Can we be serious around here for a moment #73: dumbest thing you ever heard - Page 12

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Can we be serious around here for a moment #73: dumbest thing you ever heard

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06-25-2010 , 02:58 PM

#276

TheJo0vler

grinder

Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 404

Its not too idiotic, i dont understand why people play BlackJAck when you cant win!

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06-25-2010 , 03:15 PM

#277

GMan42

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 5,299

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jhereg

I leave a note at the gym I clean that there's a lock someone left on one of the day use lockers at our gym, 'its on the 5th locker in the bank on the right in the womens side'. I come in the next day to see two of the girls start laughing at me, they explain we don't have atm's in the women's change room. I stare. One's blonde but the other one had no excuse.

I actually had to read this a couple of times to figure out what the hell they were talking about...is it the word "bank" that confused them? If so, that's utterly ******ed.

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06-25-2010 , 03:22 PM

#278

vbm

adept

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 1,165

Quote:

Originally Posted by M2001

On Saturday I met an English guy at an Irish Pub in Cologne and he told me: "England's gonna win the world cup".

If it was that pub that is on the road that leads to the University and you are an arab looking guy with a silly goatee beard.

Than that english guy was me.

and we still might

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06-25-2010 , 04:20 PM

#279

Jhereg

grinder

Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 443

Quote:

Originally Posted by GMan42

I actually had to read this a couple of times to figure out what the hell they were talking about...is it the word "bank" that confused them? If so, that's utterly ******ed.

Sorry if I didn't explain it well, but yeah I was just as confused when they said it to me. And it wasn't just one, it was two of them that couldn't get their heads around a 'bank of lockers' idea so figured I somehow meant ATM machine.

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06-25-2010 , 05:09 PM

#280

crawl49

journeyman

Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 204

Watching the World Cup match between Ghana and Germany the other day.
Moran: Who is playing?
Hero: Ghana and Germany
Moran: Ohh I bet that's West Germany, right?
Hello Rip Van Winkle....

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06-25-2010 , 09:50 PM

#281

zOrO2k6

adept

Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 1,063

Quote:

Originally Posted by roggo

A guy realised that I did not believe in a god and asked in confusion "How did everything come into existance then?".

Quote

06-27-2010 , 02:13 AM

#282

Degens_LOL

journeyman

Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 364

My mom's side is populated by actual inbreds ******s (wich makes me a semi inbred ******). One of her cousin was especially guilty of performing/saying dumb things.

1. On her honeymoon, she asked her new husband if the moon in Ontario was the same one as in Quebec. Two years later they were divorced.

2. She argued with me, the only time I ever saw her at a family reunion, that kidney stones were caused by a diet too high in pepper rather than sodium. Her rationale: "Stones are black, not white". So not only was she dumb in going against medical wisdom, she was also dumb in thinking kidney stones were actual stones.

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06-27-2010 , 02:24 AM

#283

lonely_but_rich

ɔarpal \ʇunnel

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 24,112

She sounds hot.

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06-27-2010 , 03:55 AM

#284

patcir

enthusiast

Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 78

Heard a guy say to a group of friends well you see there are three places in Korea North Korea, South Korea and Then theres normal Korea

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06-27-2010 , 05:12 AM

#285

JustCuz

grinder

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 692

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dazarath

(Not going to write out all of the conversation leading up to this)
Guy 1: Do you realize how large of a number 52! is?
Guy 2: It's got to be like 100 million!
Me: Umm, it's much larger than that.

Dude, just because you scream "52" doesn't make it a bigger number. It just makes it louder.

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06-27-2010 , 03:44 PM

#286

Morris King

banned

Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 3,061

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ninjar 2.0

In a conversation with a friends sister who just got knocked up.

"So how exactly did this happen in the first place?"

"Well I had unprotected sex with him once and didn't get pregnant, So I thought I'd be ok."

I had an ex who loved the pullout method because it "worked so far." I'm talking years of it, & she was a very sexual/horny person. So probably like oh I dunno at least 15x/mo she probably had sex using just pullout as "contraception." No pills, no rubbers. Over who knows how many years (she was 27 or 28 when I was with her.) I sprayed my share of jizz on her body. Got some in her nose once.

Anyway, she had her 1st abortion last summer and promptly lost all interest in sex as recreation... "I thought I knew my cycle!"

