meh...gfy

[x]tl;dr
[x]pics
[x]would hit chick in pics

fwiw, since i saw your picture i think you wear a manadana all the time.

I'm readying myself for a fight at this point, but I'm hoping he won't see me as I walk by. We get about 20 feet away and Karl belligerently yells “Isn't that the ****** from the party?” K-fed turns and looks at me. I can see his red eyes. He coughs and I can tell from the wetness of it that he has been crying.

This is NOT what I wanted to deal with tonight.

K-fed “Hey man... why did you do that to me” *SNIFF*
Karl “You ****ing pussy! Are you crying?!”

Karl falls on the ground laughing at this point, only making mandana tear up harder. I feel a little bad for the guy, but the situation is so comical I can't help but laugh too.

K-fed “ITS NOT FUNNY. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE GIRL MEANS TO ME”
Me- “OK, go **** yourself. You're mentally unstable if you feel this attached to some random slut at a party. Face it, i'm the better man. You need to step up your game if you want to compete. Nobody is going to hand you-

He cuts me off

K-fed- “NO, YOU DON'T KNOW. LAST YEAR HALLOWEEN I MADE OUT WITH HER. SHE WAS WEARING A GREEN FAIRY COSTUME AND WE KISSED IN A STAIRWELL! SHE WAS MY FIRST KISS”
Me- Oh wow dude, that actually kinda sucks. I'm sorry I moved in on you.

K-fed- YOU DID, AND NOW I'M NOT GETTING ANY PUH-PUH-PUH-PUH PUSSY TONIGHT. More snot is sprayed out of his nose as he starts crying again.

This outburst causes Karl to fall once again to the ground in another fit of laughter. The laughter turns into more throwing up, but he still can't stop laughing. I start laughing too real hard.

K-Fed lets out one last shriek “ITS NOT FUNNY”. He then turns, picks up the dead raccoon by the tail, and starts swinging it around his head like a weapon. This sobers both of us up real fast. Karl gets up and I back away. Neither one of us feel like getting hit with a face-full of roadkill. K-Fed continues to scream random bits of gibberish. At this point, a small group has gathered and is watching this. After about 20 seconds of swinging this raccoon, the tail separates from the body and the body soars across the street into a car window. Bloody raccoon entrails explode into the car through the driver's seat window and the crowd goes silent.

tl;dr

How the **** is this only a 3-star thread? The last part of the story is coming but I gotta go pick up some dinner first.

FOUND HIM!!!


I'm not his friend on FB and obv i'm not gonna be, but this is 100% him.

I'll log my gimmicks in later and get it back to 5 stars

tl;dr

also dont bother cause if you do ill log mine in and bring it back down to 3 ldo

Jealousy ITT

jealous another man sucks your kawk/licks your ass?

hahahahaha

handbag you're a ******. gtfo

waiting for final bit of TR b4 voting.

no pressure or anything...

lawl

f5f5f5f5f5f5f55f5f5f5f5

lemmie eat my dinner (honey BBQ wings) and then i'll type and post the last bit. 30-45 min IMO

This is great. I want to party with you and K-Fed one day.

:Popcorn gif:

hello popeye

Oh hey, I really like you popeye18. I'd def wingman you.

Typing more now.

cliff notes?

If thats some sort of gay sexual position im down.

hi

K-fed doesn't know what to do. He knows that he just ****ed up, but he doesn't have the common sense to bolt. Instead he just paces back and forth in the street, muttering to himself. Karl and I are collecting our wits and getting ready to run off when the door of the apartment the car was parked in front of busts open. Some nerdy looking guy with a huge fro busts out with his friend. I'm standing there looking at this guy trying to remember where I know him from. I turn to Karl and he is completely shocked. He turns his back to the entire scene and whispers in my ear “That's Ashley's ex-boyfriend”

For those of you that don't remember, Ashley was the hoodrat that Karl banged out at the foam party back in october. I posted a big TR about it and how Karl found out after that the girl had a long-term boyfriend. Karl didn't tell me much about the aftermath, but basically Ashley told her boyfriend about Karl, what they did, etc. He looked Karl up and told him he'd beat his ass if he ever saw him again. FWIW this guy is a real loser. Karl just kinda blew him off and didn't further the argument because he didn't want to get involved in it.

“Who ****ing smashed my car window” ex-boyfriend yells. He scans the crowd, and a few people point at K-fed. However, ex-boyfriend also notices Karl and immediately recognize him. Now he is conflicted. Does he confront the guy that smashed his car window with a dead raccoon, or confront the guy that ****ed his girl?

He picks Karl. Karl is standing about 10 feet away from me. Both ex-boyfriend and one of his thugs get up in Karl's face. However, their backs are turned to me. I knew that **** was gonna go down and it's always better to throw the first punch than to take it. I run up behind the two real quickly and deck the thug in the head as hard as possible. He drops to the ground, out cold. I've never knocked someone out before, so I was like “HOLY **** THAT WAS ****IN AWESOME.” Ex-boyfriend uses the opportunity to clock me in the head. I stagger back and Karl punches ex-boyfriend with his entire might. Ex-boyfriend drops.

Karl and I look at each other and immediately just start sprinting in the general direction of my dorm. As I run by K-fed I point at him, extending my entire arm in his direction. I yell “I KNOW WHERE YOU SLEEP” and he takes a jump back. I dunno why I said that, it just sounded like a badass thing to say. We run back the rest of the way and both pass out. I made it into my bed, Karl passed out in the shower and woke up covered in vomit.

It's been a week and a half now since this happened and I still lol when I think about it. Gotta love college.

THE END

5 stars