Today is a very special and important day for me. A very special and important holiday.

People may think I'm crazy ... and I very well may be, but that is irrelevant. That has nothing to do with what I experienced and what I believe and feel.

On this day, I had a life changing experience. Something that's affected every aspect of my life. Something that has truly come to define my life. Something I still think about every single day, even though it's been six years now since it happened.


Back when Avril Lavigne first became popular and well known, I was amazed by here. I thought she was simply amazing. I saw an interview with her and Antonio Reid who "discovered her" on TV once. Avril was saying she didn't really care for the whole pop thing and putting labels on people trying to sell them as a product. Reid said if had his way, he would have made here more bling blind, show more skin, he would have had her doing Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera type ****. **** that I HATE.

I saw one of the awards shows back then ... grammys or something. They had probably 10 performances by various artists, Avril Lavigne being one of them. I watched the whole show, and out of all the acts that performed, you know how many rocked the ****ing place? 1. Avril Lavigne. I grew up during the time of grunge, rock and roll is like my life really, and I watched this horrible god damn award show which featured all the latest and greatest rap and R&B artists and bull**** garbage like that, and the only ****ing act that rocked the place was Avril Lavigne. She became a hero to me. She was playing rock and roll music, and was the only one doing so.

.... needless to say of course, I also though she was incredibly attractive. Like seriously one of the most beautiful girls I'd ever seen IMO. She was exactly the type of girl I wanted to be with.

In August 2003 my x gf and I moved from my fathers house in Oklahoma, to Colorado so I could work for my uncle, who owns a wine distribution company located in Louisville. I was never in love with my x gf, it was more like just a relationship of convenience. She may have been in love with me though. It wasn't a great relationship, we fought a lot and we stayed together far too long. About 4 years.

While living in Colorado, she was usually unemployed, so she'd go with me on my deliveries. I delivered all over the state from Denver to Aspen to Colorado Springs to Fort Collins to Estes Park. It was a pretty good job and I enjoyed it, very frustrating at times though. We'd drive down the highway and smoke fine Colorado kind bud. We had some good times, but still ... definitely never considered getting married or having children or anything like that. In all our time together, I think we both knew it was just a matter of time before we broke up.

On Halloween 31 2003, I had to deliver to Vail, Snowmass, Aspen, Carbondale, all those towns up there. My x gf came with me.

... during this time in my life, I was heavily involved in studying and practicing magic/witchcraft. I loved it, and I believe it made me a better person. Before we moved, I ... I wanted to meet my soul mate. I wanted to meet Avril Lavigne. I wanted to do things with my music. I .. cast a spell I guess you could say, maybe a week before we left Oklahoma. ... When we got there, I played my guitar every night for like a month. I had never been so inspired to jam in my life. It was just an amazing time for me. I was happier than I'd been in a long long time. We moved because I wasn't getting a long with my dad at all.

After finishing all my deliveries for the day, which ended in Aspen, I stopped at my other uncle's house in Carbondale. He told me about how every Halloween tons of people gather on Pearl Street in Boulder to hang out and party. It sounded like hella fun and we both really liked Pearl Street and loved Boulder, so of course we decided to go.

I remember driving on I-70 all those times. All those fun winding curves. All the beautiful mountains. All the cool mountain towns. ... whenever I'm watching TV or reading something and I hear or see "Colorado" I just cry inside. Can't help it. I miss it there so much, and I just can't forget what happened that Halloween night ..

We left Carbondale to take the van back to the wharehouse in Louisville and had to stop in Wheatridge to get some windshield wiper fluid.

We pulled off the highway at that one road there, it's like ... oh, you know that road. Like there's a taco bell on the uh ... south side. If you take that road north you can go up towards uh ... grembling? .. Idk, anyway, there's that Conoco right there .. like, on both sides of I-70 there's Conoco's (unless it's changed IMO). And by the south Conoco there's a liquir store called Applejacks .. I delivered wine there all the time ... so anyway, yeah that location. You know the area.

