I gave it a shot (i know this girl from college)

me: want to go halves on a baby
her: ya
me: neat
me: now?
her: k
me: k i was saving myself for marriage though but i think i can make an exception here
her: good
me: k
her: so
her: lets go?
me: alright
her: i take off ur socks
me: i take off your socks
her: i take off ur headband
me: i kind of had an accident
her: wat
me: i have reserves though
her: i cant work lyk this




it was my first time and I was nervous

this thread has potential

Found this after 1 minute googling:

http://www.bloodninja.org

QFT. Best I've read in a while.

Edit: Said this before all the recycled stuff that we've seen 100 times. More BillNye please.

<I.F.> My **** is hard you ready to jump aboard?
<1hOttYeVe> oh yhea im so wet right now
<I.F.> Why you just shower?
<1hOttYeVe> no im wet for you
<I.F.> Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator **** you would dive and slide down, there was that badass pool at the end of it.
<1hOttYeVe> What the **** are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not?
<I.F.> I do! Sorry...I just didnt know why you were wet...then you say your wet for me, and im thinking I didnt even throw water on you...
<I.F.> Im sorry lets continue!
<1hOttYeVe> alright then...I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest
<I.F.> I pop like 16 boners
<1hOttYeVe> what the ****!
<I.F.> what?

I can't stop laughing at those chats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+100

amber4ever

http://www.shortandhappy.com/amber/chatlogs.htm

since we are rehashing over-posted worn out chat logs.



firehawk906: ok
firehawk906: (puts dick in pussy)
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Subtle and understated.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You must be a hit at parties.
firehawk906: yep
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So is that how you have sex?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You just cram it in?
firehawk906: either way
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: "either way?"
firehawk906: well w condom
firehawk906: but this time w/o
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But you just cram your limp dick right in holes?
firehawk906: well once
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Once?
firehawk906: well no thay was my brother typin
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What? Are you and your brother jerking each other off?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: ***.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Double ****.
firehawk906: he is i'm not
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Fagermint twins.
firehawk906: ready?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yeah!
firehawk906: (puts dick in pussy)
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That's not how it works.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Ouch.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am utterly unlubricated.
firehawk906: w/o the condom it will do that
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Really?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Where did you get this information?
firehawk906: i have it in
firehawk906: (up and down)
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Wait wait wait. Up and down?
firehawk906: ok
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You are missing some important steps
firehawk906: what?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Have you ever had sex before?
firehawk906: i learned it in 6th grade
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Did you pass?
firehawk906: A+
firehawk906: u know the male class
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Excuse me?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So - what did you learn in this sexology exhibition?
firehawk906: yeah
firehawk906: u ready?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yeah!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Give it to me!
firehawk906: (puts dick in pussy)
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Again?
firehawk906: yea
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: (up and down)
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: (in and out)
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: (left and right)
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: (communism and capitalism)
firehawk906: (up and down)
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: (ike and tina)
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: (snake and bacon)
firehawk906: ohh baby
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: (chicken and biscuits)
firehawk906: oh baby yea
firehawk906: oh baby u want it hard?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Let me guess?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: (UP AND DOWN)
firehawk906: oh baby scream
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Where is your penis again? I forgot.

the stuff that's been posted a million times is stupid by now.

