"i love you! and i love watching cars going around in circles! i know the car watching isn't your thing, understandably. how would you like to handle this? for me, i feel like a good solution is once a year i just go watch it. come with me if you want! if you don't want to, that's ok too.

and to be clear i'd never choose car racing over you. it's something i like to have in my life in addition to all the love i get from me choosing to spend so much time with you because i love you.

and im sorry if you hate how much i love car racing. i'm not perfect. we all have our flaws. i know it's kind of silly to go spend a week watching the cars race, but it's something that makes me happy. and the happier i am, the better partner i can be to you.

what do you think?"

and maybe even invite her to a therapy session, and she can explain her views to you and the therapist. maybe even just feeling listened to will help her

and if i was her, i might be like "wtf, how does a 12 hour car race last a week?"

some tv shows should be tagged "religious bullshit" so we don't waste our time watching them.

i was trying to watch "the oa" the other day on netflix cuz i was looking for something to watch. and it's rated pretty high. and i remember driving by the netflix offices on my home, and saw people outside protesting because netflix cancelled OA lol.. so i thought "wow they loved that show that much?"

but it's just religious idiocy, self felatting bullshit

It's no manifest

The synopsis seems to give a Leftovers vibe?

It's not about cannibalism

I think pwns has it mostly right, especially the "not walking on eggshells" part and that it's good to have separate interests.

I go to wrestling shows several hours away and sometimes go to a bar all day to watch football. My wife makes light hearted fun of me for it, but would never accuse me of "putting X before the relationship".

I realize that one day away is different than one week away, but that 2nd to last line reads a little red flaggy to me. Going to this event is one of your things that is a part of you.

I'm still in shock that Filthy's friends call him Buffy.

Thought process is probably something along the line of if you wanted to spend time *with her* then you’d invite her to do something she enjoys too and inviting her to do something she doesn’t enjoy doing deprioritizes her in that context, or even that she feels insulted because her going would add to your possible enjoyment of the race at her expense for going someplace she wouldn’t like to go. Also possibly there is a hidden element that she hasn’t been feeling particularly special recently or is unhappy with the current amount of time dedicated to her and your relationship as a singular focus. The easiest thing to do would be to ask if she could help you understand her feelings, the way asking made her feel, as opposed to going over the physical details of the trip. Feelings aren’t always logical but they’re valid to the person feeling them. My 2c

(Years ago) I did this with a message to a girl I had sent a "I have a thing for you" message to. Liked it again after like 8+ years. I just crawled into a hole and died.

I survived.

But still depressed about it all these years later

Rather than invite her into your "Me-world" you should stimulate her to go and do something that she likes and that you don't care much about.

I'm coming down more on the side of run like hell. Of course I just got out of an 8 year relationship with a not so mentally stable person, so I might be a bit biased.

There are sort of infinite reasons for her response without more details so harder to answer that question. However you respond I'd try to be very direct, though.

No clue how to respond to someone with Borderline.

On a lighter note, last November was 10 years since pwns, Tbob, and I went to Cherokee together. My how time flies.

Lemon girl!

I tried to meet up with tbob a few months ago and he blew us off. May be in cherokee again in Feb.

"cars going in circles" is a shitty thing to say to someone you love about something that is important to them.

and yeah, i guess it's a red flag. but i hate to think of red flags as deal breakers, and more as cries for help.

like she probably said that because she loves you, and is scared of losing you to something you love more than her. so she tries to belittle it in a misguided attempt to protect herself from being replaced.

so maybe talk about that with her, and make her feel safe. and maybe in a kind, nurturing way teach her that she can protect herself much better if she's more open to trying to make your life genuinely better, than if she belittles things you like.

yesterday my gf saw my screen, and asked "what's that?"

i said "oh that's the forum i post on all the time. i know all these people. like see this guy right here, he loves coupons! and he's really good at deals"

she was intrigued when she heard "deals"

she said "what do you mean?"

and i said "like this phone right here. it's the only smart phone i've ever owned. and he told me to get it for like 20 bucks or whatever. and he told me to get this phone plan thats six dollars a month"

she also saw my avatar and said "why are you a girl?"

Does she need a new phone?

Today I learned that his gf is not one of the people who call filthy Buffy.

Lemme reboot and get that info out of there, I’m low on memory.

my phone is showing signs of age. it might die soon

she does call me buffy!!! lol everyone i interact with in person does. but she didn't recognize the little avatar

she's my first gf to call me that though. i was too embarrassed to tell my previous gf my name, cuz i thought it was too emasculating and she wouldn't like it.

All this time I've just assumed that was TSwift in your avatar.

I've said this before but I get a bit tilted by recipes that have salt to taste, but I decided to get the Blue Apron deal and their recipes also have salt to taste, and it's for that are difficult to taste for at the time of salting.