So that Conoco there by Applejack's, we pulled in there at apx. 10:12 pm. My x gf and I, to get wiper fluid. We parked by the road away from the store in front of the gas pumps. I remember there was some vehicle there getting gas ... like, it was maybe an old white van or something .. and it had a trailer ... like, some sort of tralier or something. I don't know. I remember feeling strange walking up to the door.

I walked through the door, my x gf trailing behind me, and ... I saw here there. There. There. She was there. Right there. Working behind the counter. This ... girl. Just working there on Halloween night. She ... . She looked exactly like Avril Lavigne. Exactly like her ... but I wasn't thinking aobut that or something.

I looked at her and I said how's it going ...

"jellybeans and peaches and cream how about you?"

I said yeah about the same.

... I think she made a joke or something and my x gf and I laughed.

I got some wiper fluid and asked if they had any of those little paper funnels. She said yes and pointed me to them. I asked if they were free and she said "nope, they cost one million dollars". We laughed again.

When I was paying for it, I noticed she was wearing those bracelets. You know those ones? Those like, little color plastic round ones? She had black and pink and green, a bunch of them on her left wrist.

Now, it's been 6 years since then today, so I can't remember if I said Happy Halloween to her or not. But we paid, and I followed my x gf out the door. She immediately said, "betcha thought she was hot huh? She looked exactly like Avril Lavigne." (see, my xgf was very very jealous about me thinking other chicks were hot, and she knew i really had a thing for Avril Lavigne IMO) ... I lied and told her no of course.

We drove back to the warehouse, dropped the van off, got some gas in the station wagon and went to Pearl Street. There were a few people out there, but not like a huge party. We were walking around Pearl Street, trying not to slip on the ice, being very cold and it just ... started hitting me. I'm like .... wait, wat?

wat IMO?

wtf just ... wtf just happened IYAM?

We stayed at Pearl Street for maybe twenty minutes, went home and probably smoked and went to bed or something.

Over the next couple of days, I'd find myself thinking about that girl at that Conoco. It was like ... she was so freaking nice and funny to me ... and she was just the most beautiful girl I'd ever seen in my entire life. Like srsly. I've never seen a sight of such beauty in my life ...


The next time I had to deliver to the mountains, I went back to that Conoco. Finished in Aspen, stopped at the Conoco on the way back to Louisville. Just for whatever you know, take a piss, get a drink, whatever. We would always stop there. Of course, my x gf was just tagging a long, but I was looking for the girl I saw there.

Funny thing: I never saw here again. I never saw here there again. Ever. It was some other chick. ... some kinda ... chubby looking chick. Somekinda .. .NOT HER chick.

Eventually my xgf started to get sucpisious. She asked why we always stopped there and asked if it was so I could talk to that chick. I told her no. lol I did it ilke this ...


"no. ..... that's ... ... ... that's uh .. that's not the uh, ... that one chick that was there uh ... Halloween night?"

"No I don't think so. ... Oh so THAT'S who you're looking for huh? :madandbitchy:"


"NO" :innocent:


I went back to that Conoco every chance I could. Morning, afteroon, night, never saw her again. I even started going to the Conoco on the north side of the highway. Never saw her there either.

FML FML FML FML

I then started thinking, ....... what if ..... what if my gf woudln't have been with me that night.


FML


So we were living in Colorado, I was working for my uncle. I wrote a song about the whole situation with the girl .. I had written quite a few songs up there.

We moved back to Oklahoma in March 2004. We got an eight of really really ****ing amazing KB. Like, this was the best **** I've ever smoked IMO. Took a picture of a bud, looked like a tiny little decorated christmas tree IMO.


... So we moved back to Oklahoma, stayed together till October 2005 and broke up.

Sometime during those two years, I had told my gf about me looking for the girl, and what I thought of the whole situation. I told her what I believe. She's my soul mate. It's ..... undeniable. There's ... no other ... it's ... She's my soul mate. I truly belive that.

Halloween is the most important holiday in the pagan religion, viewed as the most spiritual. .... I know different strokes for different folks or whatever, ... people think this and people think that ... but none of it matters at all. The only thing that matters is what you think. What you believe. I know what I think and believe, and I do because of things that have happened and expereinces I've had. Yes, I believe in magic. Absolutely. 100%


So, you may think what. kool? Cool story bro.

obviously tl;dr but this is important to me.