more from op. A+ work

<Terrorist Sympathizer> So I read your reply on YouTube on that Mila Cyrus video.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> HI!!! cool u like MILEY cyrus too?
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Absoultey not.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> oh y not?
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Why do you is a better question. I don't see how being a "goregous singer" makes her music any good.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> oh i also like her voice!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> That was your first mistake.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> hey! cmon dont be a dick!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Why not? I have one.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> lol!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> But seriously that's very dumb.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> NO IT ISNT DONT BE A JERKOFF
<Terrorist Sympathizer> This is just something you'll have to learn to accept in time I guess.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> whatev..you have a weird name lol
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Are you trying to make fun of me? I served in Iraq for your benefit I don't need to come home to this ****.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> geez. i was just saying..
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I had to do some things I wasn't proud of and I'd rather not talk about it.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> ok okay sorry
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Anyways, So what's your real name?
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> Alicia.
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Well that's a very pretty name.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> <3 THANKS! i don't really like it thou
<Terrorist Sympathizer> So I see you have a lot of videos with half naked men.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> ahhh just the hawt 1s lol
<Terrorist Sympathizer> So you like someone at your school?
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> wel yes, theres alot of cute boys
<Terrorist Sympathizer> R U a WILD girl in school
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> yes totally lol! i get along with people
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I bet you go to a lot of parties.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> actuually yes i do there fun y not?
<Terrorist Sympathizer> oh no that's fine.
<Terrorist Sympathizer> You dad doesn't mind?
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> i live with my mom she doesnt need to know! lol!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Do you mind if I hold you?
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> what?
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Well you know, like pretend hold you
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> ohhhhh!!!! ok sure play your cards right and u can do more than that
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Can I kiss you?
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> yes i love kissing!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> But I want to do more than kiss.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> mmm so do i!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I bet you're the type of girl that will try most things at least once.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> ahh yes you got to live life right?
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Right.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!>
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I want to bring you close to me.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> please
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I bring you close to me and hold you in my strong arms
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> mmmm so warm!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I gently lick aorund your lips while slowly removing your bra
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> with im not wearing so bra is already off lol
<Terrorist Sympathizer> feeling no bra i grab at your shirt and tear it off you ripping it in two
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> aw this shirt is to cute!
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> i kiss your lips and put your hnads on my hips
<Terrorist Sympathizer> i pick you up and slam you on the bed
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> oh oh be gentle!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I genlty brush the hair off you face
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> ah nice yeah
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I slide my hands down your body to remove the rest of your clothes
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> i sit up and start to pull off your shirt
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I smack your hand and shove both your shoulders back down on the bed
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> OO! alright tough guy
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> i lean my head back hoping youll kiss my neck
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I do just that. And now that your body is entirely naked, I reach down into my giant bedside cooler and remove an ice cube.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> oh kinky! I like!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I slowly rub the ice cube from your forehead down aroundyour neck
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> oh yes pleas keep going
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I rub the ice around the outside of your breasts
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> ahhh yes baby
<Terrorist Sympathizer> then I rub the ice around your nipples and watch them perk up in pleasure
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> mmmm nicee
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Seeing as how you are enjoying this I reach down for several more cubes and psread them all over your body
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> oh! :O Cold! ahh but a nice cold
<Terrorist Sympathizer> i continue spreading the ice around like a child using fingerpaints for the first time
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> wow im shivering! but i reach up and grab your shoulders in delite
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I knock your hands aside and decide to go for it
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> yes yes!!! GO Do it!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Okay then. Using my rippiling muscualr arms...
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> mmmmm yes..
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I pick up the heavy cooler and dump the entire 5 pounds worth of ice all over you completey covering your body
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> WHAT????!!!!!!!!!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I hear a faint gasp but lay firmly on top of you to prevent you from moving. My clothes are getting soaked but keeping much the cold out.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> AHHH!!! GET OFF!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING LOL LOL
<Terrorist Sympathizer> NUDGE NUDGE NUDGE NUDGE NUDGE NUDGE
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> ALLRIGHT!!!! HEY! haha this is geting wierd!
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Damn Still alive. I reach through the ice sifting around until I find your nose and I squeeze your nostrils together.
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> ...
<Terrorist Sympathizer> While my palm shoves some ice cubes further down your throat that you were trying to desperately to gag out
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> ok stop Please! llok. im on the bed naked no ICE CUBES and i;m rubbin my tits 4u
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Some dying gurgling sound escape your body that strangely sound like words. But no matter youare just about dead
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I start to remove my clothes and smile knowing i won't ahve to wear a condom this time
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> **** YOU THSI ISNT FUNNYYOUSICK ****
<Terrorist Sympathizer> ah yes i'm so ready as my raging erection tears it's way free and dives into the pile of melting cubes searching for the quickly extinguishing warm spot
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> ****U****U****U STOPIT
<Terrorist Sympathizer> I find it sucess! I finish immediately, but not to worry, you'll body will keep a little longer...as long as I keep it on ICE! hahahahahahahaahah
<Soccer and BOYS Oh My!> **** THIS WHAT TEHE **** IS TYOUR PROGBLEMS!! YOUR ****DE BEY SICK****ER
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Hello? Are you still there?
<Terrorist Sympathizer> C'mon I'm ready for another round what do you say?
<Terrorist Sympathizer> It says you are away. You do know you aren't really dead right?
<Terrorist Sympathizer> Does this mean we won't be doing this again?

