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Old 06-22-2008, 02:30 PM   #26
a5wantinga10
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

lol this thread is so creep and hilarious. i love it.
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Old 06-22-2008, 03:31 PM   #27
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

good lord, this is thread is just side splitting laughter.
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:01 PM   #28
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Soooo much potential.... keep em coming.
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:02 PM   #29
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

looooool amazing. pls keep poasting
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:06 PM   #30
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

[x] thread delivers
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Old 06-22-2008, 04:48 PM   #31
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Next time say your name is either James or John. Most common names fyi.
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Old 06-22-2008, 06:05 PM   #32
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rollos View Post
Next time say your name is either James or John. Most common names fyi.
ty for the tip, I don't typically go to work during the day, girls aren't as lonely until night.
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Old 06-22-2008, 06:30 PM   #33
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

please keep this thread going this is hilarious
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Old 06-22-2008, 07:02 PM   #34
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Time to post THIS:

bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14: Aight.

bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.

bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.

bloodninja: Me too baby.

BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.

bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14: Hey...

bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 **** of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.

bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me *****, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.

BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of ****.

bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of metal.

bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

bloodninja: Baby?

-------------------

bloodninja: Ok baby, we got to hurry, I don't know how long I can keep it ready for you.

j_gurli3: thats ok. ok i'm a japanese schoolgirl, what r u.

bloodninja: A Rhinocerus. Well, hung like one, thats for sure.

j_gurli3: haha, ok lets go.

j_gurli3: i put my hand through ur hair, and kiss u on the neck.

bloodninja: I stomp the ground, and snort, to alert you that you are in my breeding territory.

j_gurli3: haha, ok, u know that turns me on.

j_gurli3: i start unbuttoning ur shirt.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't wear shirts.

j_gurli3: No, ur not really a Rhinocerus silly, it's just part of the game.

bloodninja: Rhinoceruses don't play games. They f*cking charge your ass.

j_gurli3: stop, cmon be serious.

bloodninja: It doesn't get any more serious than a Rhinocerus about to charge your ass.

bloodninja: I stomp my feet, the dust stirs around my tough skinned feet.

j_gurli3: thats it.

bloodninja: Nostrils flaring, I lower my head. My horn, like some phallic symbol of my potent virility, is the last thing you see as skulls collide and mine remains the victor. You are now a bloody red ragdoll suspended in the air on my mighty horn.

bloodninja: Goddam am I hard now.

--------------

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?

eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.

eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you f*ck up.

eminemBNJA: Oh ****

eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something
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Old 06-22-2008, 07:11 PM   #35
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

LOOOOOL

best laugh i've had in a while

especially the last 'i put on my robe and wizzard hat'



edit: post more please, ur awesome

Last edited by Handwerpen; 06-22-2008 at 07:12 PM. Reason: plz to be poasting more
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Old 06-22-2008, 07:16 PM   #36
fraserbrown
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

If you have raised kids, and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!!! Overview: I had to take my son's hamster to the vet. Here's what happened:
Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room.
He's just lying there looking sick," he told me.
"Oldest trick in the book, son," I informed him. "You go in to see what's wrong with the sick one and the other one sneaks up behind you and bonks you on the head. Then they change into your clothes and escape." "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"


I put my best hamster-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking distressed. I immediately knew what to do. Call the professional.
"Honey," I called, "come look at the hamster!" "Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies." "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife. "Well, what did you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!) "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice).


"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.


"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, you think?)


By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience!" I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."


"OH, Gross!" they shrieked.


"Well, isn't THAT just Great!" what are we going to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)


"Well, when my parents' dogs had puppies, I took them up to the grocery store in a cardboard box and gave them away," I recalled.


"So what are you going to do, go up with a pair of tweezers so people can pick out their hamster?" she asked. (Gotta love her!)


We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.


"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.


"A breech birth," my wife whispered, horrified.


"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.


"Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried again, with the same results.


"Should I dial 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with my females?)


"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. "I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is "of her womb", for God's sake.)


The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.


"What do you think, Doc, an epidermal?" I suggested scientifically.


"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.


"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.


"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This hamster is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy."


"What!?"


"You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, male hamsters will, master, er, er, ah..." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."


We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just ... just...Excited?" my wife offered.


"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence.


Then my viscous, cruel woman started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.


What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless Manliness.


Tears were now running down her face. "Just ... that ... I'm picturing you pulling on its ... its ... teeny little ... " she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.


"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamsters and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.


"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.


"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing into laughter as I gave her a dirty look.
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Old 06-22-2008, 07:18 PM   #37
Robin van Persie
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Why ruin the thread with something older than the internet?
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Old 06-22-2008, 07:20 PM   #38
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Quote:
"You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, male hamsters will, master, er, er, ah..." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."
A friend of mine has hamsters, i should probably tell him this magnificent story
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Old 06-22-2008, 07:52 PM   #39
IsaidTOPTOP
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by fraserbrown View Post
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism.
Beat: Level 3 Eroticism.

