I was told by my friend, Raymond, to post this in this forum.

I am going to be as honest and open as possible. I love poker. No matter how bad things go at one point or another, I always can come back wanting to play. But to be honest things are bad. Very bad. Thousands of dollars thrown away. Some cases of over playing bankroll. Some cases of bad play. What is most definitley many cases of bad beats that are just nonstop at the worst times, when I am all in with the best of it, whether tournament or cash. Like the other day in a Poker Stars tournament, I got it all in with A-K and a guy called me with A-9 and if I had won the pot I'd have sailed to the final table, but wouldn't you know it, but the 9 came on the river.

My problem is I do not want to blame most of my loses on bad beats. I do not consider myself a bad player. I feel I understand the game well and did very well for myself for the first year and a half of me playing, and I have read all the top strategy books (ie Doyle, Harrington, Phil Gordon).

I am posting this because my emotions are really hurt. I have a love for the game that is stronger than anyone I know, yet I am still stuck online in the microstakes games, never getting my money up high enough to move up. The only site I have done well is pokerstars and thats mainly because I got 3rd in my first MTT 5 card draw tournament. That took my $50 deposit and made it like $150. I got it up to $270 with some more five card draw tournaments recently, however yesterday I got myself down to $205 with losing tournaments and limit and no limit cash games. I also used to do pretty well on Party because they had that "Sidebetting" feature.

The casino was a mixed bag for a while with no limit, and I was doing ok for a while with limit. Then there was a time where I was going through a rough patch in life but went to AC anyway and played when my emotions made it that I shouldn't. Once I was playing 1-2 no limit. 2nd hand is AA. I usually slow play pocket aces, but this time I raise it up to 10 in late position, and even say "All you can eat, baby," to try to induce callers. Early opponent raises to 20. One caller, so I hit them both with the min-raise and make it 40, and say, "Inhale the vapors." Opponent thinks for second and calls. Other guy folds. Flop is A-10-10. I will admit my heart raced a bit but I kept my cool. He bets 50. I call. Turn is 6. He goes all in. I instacall and flip my aces full. I am sure you know what he flipped. Yes, 10-10. I was off the table in two hands down another $300. Felt all too familar to me that I didn't even tilt when I went back to limit. I was later thrown out of the casino for smoking at the table.

I wish I had someone to watch over my game and find what I need to change or improve to turn myself from an average player, according to donkeytest.com, into a high stakes shark. I want so so badly to be a top skilled high stakes poker player like Mansour Matloubi and I am really hurting right now for what to do before I really lose it. Poker is my biggest passion. It's my only passion. Life really sucks without it right now. However poker has been sucking for a while and I need to start winning consistantly. Please help me!

PS - For the record, in the time it has taken me to finish this post, I have suffered 4 suckouts in a nl tournament where I had over a 80% chance to win the hand at the point which I got sucked out.

Dont play tournaments

I found myself always depositing and I couldnt really work out why

I never followed my progress but as far as I knew I wasnt really losing much when playing cash games. Sometimes I'd tilt and lose but overall I thought I faired well in cash games

I went and got pokertracker and found I had list 3 times in tournament buy ins than I had in playing cash games

I immediatly stopped playing tournaments (this is recently) and I am focusing on cash because its obvious thats where the potential for me to make money lies

The big prize of a tournament can be very tempting but in the end you will never make your money back on tournaments unless you win the ME

I always minimize the window when im all in or put an oppennet all in after i see their cards.... cuz it doesnt matter what the flop, turn river are... itjust matters how good you get your money in.


so if they suck out on the river.. you would never know you were ahead

so instead of going from beingvery happy on the turn to pissed on the river , you just go from kinda happy pre flop to kinda pissed. less emotional swingsthis way = less tilt

read Phil Gordon's book again... then you're sure to be a good poker player

Stop playing tournaments, and read up on Bankroll Management for the level you're playing. If it's NL cash, keep at least 20 buyins, for example.

and when you're done don't forget to back the truck up