Just picture the thief driving and laugh quietly to yourself, knowing the joke's on him, because you left the front passenger tire slightly under-inflated. Hahahaha!! Suck'a!
When hes asleep, straddle his face and drop a nice juicy deuce. Not only will this get back at him, but your bowels will be empty, thus you feel better.
For maximum effect aim for his eye socket, then wake him up right before impact.