Just saw this thread for the first time yesterday and skimmed through it. Not sure there is really anything to "learn" from this experience, other than don't get married too young and you don't really know what you want in a marriage yet.
Basically it seems like OP got married to a military man when she was young, grew a little older and realized this wasn't the life for her, and she got out. I am sure this same basic story happens a lot, especially to young women who marry military men, although most of the time there is procreation involved which makes things a whole lot messier in the end.
Unless OP was willing to live miserably (which does happen) it seems like this ending was very inevitable and unavoidable, and wasn't really anyone's fault.