I never feel the person to judge anyone's lifestyle, and i have no intention in doing so now. But everything i read in this thread makes me feel, like how empty can a life get? I don't wanna insinuate that beneath all blablabla you feel very empty and lonely etc, because i have no way of knowing that and your posts absolutely seem to point in the opposite direction.
But i can't see how such a lifestyle could work unless you are extremely egocentrical and extremely shallow. The word shallow seems judging, i know, but i don't mean it like that. There are plenty of shallow people in the world and that doesn't make them bad, lesser people or anything like that and certainly not less happy as it seems.
But for me personally, to engulf yourself in a world that is founded in blood, greed and poverty, to have relationships that are based solely on a fiscal interest from the other end would be something i could never do, nor want to do. You'd have to not see AND/OR not care about those aspects to be in it for as long as you have, i think(?)
For instance, i used to snort cocaine on a regular yet recreational basis for a handsome period, but have laid off it once i got some insight (with a few documentaries and some reading material) in the trail of blood and violence that follows the cocaine from the fields onto my little mirror. Of course i couldve figured that out beforehand, but, i don't know, theres a big difference between logical reasoning and being confronted with raw graphical data. I could never look at it the same anymore, and haven't used since. Lots of people probably would find this ridiculous, but honestly, that's just me and i think more people would start to question their use when having their eyes 'opened up' in that sense.
In your lifestyle however, the raw facts of this industry seem to be all around you, unlike with cocaine, but that doesn't stop you one bit. That's weird for me, probably like you think i'm mad for quitting coke for the reasons mentioned lol
No prob, justed wanted to share my 2 cts. after reading the thread,
what scares me though, is how many posters seem to be jeaulous of you, its like deep down we're all pigs but can't be like that because of social standards and whatnot. I never intend to be naive, but i actually do try have a little more hope for the nature of humankind.
Last edited by Riina; 01-14-2011 at 01:01 PM.