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Old 07-18-2008, 07:03 PM   #1
Clever Nickname
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Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Brag: Religious grandmother disapproves of poker
Beat: Possibly out of the will
Variance: Have I accepted Jesus as my personal lord and savior?

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Old 07-18-2008, 07:06 PM   #2
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Would the inheritance give you a nice bankroll?
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:08 PM   #3
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Probably not, I think my grandparents got scammed out of a lot of money by a televangelist a few years back, plus it would be divided between like 20 different grandchildren.
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:09 PM   #4
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Bump her off now--viable option?
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:09 PM   #5
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Possible hidden brag: Grandpa still alive but didn't sign the letter, secretly a degenerate at heart?
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:10 PM   #6
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

5rd
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:12 PM   #7
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

if your grandmother is worth more than you can make playing poker you should quit asap
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:19 PM   #8
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

My grandma did this back when in 00' when I graduated...she wrote me a happy birthday card then proceeded to rip me a new one about taking up smoking (I've since quit for four years now) and taking a year off before college. My mom saw the card and called her up and basically called her a ****. Needless to say we didn't talk, she passed and I got cut from the will. Also...kool?
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:21 PM   #9
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Proverbs 10:1-2, imo

1 The proverbs of Solomon:
A wise son brings joy to his father,
but a foolish son grief to his mother.

2 Ill-gotten treasures are of no value,
but righteousness delivers from death.
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:24 PM   #10
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Did she send you any money? If so, send a screen shot of you depositing that amount online.
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:30 PM   #11
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Quote:
Originally Posted by findingneema View Post
Did she send you any money? If so, send a screen shot of you depositing that amount online.
Beat: No money.

Oh, and I just remembered, when I graduated high school their graduation present to me was a book about how Israel somehow fulfilled a prophecy in the book of revelations and that therefore the world was going to end soon.

I never get cool presents from my grandparents
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:33 PM   #12
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

My whole family knows except my Grandma for this very reason. She just wouldn't get it.

Meh, LOLreligaments imo.
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:33 PM   #13
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Quote:
Originally Posted by findingneema View Post
Proverbs 10:1-2, imo

1 The proverbs of Solomon:
A wise son brings joy to his father,
but a foolish son grief to his mother.

2 Ill-gotten treasures are of no value,
but righteousness delivers from death.
lol Grandma owns.
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:36 PM   #14
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clever Nickname View Post
Beat: No money.

Oh, and I just remembered, when I graduated high school their graduation present to me was a book about how Israel somehow fulfilled a prophecy in the book of revelations and that therefore the world was going to end soon.

I never get cool presents from my grandparents
Then the will has nothing worthwhile. Start making bets with her on the apocalypse, it will put her in a tough spot. Either support her crazy ideas or not, but she has to gamble to do it. That should give you back the upper hand.
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:38 PM   #15
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Grandma is a sociopath. Give her what she wants before trees fall and lightning strikes without warning.
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Old 07-18-2008, 07:59 PM   #16
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

God I hate old narrow minded people.
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Old 07-18-2008, 10:02 PM   #17
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

your grandma sucks ass. Seriously, how many cliches were used in that letter?

I counted

"always dreamed you would XXXX"
"don't you want a family?"
"what would your kids think?"
"you have to work your way up from the bottom!"
"parents worked hard for your education don't waste it!!!!"

STFU hobag.

At least she isn't rich so there's no dilemma here.
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Old 07-18-2008, 10:10 PM   #18
RuleThirtyFour
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

am i the only person here who thinks poker isnt a "degenerate" profession?


and i also understand. my great grandmother hated me because i was not born a boy


also, dont forget to read proverbs 10 adam
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Old 07-18-2008, 10:14 PM   #19
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

did you atleast read proverbs 10?
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Old 07-18-2008, 10:23 PM   #20
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Quote:
Originally Posted by lobster View Post
did you atleast read proverbs 10?
yes but only because it was posted here
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Old 07-18-2008, 10:30 PM   #21
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Remind her that by choosing Christianity over the abundance of other religions she's in a way gambling for her eternal soul.
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Old 07-18-2008, 10:35 PM   #22
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

pics or gtfo
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Old 07-18-2008, 10:41 PM   #23
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Quote:
Originally Posted by findingneema View Post
Did she send you any money? If so, send a screen shot of you depositing that amount online.
AAHHAHAHAH, I didn't even think of that, that would be so epic. DOIT
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Old 07-18-2008, 10:45 PM   #24
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

But seriously, who cares? She's your Grandma, she won't be around much longer. Just say something that will make her feel like she made a difference (she's only trying to help, albeit in an ignorant way) and continue like normal.
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Old 07-18-2008, 11:29 PM   #25
findingneema
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Re: Brag, beat, or variance: Birthday letter from grandma

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShipMoar View Post
AAHHAHAHAH, I didn't even think of that, that would be so epic. DOIT
Yeah, that's because I'm awesome, that's why I thought of it. Oh, and I'm drunk.
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