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Old 08-29-2012, 06:00 PM   #1051
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Re: The well: atakdog

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Originally Posted by iversonian View Post
you sound like a giddy schoolgirl tbh
honestly, when he was telling me on AIM, I couldn't stop laughing

Last edited by TimeLady; 08-29-2012 at 06:00 PM. Reason: it's very cute
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:02 PM   #1052
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Re: The well: atakdog

Congratulations, Atak.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:03 PM   #1053
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Re: The well: atakdog



(Congrats. Hope she's into bridge!)
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:04 PM   #1054
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Re: The well: atakdog

I do have a question though.
Assuming she seems 100% perfect. Why rush to be married? There is a nonzero chance of a huge pain in the ass hassle if things go badly in the future (not something you can foresee now), but what is the downside to waiting?
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:05 PM   #1055
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Re: The well: atakdog

He finds out next week that she hangs an American flag on her porch and her great uncle was George Kennan.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:05 PM   #1056
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Re: The well: atakdog

Who is she: Resume shows an ex-Wall Street VP who left the profession because she believed it was killing her; she is now a yoga instructor. English; emigrated after law school. Yes, her accent goves me shivers, but so does everything else about her so I suppose my objectivity could be called into question.

Married twelve years or thereabouts. One daughter just started college; one atakpup's age. Divorced long enough that she's over it.

Gorgeous.

My age (almost exactly), so there go the cradle-robber jokes. Sorry.

Very down to earth, the way you would expect of the yoga teacher (not the wall street type). Leads nature walks; plans eventually to donate the land on which I'll be living for a while to a conservation organization. But no granola/birkenstock type — she showed up last night (zomg second date) in cheetah print stilettos and a you-have-to-have-me dress.

[omitted part that I REALLY shouldn't post — but I promise it was good. ]

So ... I'm engaged. I'm moving. I'm going to be with someone who I already know calms me, balances me, probably will eventually help me learn not just to suppress my demons, but to convert them into Pegasi. And to feel perfectly fine with the fact that last sentence probably looks ridiculous. I don't care — it's real, and it's right.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:06 PM   #1057
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Re: The well: atakdog

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Old 08-29-2012, 06:06 PM   #1058
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Re: The well: atakdog

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Originally Posted by NhlNut View Post
dog
pup
AtakB----

it's only logical
I already made an atakbitch account — that's taken for someone else, as should be clear if you think about it. Sorry.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:07 PM   #1059
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Re: The well: atakdog

lol english. o/u on number of far too obvious jokes i'm crossposting with (including mine): 3

Last edited by iversonian; 08-29-2012 at 06:08 PM. Reason: meh
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:08 PM   #1060
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Re: The well: atakdog

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Originally Posted by WinEvryRacex View Post
I do have a question though.
Assuming she seems 100% perfect. Why rush to be married? There is a nonzero chance of a huge pain in the ass hassle if things go badly in the future (not something you can foresee now), but what is the downside to waiting?
Perfectly fine question, and we probably won't. I have no idea when we'll get married, and the point was never the engagement. That's just a description — part of it — of the situation. We're done looking; we will be together fifty years from now. Could that be wrong? Yes. But there's no reason to dwell on the possibility.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:10 PM   #1061
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Re: The well: atakdog

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you sound like a giddy schoolgirl tbh
Yup, I know. It's my well, I get to. And I'm happier than I've been in ... ever?

I'm 45. I have dated hundreds of women. I have a pretty firm basis for knowing when something's outside the normal range, and this defines the end of the range.

And fwiw — no, not a manic stage. In fact, was slipping into depression as I realized pup was going home.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:11 PM   #1062
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Re: The well: atakdog

how old will you be in 50 years? Seems improbable that you will both still be alive.

Last edited by CalledDownLight; 08-29-2012 at 06:11 PM. Reason: x-posted with age. yea, at least one of you is likely dead in 50 years.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:11 PM   #1063
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Re: The well: atakdog

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honestly, when he was telling me on AIM, I couldn't stop laughing


Spoiler:
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:12 PM   #1064
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Re: The well: atakdog

has she been made aware of pog and its role in your life?
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:12 PM   #1065
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Re: The well: atakdog

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how old will you be in 50 years? Seems improbable that you will both still be alive.
Paging one of our actuaries (a profession I'm considering, but that's a decision for ... a couple weeks from now?
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:13 PM   #1066
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Re: The well: atakdog

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has she been made aware of pog and its role in your life?
She has not.

It was with that in mind that I deleted a paragraph above.

