill.

lol it would be so easy to figure out who it is, thats how I know this is made up.
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Old 10-28-2011, 03:14 PM   #84
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Re: I am mentally ill.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeeraph View Post
Please give most stories. The donut thing was very creative and funny. The poor sausage thing is ****ed up so only share the weird non disgusting stuff.
Okay, prob I good idea that I don’t tell the X rated stuff. I hope this qualifies...

As i’m sure most people guessed from my boomerang comment, I’m Australian. Up until I was about 12 I lived in a very remote bushland area outside of Brisbane. It was boring as hell and I had no friends. My entire school consisted of 19 kids. It wasn’t all bad. I had a pet mouse that was my best friend.

Sometime around 2004 pokemon hit the Australian TV airwaves. I was instantly hooked. I was also ******ed. I changed the name of my pet mouse from fa got (seriously) to Pikachu.

The main pokemon trainer in the show, Ash, started training at age 10. I was already 12, I needed to get started immediately! So... I got a hamster ball for my mouse and started getting him into pokemon fights. I started off by putting him into easy fights, mostly against birds, but as he became a stronger pokemon I put him into tougher fights.

The usual order of events went like this...

I would spot a wild “pokemon.” I would pull out the hamster ball and throw it in front of the other pokemon. I would then throw pokeballs (rocks) at the other animal to try and catch it.

I started off by throwing rocks at birds. That became wombats & koalas. Later it became Kangaroos. I’m not a vet or biologist or anything, but from my experience kangaroos don’t like having mice thrown at their feet and rocks thrown at their heads. I was chased a few times but never hurt.

Eventually I got sick of pokemon... but I never got sick of throwing rocks at animals. After a while though, rocks weren’t enough. I started going deep into the bush with a knife on me and I tried to start fights with kangaroos. Unfortunately they don’t put up much of a fight. Usually they just hop away.

One day however I found a fkn giant emu! These things are quite rare in the area that I was living. They are also ferocious as ****. They can seriously kill a person even if not provoked. Here I was, a 12 year old, trying to start a fight with one of them. I remember making eye contact with it when it was about 20 feet away from me.

From behind me, I heard my mum yell out. She had followed me and she now saw me staring down an emu with a giant knife in my hand. I started to charge at the emu while screaming at full volume “AAAAAHHHH!!” The emu charged straight back at me as soon as I moved towards it. The emu was fearless. I got scared. My mom got scared And said, “You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.” I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, “Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!” I pulled up to the house about seven or eight And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
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Old 10-28-2011, 03:16 PM   #85
Tryst_
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Re: I am mentally ill.


Last edited by Tryst_; 10-28-2011 at 03:16 PM. Reason: which one is op?
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Old 10-28-2011, 05:26 PM   #86
MainEventMike
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Re: I am mentally ill.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Perma Banned View Post
Okay, prob I good idea that I don’t tell the X rated stuff. I hope this qualifies...

As i’m sure most people guessed from my boomerang comment, I’m Australian. Up until I was about 12 I lived in a very remote bushland area outside of Brisbane. It was boring as hell and I had no friends. My entire school consisted of 19 kids. It wasn’t all bad. I had a pet mouse that was my best friend.

Sometime around 2004 pokemon hit the Australian TV airwaves. I was instantly hooked. I was also ******ed. I changed the name of my pet mouse from fa got (seriously) to Pikachu.

The main pokemon trainer in the show, Ash, started training at age 10. I was already 12, I needed to get started immediately! So... I got a hamster ball for my mouse and started getting him into pokemon fights. I started off by putting him into easy fights, mostly against birds, but as he became a stronger pokemon I put him into tougher fights.

The usual order of events went like this...

I would spot a wild “pokemon.” I would pull out the hamster ball and throw it in front of the other pokemon. I would then throw pokeballs (rocks) at the other animal to try and catch it.

I started off by throwing rocks at birds. That became wombats & koalas. Later it became Kangaroos. I’m not a vet or biologist or anything, but from my experience kangaroos don’t like having mice thrown at their feet and rocks thrown at their heads. I was chased a few times but never hurt.

Eventually I got sick of pokemon... but I never got sick of throwing rocks at animals. After a while though, rocks weren’t enough. I started going deep into the bush with a knife on me and I tried to start fights with kangaroos. Unfortunately they don’t put up much of a fight. Usually they just hop away.

One day however I found a fkn giant emu! These things are quite rare in the area that I was living. They are also ferocious as ****. They can seriously kill a person even if not provoked. Here I was, a 12 year old, trying to start a fight with one of them. I remember making eye contact with it when it was about 20 feet away from me.

From behind me, I heard my mum yell out. She had followed me and she now saw me staring down an emu with a giant knife in my hand. I started to charge at the emu while screaming at full volume “AAAAAHHHH!!” The emu charged straight back at me as soon as I moved towards it. The emu was fearless. I got scared. My mom got scared And said, “You’re movin’ with your auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.” I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I could say that this cab was rare But I thought, “Nah, forget it. Yo home to Bel-Air!” I pulled up to the house about seven or eight And I yelled to the cabby yo holmes smell ya later Looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air.
Ok, Fresh Prince of Australia.
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