LOLOLOL @ BloodNinja, I never knew any outside bash.org. This **** is great!

http://www.bloodninja.org/view.php?id=8
http://www.bloodninja.org/view.php?id=3

As always I'm willing to take your guys advice.

BNSciGuy69 (8:22:02 PM): Hey gurl wut r u ^ 2
SarahJE2 (8:23:09 PM): Hey, not too much
SarahJE2(8:23:12 PM): Who is this?
BNSciGuy69 (8:23:16 PM): Jon
SarahJE2 (8:23:36 PM): ooh, why did you get a new screen name?
BNSciGuy69 (8:23:51 PM): no reason
SarahJE2 (8:24:01 PM): The '69' is a tad immature, I liked your old one more
BNSciGuy69 (8:24:09 PM): don't worry baby, it's just my hockey #
SarahJE2 (8:24:13 PM): Ooh
BNSciGuy69 (8:24:15 PM): anyways... what are you up to 2nite, wanna hang out?
SarahJE2 (8:24:23 PM): mayb I kinda wanna see the Happening...
BNSciGuy69 (8:24:30 PM): well either that or I could insert my penis into your vagina... ya know see how it feels
SarahJE2 (8:24:35 PM): How Dare You!
BNSciGuy69 (8:24:39 PM): Missionary preferebly
BNSciGuy69 (8:24:43 PM): Quite frankly I'll settle for any position at this point.
SarahJE2 (8:24:48 PM): OMG Who is this really?
BNSciGuy69 (8:24:50 PM): Jon.
SarahJE2 (8:24:57 PM): My Brother would never talk like that.
SarahJE2 has signed off (8:24:59 PM).

::::: D

www.billnye.org plz

LOL

I approve of this thread, but for ****s sake stop posting chatlogs that are like 1000000000 years old (bloodninja stuff).

These r all so awesome..

LOL LOL MORE BILLNYE!!!!!

excellent

This is the greates thread. I'm crying.

im psml

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=psml

nvr seen that used b4.

<BloodNinja> Wanna cyber?
<DirtyKate> K, but don't tell anybody ;-)
<DirtyKate> Who are you?
<BloodNinja> I've got blond hair, blue eyes, I work out a lot
<BloodNinja> And I have a part time job delivering for Papa John's in my Geo Storm.
<DirtyKate> You sound sexy.. I bet you want me in the back of your car..
<BloodNinja> Maybe some other time. You should call up Papa John's and make an order
<DirtyKate> Haha! OK
<DirtyKate> Hello! I'd like an extra-EXTRA large pizza just dripping with sauce.
<BloodNinja> Well, first they would say, "Hello, this is Papa John's, how may I help you", then they tell you the specials, and then you would make your order. So that's an X-Large. What toppings do you want?
<DirtyKate> I want everything, baby!
<BloodNinja> Is this a delivery?
<DirtyKate> Umm...Yes
<DirtyKate> So you're bringing the pizza to my house now? Cause I'm home alone... and I think I'll take a shower...
<BloodNinja> Good. It will take about fifteen minutes to cook, and then I'll drive to your house.
<DirtyKate> **pause**
<DirtyKate> I'm almost finished with my shower... Hurry up!
<BloodNinja> You can't hurry good pizza.
<BloodNinja> I'm on my way now though
<DirtyKate> **pause**
<DirtyKate> So you're at my front door now.
<BloodNinja> How did you know?
<BloodNinja> I knock but you can't hear me cause you're in the shower. So I let myself in, and walk inside. I put the pizza down on your coffee table.
<BloodNinja> Are you ready to get nasty, baby? I'm as hot as a pizza oven
<DirtyKate> ooohh yeah. I step out of the shower and I'm all wet and cold. Warm me up baby
<BloodNinja> So you're still in the bathroom?
<DirtyKate> Yeah, I'm wrapping a towel around myself.
<BloodNinja> I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door....
<DirtyKate> What the ****?
<DirtyKate> You perverted piece of ****
<DirtyKate> ****

Seriously stop with the 50 year old bloodninja ****

BillNye for mod

You ****ing morons linking bloodninja just install Internet Explorer this year?

seriously wtf blood ninja is from the ****ing AOL days in the mid 90s