So what LirvA, end of story? You met your soul mate working at a Conoco in Wheat ridge Colorado on Halloween night 2003, went back and never saw her again? kool?


Yeah, I met my soul mate at a Conoco in Colorado on Halloween night in 2003. I saw her that night, but never again. Never seen her again.

... but .... I did talk to her again ....


After my x gf and I broke up in 2005, well ... that basically brings me to right here, right now as far as:

I got the internet and a computer, and basically stayed home and didn't get laid for 4 years or have a date or anything. Just learned poker and am now doing that as a job I guess. And have obviously written songs during that time .. I'm a musician, it's what we do IMO.

So ...

Since that night, I've thought about that girl every single day of my life. Pretty much every single day I'm alive, I think about that night and that girl.

Sometime in 2007, I started thinking to myself. what was her name? Gah, I don't even know her name. If I could just go back in my mind to that night, and look at her name tag. Did she have one? Surely she did ... what did it say


One day, all of a sudden, a name popped into my head.

Was it Michelle?

It ... felt right. It felt like it was Michelle. At this point in my life, I'm still practicing witchcraft, and obviously still believe in magic and everything. Michelle. It felt right. It seemed right. I think that's her name. I think that's what her name tag said.

I got on myspace.

I started searching Michelles in Denver.

Guess what? There were ****ing THOUSANDS of them.

FML!

Welp, if a man never does anything in his life, what's he done? Let's do this.

I looked through profile after profile after profile after account after account after account. Just looking through hundreds of Michelles in Denver Colorado on myspace. Checking out the first bit and if it looked like maybe a possibility, looked at the profile and read it and looked at all pictures.

I think I did this for like three ****ing days.

Finally, I came across this one account. In the likes and dislikes section thingy on the left, it said something about jellybeans. Something about jellybeans .. liking jellybeans. In the about me section dealy on the right, it said she was leaving myspace and it listed her AIM. She said to send her an instant message if you needed to talk to her.

So ... I did. Of course .. how could I not?

I added that AIM to my buddy list, saw her on one day and sent her an IM. ... something like ...

"hey do you know the girl that was working at Conoco in Colorado blah blah blah etc. ..."

She blew me off. Like cussed me out and told me to **** off and ****.

um .. ok? later then i guess :/


couple weeks later, see her online. Send her an IM.

Same thing, she blew me off. Hurt my feelings IMO.

Happened again. This time she told me to get real or something. Like she didn't belive me or something. She told me to quick ****ing around. I told her I was telling the truth, started trying to tell her about myself, ... I'm a musician ... bipolar, just realized bisexual couple years ago, ... was molsestered, play guitar want to have band and play music, play poker, etc. etc. etc.

End of convo. Blew me off.

Finally, one day, to my surprise, she started talking to me. LIke ... she was being nice to me. She was actually talking to me.

I asked how the weather in Colorado was,

"lol some stalker you are, I don't even live in Colorado any more"

I loled and smiled, and she smiled back.

She talked to me for like ... a couple minutes. It was nice.



After that, I saw her online one more time, sent her an IM and she didn't respond. Never responded.

That was some time in 2007 and I've never seen her online since. Sent her emails to that account, never a response.


That was the last .. encounter I've had with her.

I don't know where she lives. If she's alive or dead. Well or poor. ... idk. She's just out there somewhere.

like .. i actually found her online. In the huge ****ing sea of people on the internet .... i actually found her. and i talked to her.


I has thought about her every day of my life IMO. I has written many many songs about her. ... I can't seem to write one that's not about her in some way IMO.

Whenever I try to think of something from my past, like I'm trying to remember it. I'm like, wait, was that before 2003 or after 2003 IMO? like ... that night jstu ... completely changed my life. Forver.


Everything I do now in my life, is for her IYAM. I'll do anything. Anything and everything.

I told her about my music, she know's my myspace, my band name ....