Paladins cast atleast level 6.

Last edited by IsaidTOPTOP; 06-22-2008 at 07:52 PM. Reason: or battle mages
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Old 06-22-2008, 07:56 PM   #40
degenamine
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

i usually stick to the under 16 crowd. they are teh t1ghtest
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Old 06-22-2008, 08:00 PM   #41
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

h0t
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Old 06-22-2008, 11:04 PM   #42
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

This is getting good.

More bloodninja please.
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Old 06-23-2008, 01:52 AM   #43
TeamWalMart
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

<Bloodninja> Wanna cyber?
<MommyMelissa> Sure, you into vegetables?
<Bloodninja> What like gardening an ****?
<MommyMelissa> Yeah, something like that.
<Bloodninja> Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
<Bloodninja> You bend over to harvest your radishes.
<MommyMelissa> (pause)
<MommyMelissa> is that it?
<Bloodninja> You water your tomato patch.
<Bloodninja> Are you ready for my fresh produce?
<MommyMelissa> I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
<MommyMelissa> (pause)
<Bloodninja> I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
<Bloodninja> I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
<MommyMelissa> Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
<Bloodninja> my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
<Bloodninja> Damn baby your right, this **** is HOT.
<MommyMelissa> ...
<Bloodninja> My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
<MommyMelissa> What the **** is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
<Bloodninja> Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. *****.
<MommyMelissa> whatever.
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:03 AM   #44
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

what the **** is this madlibs?
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:12 AM   #45
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Birthdayflan View Post
try hitting her
newbies aren't allowed to use such advanced lingo.
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:39 AM   #46
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TeamWalMart View Post
<Bloodninja> Wanna cyber?
<MommyMelissa> Sure, you into vegetables?
<Bloodninja> What like gardening an ****?
<MommyMelissa> Yeah, something like that.
<Bloodninja> Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
<Bloodninja> You bend over to harvest your radishes.
<MommyMelissa> (pause)
<MommyMelissa> is that it?
<Bloodninja> You water your tomato patch.
<Bloodninja> Are you ready for my fresh produce?
<MommyMelissa> I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
<MommyMelissa> (pause)
<Bloodninja> I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
<Bloodninja> I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
<MommyMelissa> Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
<Bloodninja> my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
<Bloodninja> Damn baby your right, this **** is HOT.
<MommyMelissa> ...
<Bloodninja> My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
<MommyMelissa> What the **** is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
<Bloodninja> Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. *****.
<MommyMelissa> whatever.

greatest single post I have ever seen.
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:40 AM   #47
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Birthdayflan View Post
try hitting her
Im not sure if this will wrk, empiremaker2 tried this at the fullmoon party and he came home alone that night
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:41 AM   #48
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by dirtbag88 View Post
greatest single post I have ever seen.
welcome to the internet
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:45 AM   #49
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by TeamWalMart View Post
<Bloodninja> Wanna cyber?
<MommyMelissa> Sure, you into vegetables?
<Bloodninja> What like gardening an ****?
<MommyMelissa> Yeah, something like that.
<Bloodninja> Nuthin turns me on more, check this out
<Bloodninja> You bend over to harvest your radishes.
<MommyMelissa> (pause)
<MommyMelissa> is that it?
<Bloodninja> You water your tomato patch.
<Bloodninja> Are you ready for my fresh produce?
<MommyMelissa> I was thinking of like, sexual acts INVOLVING vegetables... Can you make it a little more sexy for me?
<MommyMelissa> (pause)
<Bloodninja> I touch you on your lettuce, you massage my spinach... Sexily.
<Bloodninja> I ride your buttocks, like they were amber waves of grains.
<MommyMelissa> Grain doesn't really turn me on... I was thinking more along the lines of carrots and zucchinis.
<Bloodninja> my zucchinis carresses your carrots.
<Bloodninja> Damn baby your right, this **** is HOT.
<MommyMelissa> ...
<Bloodninja> My turnips listen for the soft cry of your love. My insides turn to celery as I unleash my warm and sticky cauliflower of love.
<MommyMelissa> What the **** is this madlibs? I'm outta here.
<Bloodninja> Yah, well I already unleashed my cauliflower, all over your olives, and up in your eyes. Now you can't see. *****.
<MommyMelissa> whatever.
Please post more bloodninja wherever these are coming from.
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Old 06-23-2008, 02:51 AM   #50
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Re: AIM convo w/ girl ends abruptly - can I salvage it?

HAHAHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAA OMG AHAHAHAHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHA OMGO MGO MGOM OGM GOMHAAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAA
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