I was reprimanded by "Joe" today....

...for not ordering the chicken.

I kid you not.

Please tell me you told him to go **** himself.

How did this "Joe" guy get a job? What an *******!

I was actually to busy trying to contain my laughter. There was also an email sent to his EA saying that whenever we order from this place that the chicken is a "must get" item.

Asked her to forward it to me, but she wouldn't. Probably a good idea.

I have no ****ing idea. I have seen turnips with better qualifications. Not sure it is possible for me to have less respect for an "executive," let alone a human being.

you're***

ok you're an idiot too

Subscribed. You're a hero.

Epic read. Cant wait for moaaaaar.

I just love how you troll your boss! Love this thread.

Next time, order the chicken too - but ask them to add a lot of carrots to the dish, maybe a ton of garlic or other spices that don't fit in too.

Wow. I just.

Wow

No words

Update tonight if I have time. Too angry ATM to speak or compose.

I will not be here long.

Hope you're alright man. Looking forward to reading what happened though.

This just happened:

Scene: boardroom. Meeting among 20 or so, mostly peers. I am getting more and more frustrated with every passing word.

Joe: We need everyone here to give 110%

Me(tosses pen to floor): Oh JFC you are just one big stereotype of a cliche, aren't you? How the **** is that a useful comment? How can you give 110%? What the **** does that even mean? Should we also "hit the ground running?". Is this your advice? Is this your plan? Say something with some ****ing substance behind it or just keep your mouth shut.

<dead silence from room>

Me: was that a bit too much "synergy" for you?

Exeunt KingFish

Next 30 minutes should be interesting.

There is probably a 50/50 chance I'm having some sort of nervous breakdown. Best way to describe how I feel is...that burnt out numbness you get after you spent 4 weeks smoking too much weed then decide to just quit cold turkey.

It's like that, mixed with unmitigated anger.

Need a Personal Assistant?

I'll probably be one shortly.

Loooooolll. It IS office space.

Since I no longer officially work for joe, they moved my office

It's a shoebox lololololololololololo.

Red stapler, here I come.

I think it's time for you to start thinking outside the box.

Don't Jump to Conclusions so quickly.

Kingfish at first I liked you but then I see how you are going out of your way to make another person's life miserable and now I'm not so sure. What's your end game here? Why are you spending so much of your time and effort doing evil? You seem like you aren't happy at all right now. Thoughts?

Oh and TPS reports, "Oh" face, and flair. That should take care of the rest of the office space references.

Guy came in and laid off all mid and low lev employees who were in top 40% of pay grade regardless of performance, and replaced them with cheapest possible. This meant that 25 people, most of who have been here 5 yrs plus and we're model employees, were laid off in early December. No bonuses.

He was here 1 week when he did that.

Still feel bad for him?

If I gotta justify I can run down minutes of the meeting and what was being discussed.

While of course my actions were not appropriate, I don't regret them. To put it simply: there is some real ****ed up **** going on around here and I am fed up.

No, I'm not arguing that he's not an a-hole. He obviously is.

I'm just wondering why you are expending so much time and energy trying to find ways to tear this man down to no ones benefit. You are pestering and embarrassing him. And while he may deserve it you are probably hurting your career in the process. I don't see where you, your co-workers, or the a-hole gain anything from any of this so why waste your time? You are obviously a very smart and very clever guy. I know you could do a lot more good if you thought about ways to better the situation instead of wasting your time taking pot-shots at an a-hole. Bigger man and all.

Either way it's still an entertaining story.

then quit and find a new job

**** that's he's management material