So LirvA is obviously Avril backwards obviously ...

but LirvA is the name of my band IMO ... of course, there's a whole thing here about me not actually having a band AORN but I mean still it's like ... my music you know. LirvA is the name of my music IYAM. My band when I get one. I own lirva.com ... I has the myspace, she ... if she ... i mean I'm not hard to find on the internet IyaM. I'm right here.

So basically, I'm at the point where I'm Finally starting to piece together a recording studio, ... just buying a new guitar ..b.ut see, one of the big things ... I'm finaly at the point in poker that I've been trying to get to. Capability. I'm finally capable.

Poker for music. Poker is not my life. Like, if you had to pick one thing to define you, to define your life. It's not poker. not at all. Poker's just a game I happened to get into when I was being home alone after breaking up with my x gf.

my x gf and I actually used to play yu gi oh. That game's pretty cool IyaM.

sometime after we broke up i was sitting alone in my room like I lawys did, and iw as looking through my yu gi oh cards and my friend called me and aksed if i wanted to play cards (poker) and all ic ould play back then was yu gi oh :/ ... that's how i got into poker IMO. My friends.


So, as I was saying, i'm at the point where I"m finally making money with poker, starting to get together musical equipment, and I hope to begin to record and album next year and start releasing music somehow on the internet.

I just have to figure out how the hell im gonna ****ing get around copy right **** ... like, i don't like copy right, **** that. But like creative commons type copy left, where they can freely copy and distribute but not modify, is what I'm looking for IMO. ... I has no idea how much this is gonna cost.

eek and I ahs to renew my domain.


So basically, that's the story of LirvA and Halloween.


.. I do not know if I'll ever see her again IMO.



Cliff notes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0cJOXtnSBwU

frist and my hands are ****ing killing me obviously

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooow

will await for Cliffs.

dude i love you, you know that but holy hell ive been up for 18 hours and i cant read that

wat

Ok, I read the whole fu***** **** post.

here are my cliffs.

[x] PRIME example of putting the pussy on a pedestal

1. OP is in love with Avril
2. OP finds sloot at a gas station that looks like Avril
3. OP doesn't have the balls to get the chicks number
4. OP obsesses FOR YEARS over a gurl who is getting railed (not poker railed u know wat i mean) this very moment
5. I have no more respect for AVRIL spelt backwards, you fu**ing pussy move the **** on seriously jesus ****ing christ that was a TL'DR FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU you don't even deserve to own a penis.
6. ?????????????????
7. no profit to be made in this thread.

Three very important albums for me from this time in my life. THe time in Colorado


Jerry Cantrell - Degradation Trip Vol. 1&2
Nine Inch Nails - The Downward Spiral
Tool - AEnema


I would listen to these albums a lot while working. Driving the van from delivery to delivery.

I do not remember which one I was listening to on Halloween, but it was one of those.

Cliff notes? we can has cliffs.

What he said. Or atleast until it gets 3 stars+.

Missed opposrtunity for a Fresh Prince Roll.

I dont no why but i read it all. All i remember is bi polar, molestered, avril.

wow...huh....

stfu your not a cat

avrils hot

you guise my hands are seriously hurting

this is some ****ed up ****

do the rest of you not feel bad for him?

for me? for what IYO?

Things are going well for me. I'm doing well with poker, things have the potential to come together really well with my music and the internet, I has a car, I has friends IMO.

woot!

from the story it just seemed like you were completely upset over this

you are mistaken KruZe. Avril Lavigne is a dumb **** obviously. She's become everything that I hate and everything I thought she was like the antithesis to IMO.

... Avril Lavigne isn't a musician, she's a ****ing corporation like Wal-mart or Google or some ****.

**** Avril Lavigne. srsly.

standard amirite

i also read the whole thing and thought it was interesting but sad.

Read the whole thingi LirvA.
I wonder now,what if ur ex wasnt there the first time U saw her...

Sometimes one snapshot / timeframe can change ur life completly

I was a ****ing idiot for taking my x with me to ****ing work

Got in trouble for that **** too IMO. ...