And to be honest, I believe POG and its role in my life will diminish even more as a result of all this.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:14 PM   #1067
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Re: The well: atakdog



congrats atak. i'm assuming that a condition of the engagement is that she'll allow you to post in nhl threads more than you should?
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:16 PM   #1068
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Re: The well: atakdog

Atakdog . take it slow man... ENJOY the romance, please please please slow things down.

Have fun learning about each other. Promises made based on a relationship built on dreams and hopes are far far weaker than promises built on the full knowledge and understanding of what truly is a composite of each person.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:17 PM   #1069
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Re: The well: atakdog

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congrats atak. i'm assuming that a condition of the engagement is that she'll allow you to post in nhl threads more than you should?
Lol — since the "should" is probably none, I would think so.

If I get, ya know, a real job, that will have an effect, and that probability is now increased. I was ready for that part of the transition, as evidenced I think in my posting for April. But now, I believe I will have a much improved focus — I will not shut down after failing to find the perfect profession or situation, I will just understand that pretty good is good, because there are more important things in my life. (In the past when I was working a lot, that really wasn't true.)
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:22 PM   #1070
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Re: The well: atakdog

Congratulations atak, seeing this made my day brighter.
Ill be one of the ones telling you to slow down a bit, no problem moving (if worst comes to worst, finding a new place is easy, and atakpup is fine regardless right?), but give it 6-8 months before you consider anything more. As you said, hormones, they will go away in time and you'll notice that she isnt perfect. If she's still what you want/need and you're still what she wants at that time, go for it imo, though it seems a foregone conclusion from what you've shared.
This being said, Ive no experience in the matter (sadly, I wonder how my brain would manage it), so take it with a grain of salt.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:22 PM   #1071
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Re: The well: atakdog

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Atakdog . take it slow man... ENJOY the romance, please please please slow things down.

Have fun learning about each other. Promises made based on a relationship built on dreams and hopes are far far weaker than promises built on the full knowledge and understanding of what truly is a composite of each person.
In all seriousness, reality meant that to some extent this wasn't possible. The plan, such as it was, had me returning to Chicago three days after our first date. Long distance could have happened but I've seen that that is very difficult to make work. So going several of the steps made sense, if we each believed (reasonably?) that it was worth trying for. Essentially, I needed to move (she can't because of her daughter), and that was the biggest step.

the rest is just, arguably, words, including my ability to spin them into what I just posted. That's what's in my head now too, and hers as well. Does it mature? Yes, certainly. I get that. I get that it's possible we realize that it's not sustainable, nor even right. No knots have been permanently tied. That we each firmly expect them to be, and are willing to say that, I think (and may be wrong, I admit) will not greatly affect our likelihood of getting it right, nor our ability to enjoy the ride.

And I promise based on the last two days, the ride is going to be VERY enjoyable.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:26 PM   #1072
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Re: The well: atakdog

Quote:
Originally Posted by atakdog View Post
So ... I'm engaged. I'm moving. I'm going to be with someone who I already know calms me, balances me, probably will eventually help me learn not just to suppress my demons, but to convert them into Pegasi. And to feel perfectly fine with the fact that last sentence probably looks ridiculous. I don't care — it's real, and it's right.
Good luck

i fell in love with hifi in less than a month and felt all of those things

I wish you the best. But keep your eyes open

but her not being young and being mature makes your chances much better
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:28 PM   #1073
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Re: The well: atakdog

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Congratulations atak, seeing this made my day brighter.
Ill be one of the ones telling you to slow down a bit, no problem moving (if worst comes to worst, finding a new place is easy, and atakpup is fine regardless right?), but give it 6-8 months before you consider anything more. As you said, hormones, they will go away in time and you'll notice that she isnt perfect. If she's still what you want/need and you're still what she wants at that time, go for it imo, though it seems a foregone conclusion from what you've shared.
This being said, Ive no experience in the matter (sadly, I wonder how my brain would manage it), so take it with a grain of salt.
Yeah, pup's life is not affected either way by much — I think he's better off with me here, but frankly a marriage or not won't matter, and if things did fail to work out it would be fine for him.

We do know it. There are two pretty damned potent left hemispheres involved, and we get it. But each of us chooses to look at it this way, while acknowledging subtly that we know things will change and that the change may force reevaluation.

In other word: I'm bipolar, and smitten, but I'm not an idiot, and she's much more grounded and also a really smart cookie. I understand how what I just wrote looks, and trust me, I believe all of it. But ... Yeah. Thing is, there are "buts", but there's no need to worry about them right now. And maybe not tomorrow ... but that's for tomorrow. For today, everything I wrote is true.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:29 PM   #1074
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Re: The well: atakdog

gtg for now. Obviously, this is to be continued ...

Thanks for all the good wishes, everyone.
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:32 PM   #1075
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Re: The well: atakdog

Kidding aside, good for you. Enjoy.
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