(I dumped her right after that obv)

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06-28-2010 , 05:59 PM

#287

MilloMille

grinder

Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 464

story #1
i once went to a club and met a girl from my school who was really into me. we talked for a minute and than she introduced me to her twin sister, who was a bit big and didnt look like her at all. so after she left i said "thats your twin sister? you lucky you dont look like her." oh snap i was so embarrassed. i insta left and didnt talk to her for weeks. it's a cool story now tho.

story #2
friend: how old are you?
me: 18..... wait no i'm 19.
(actually was close to getting 20 put was pretty stoned)

i say a lot of very dumb stuff maybe ill post more if i can think of another story

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06-28-2010 , 08:00 PM

#288

Six Finger Nate

old hand

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 1,623

A relative on my wife's side (not saying which one) is very religious in a bible belt protestant sort of way. We were discussing religion (I'm not very religious but much more knowledgeable than he is obviously) and he told me that he didn't like "the catholic religion" because "Roman Catholics killed Jesus".

He used to be a deacon is his church too, whatever that means.

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06-28-2010 , 09:59 PM

#289

evildeadalive

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 5,157

Quote:

Originally Posted by MilloMille

don't bother

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06-28-2010 , 10:34 PM

#290

JustCuz

grinder

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 692

Quote:

Originally Posted by Six Finger Nate

It's amazing how little about history most Bible-thumpers know, but this is just plain stupid. Along these same lines, I often ask holier-than-thou Christians what religion John The Baptist was. They almost always say, "Christian!"

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06-28-2010 , 10:41 PM

#291

Amscram

stranger

Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 10

Room mates girlfriend : " What was the name of the ship in Titanic again?"

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06-29-2010 , 12:11 AM

#292

wombat4hire

in touch with humanity

Join Date: Oct 2008 Posts: 6,940

The last paragraph of the "bible /b/ " is superb.

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06-29-2010 , 02:25 AM

#293

DKratzer

enthusiast

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 84

we were smoking a bowl at my buddies place, and sometimes we ask a trivia question to determine the rotation of the bowl. my buddies question is "what's the capital of Maryland?" a very, very stupid girl answers proudly "Washington D.C!" We just start to bust out laughing when by buddy says "yes, that correct". I couldn't believe the odds of two people thinking that, in the same room. This was in college too.

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06-29-2010 , 02:36 AM

#294

ttthomas

journeyman

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 250

at a diner and my buddy orders French Toast. The meal also comes with a side of toast. The waitress asks "what type of toast would you like?" He gives her a dumb look and says "frenched"

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06-29-2010 , 05:07 AM

#295

NT9

newbie

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 18

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustCuz

Dude, just because you scream "52" doesn't make it a bigger number. It just makes it louder.

You nearly got me with your level and i would have wasted my first post after waiting so long. But i'm just too clever imo....

Quote

06-29-2010 , 05:58 AM

#296

JustCuz

grinder

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 692

Quote:

Originally Posted by NT9

You nearly got me with your level and i would have wasted my first post after waiting so long. But i'm just too clever imo....

I'm proud of my clever level, but I can't believe you used your frist poast on me. ygos?

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06-29-2010 , 06:35 AM

#297

jakey

grinder

Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 410

Dumbest thing I've ever heard? Someone tried telling me, in all seriousness, that there is an invisible man who lives in the sky and has more superpowers than superman!

Second dumbest thing I've ever heard? This American once said that the USA isn't as bad as the rest of the world believes it is.

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06-29-2010 , 06:41 AM

#298

lonely_but_rich

ɔarpal \ʇunnel

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 24,112

Quote:

Originally Posted by jakey

Your religious and political views are radical and controversial.

Quote

06-29-2010 , 12:39 PM

#299

WhyNotBet

adept

Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 997

Roommate asks me to look over his application to Ace Hardware.

One of the first questions on the application is "Have you ever worked at an Ace Hardware store before?" - He answered no.

Flip to the work experience page. Job #1: Worked for Ace Hardware for a year.

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06-29-2010 , 02:45 PM

#300

TheGunslinger

veteran

Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 2,193

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustCuz

I remember a story my friend's mom told, she was doing some out-of state work with a group of people who were predominantly religious. One day at lunch the group was discussing supporting an english-only state law being proposed. One lady in the group: "If it was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me!"

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