Bio: I'm a 32 y.o. male. I was born in the Soviet Union but have been living in Italy for about 27 years.
My knowledge of modern music is extremely lacking; there is a chance I have not heard a hit song you think everybody has. However, see "taste in music" for disclaimers.
My poor musical cultured means that you might find my write-ups unsatisfying; if you do, it will not be for a lack of trying on my part.
Taste in music
Here's the link to the reveals of the
two twowalruses[/url] that I ran on this site.
I think clicking on these links could prove very useful to understand what I like and what I don't.
Moreover, I have already participated in a few walruses:
Duckburg's
trololopalooza (
warning: embedded youtube videos. Open at your own risk).
captain binkles'
walrus.
tappokone's
walrus.
LKJ's
walrus.
Monkey Banana's
walrus.
Bloobird's
walrus.
27ninjabunnies'
walrus
Banks and Jenny's
walrus. Had to use a pastebin link since Banks and Jenny did not reveal their walrus.
Walrus
superstars.
Bloobird's
"Turbo" walrus.
fnord_too's
Matrix Walrus (reveal is still ongoing).
If you cannot be bothered to click on everything, check my submissions to the Banks and Jenny walrus.
It's definitely my best one in terms of submission, if not of results.
If you're too lazy to click on any of this, find some pointers below:
- Do not submit rap or hip-hop. You are almost guaranteed to come in last place and I might send you dick pics.
- Do not submit Queen, Beatles, David Bowie or ABBA, or songs from NDDP or Les Misérables. I love them all but I want to hear something new (also, see 8).
- House, soul, trance, techno are extremely high-risk genres. Heavy metal is a slightly lower-risk genre, but it is still hit-and-miss.
- I LOVE the piano.
- Not a member of the potato and lampshade team. Deliberately unpolished, slow and ponderous indie stuff (stealing this definition from Gadarene) leaves me rather indifferent. It probably won't come last, but chances of podiuming are also questionable. I happen to like well-polished songs, thank you very much.
- This will be obvious to whoever clicked on the links above: classical music is fine. Classic rock is fine. Instrumental and foreign-language submissions are fine, unless the category description says otherwise. However, songs in Italian and especially Russian are higher-risk entries for obvious reasons.
- I have not prejudiced against progressive rock and, more generally, long as **** songs. However, if I don't love a song, listening to it for 10 minutes will definitely not make me like it more. Exception: classical music.
- I am running this walrus bc I want to listen to new music. So I will reward songs that I have not heard beforehand. Moreover, if I decide that you should have expected me to know the song you submitted, you will be penalized (specifically, your song will only score higher than the facemelters and the rap/hip-hop submissions). Clicking the sign-up thread of my previous walruses should help you a great deal.
- Music=>vocals>>>lyrics. All three are important to me, but I might turn a blind eye to terrible lyrics if the music and or the vocals are exceptional (the black comedy category is the obvious exception). The opposite will not happen. Unpleasant music or vocals are always a deal breaker.
- I am not saying you have 0.0 chances of winning with a song described in points 3 and 5. High-risk submissions that I unexpectedly end up linking will be rewarded appropriately. However, they are called "high-risk" for a reason.
Last edited by UncleDynamite; 08-21-2018 at 06:42 PM.